What's Mallard raving about today?
Another Miley Cyrus joke, about a month since she was last relevant.This is truly representative of today's conservatives.
And how about those young people with their jitterbugging and their Charlestons and bathtub gin? And steamship food! Am I right?
Re Monday: Couple things, Mallard:1) Since people already routinely hold their hands out on Halloween in anticipation of receiving candy, it's highly unlikely that anyone is going to "get" your costume idea.2) Considering that you owe your entire career to handouts (in the form of wingnut welfare), and thus are ensured that you'll be taken care of from cradle to grave, you really have no right to be complaining about anyone else asking for a handout. But then, conservatives don't "get" irony, do they?
Monday's "comic" at least features a drawing of something other than a duck.That makes it one of the best Mallard Fillmore's ever.P.S. Going back to Sunday - if you REALLY want to have a Miley Cyrus Halloween Costume joke, try Foxtrot. Of course, Foxtrot is a success, selling millions of books a year (it's FREE in the papers and on the web, but it's good enough that people will pony up CASH to read it in book form!) whereas Mallard Fillmore is a failure (given away free in the papers and on the internet, almost zero book sales.)
Twerking. It's always twerking.
Tuesday: mocking "Low Information Voters" is ok, I guess, although the artwork is lazy and the "poem" does not scan.And who would these "low information voters" be ? The ones who think Obama was born in Kenya ?
Yes, Mallard (assuming that's supposed to be you under that Unknown Comic costume), you're right: unfortunately, the votes of stupid, ignorant people count the same as the votes of intelligent, informed people. That's how we ended up with two terms of George Fucking Bush (which included the worst terrorist attack ever on American soil and a multi-trillion-dollar war of choice and the collapse of the economy, thanx ever so) and a Republican majority in the House three years ago (which has brought us one manufactured governmental crisis after another).And Bruce -- considering what your strip looks like every day, do you really want to be calling more attention to yourself by complaining about other people not being too keen on working?
So it's the dumb voters who are obsessed with twerking. Riiiight.
Yes. It's the voters, and Tinsley will expose them ruthlessly in a five-part series real soon. Sneak Preview: Twerking!
"A good old fashioned POLL TAX would stop these unemployed welfare bums from voting! Well, time to cash my Reverend Moon check for my exhausting 5 minute a day work schedule!"
Re Wednesday: Today's entry brings into sharp focus the fact that these aren't actually costume ideas, just Mallard/Bruce bitching about his various straw men. You can tell because identifying the costumes is entirely dependent on the characters explaining what they're supposed to be, and the explanations are derived from Mallard/Bruce's twisted, Fox-fueled, reality-free worldview. ("Old you-know-who"? Is that supposed to mean something to anyone other than you, Mallard/Bruce?)
Do you suppose he'll stop after tomorrow, or keep doing this easy fapping for another week? All he has to do is draw a little pic and a big one, and scrawl out a non-scanning 'limerick' with lines that don't really rhyme.It's as if he thinks someone said "this strip can't get any worse," and his daily challenge is to prove them wrong.
Evidently the Tinsh is an unpoet and doesn't know it.
Thursday, All Hallow's Eve.Well, Brucie, tell us how you really feel about little girls. They dress up like WHORES, don't they? They make you feel like a wanton criminal don't they? God Damn that Obama for weakening the moral fiber of AMERICA and ushering in an age of TWERKING and slutty little sluts parading around on YOUR PORCH like HARLOTS!GOD DAMN those LIBERAL HOLLYWOOD ELITISTS who force these permissive attitudes down the throats of American, creating a generation of SLUTTY LIBERAL MOMS who fully embrace the sexualization of innocent little girls and then usher their little liberal WHORE CHILDREN onto your porch begging for candy. GOD DAMN them for making you have to conceal your illegal boner while you reluctantly give out whatever bargain basement dreck treats you can afford now that Obama has ruined the economy.Maybe you give out no candy at all. Maybe you turn off your porch light and peer through the curtains at the endless promenade of FORBIDDEN SEX FRUIT that comes onto your porch, TWERKING their prepubescent asses all over, shreiking for treats. What are you wearing Brucie? Your truth to power, hot button pushing cartoonist costume: the puke stained t-shirt and loose baggy sweat pants? Hey Bruce, do you know why prostitution exists? Because there are men who will pay for sex. Do you know why children are sexually abused? Because there are adults who are ill, who prey on innocence.Jesus, what a sad enterprise is Mallard Fillmore.
Also, Bruce, I hope you exercise your right to lecture all your neighbors about what terrible parents they are for forcing you to get sexually aroused by their children. I'm sure that'll go over well.What a piece of work.
Hey Duckie, I don't know what these girls are wearing, but you're the one running around with no pants.
Costume no one will ever wear: Sexy Bruce Tinsley.
Costume no one can imagine: Sober Bruce Tinsley.
Another day of Tinsley hawking a 2004 study (which a commenter at MF notes is based on data from 2000). If I was to offer one of them data from 2007, I'd be hooted and flung at for bothering them with stuff from Ye Olden Dayes. Also, he's said it twice now, so it's twice as true. The 'conservative mind' at work!
Nine years? I guess this is Tinsh's way of making his customary three to four week lead time look fresh and current.Anyway, it took him nine years to get to this talking point (that proves... what, exactly?) because he had to take his fearless stands against twerking and little girls dressing like harlots.
Can't go back to that restaurant? He was probably banned for life - god knows what awful thing he did in the kitchen.
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