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Sunday, September 01, 2013

Week of September 1, 2013

What's Mallard raving about this Week?

Read and Comment!


Tog said...


Read Frank Stone's comment at the end of the previous thread (#24).

I want to rant at length (even for me) about Tinsley's increasingly-open bigotry and psychotic projection, but it's so out-in-the-open now the only remaining question is when he'll become too "hot" for the papers to touch.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

"This country doesn't have a problem with racism! It has a problem with people pointing out racism!!"

CW in LA said...

Ick - I made the mistake of reading the comments. Evidently 'racist' now describes anyone who has the temerity to go around being black. Otherwise, you know, they'd be like normal people.

Man, I would not have guessed six years ago we as a society were still this fucked up about race. I guess once HRC is elected we can get a big close-up view of how truly fucked up about gender we are, too.

Frank Stone said...

I see Bruce has traded in his dog whistle for a moose caller.

Tog said...

I thought this was satire when I first read it:

The Texas Board of Education wants to refer to the slave trade as the “Atlantic triangular trade”. What the hell is the “Atlantic triangular trade”? What do you call the millions of African-Americans whose ancestors came here as slaves? Descendants of triangulates?

Capitalism can only be referred to as “free enterprise system”, largely because of the negative connotations of the word “capitalism”. Personally I don’t think there is anything wrong with capitalism but they should consider teaching that unfettered greed can be bad for society.

The board has diminished Thomas Jefferson’s role in history because of his belief in the separation of church and state. Students also are required to learn that America’s founding documents were influenced by various intellectual traditions, “especially biblical law,” and principles laid down by Moses. From the tenor of the changes, the board approved the foundation for a fundamentalist Christian theocracy. It would be kinda like Iran, only it would be the right Christian kind. Social conservatives, creationists and religious fanatics who dominate the Texas State Board of Education want to redefine the Constitution as an explicitly Christian document and highlight the role of God in the establishment of the US.

The board approved dropping references to a landmark court case that barred schools from segregating Mexican American students. Joseph McCarthy’s campaign against suspected communists is now to be toned down. Like McCarthy was just a curious senator, right?

Tinsley would still insist...well, you know the drill.

Tog said...


Poor white people! Everyone's against them! Especially the triangulates! What did white people ever do to anyone! Wee wee wee, all the waaaay home.

What makes the strip funny is that Tinsley, who (along with the rest of the right-wing media) promised nationwide riots if Zimmerman got away with murder, is calling Sharpton a race-baiter. I guess IGOIYAWB.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

I'm not racist! I have this one ethnic friend, and he says that it's okay to react to everybody like him with fear and suspicion, so not racist at all! I just hate race hustlers.

Well, it's dinner time. We can go to that steak place that's recommended by my friend who is a steer wearing a chef's hat. He says it's totally okay!

Frank Stone said...

Oh, joy -- looks like we're in for a whole week of "N!@@#RS are the REAL racists!!!"

Let that freak flag fly, Brucie.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

D.W. Griffith's INTOLERANCE is on. He made the movie to slap back at those intolerant Negroes who didn't think his Klan epic, BIRTH OF A NATION was all that hot. I haven't been watching closely, but I wouldn't be surprised if he invents the term "race-baiter" in it.

The patron saint of reactionaries. How it would gall his spirit to know that in Wyoming, a Klan leader has met with an NAACP leader. What's the world coming to?

Tog said...


Whoops, Tinny breaks off his whinge to take a shot a Public Education--because it's just a socialist program of indoctrination that falsely teaches "round Earth" lies, math (tool of Satan), and nonsense about dinosaur fossils, all without Teaching The Controversy.

It also encourages race mixing, which is just morally wrong, don't you know.

Hear tell Rev. Phelps' Westboro Baptist Church has an awesome homeschooling program.

I wonder if Tin-Tin homeschooled the daughters he used to brag about, way back when he was erroneously considered relevant, since he's the stay-at-home-or-bar parent. That's a pretty disturbing thought, given that he's a climate change denialist, an express believer in the Laffer Curve, Intelligent Design, tax-break job-creationism, Birtheridiocy, union busting, and other preposterous evidence-defiant or completely-disproven nonsense...and yet fancies himself an intellectual wiser than any teacher not associated with Trump University.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

My niece and nephew, home schooled, came out pretty good. Mind you, my sister's a hard-headed liberal who took them out of school because they were being taught music wrong, not because of dinophobia.

Frank Stone said...

Mallard's starting a "Top 10" list in the middle of the week? Oh, the suspense! Will he follow through? Does he really have 10 of these? Is he just randomly changing topics as he goes along? Will he jump to something entirely different tomorrow?? Woooo....

Tog said...

I didn't intend to impugn all homeschoolers. It's just that contrary to Tinsley's advertisement it's not the superior option for everyone. My mother was an alcoholic and my father was a get-rich-quick scheme-chaser; I shudder to imagine homeschooling in that environment. (In fact, while public school was no Heaven, it was my escape from the nonsense at home.)

Naturally, Bruce's Bobbleheads immediately went Full Racetard on public schools; but they're not racist etc. etc. etc.

CW in LA said...

I don't know if I can see Tinsh home-schooling his spawn; it sounds suspiciously like work. Unless...

"Fine, ya li'l shit. Yer homework assingmen' is t' go t' th' fridge and gemme another can a' Research. An' shutcher damn yap - Hannity is on."

Yeah, that sounds about right.

Tog said...


Poor Bobbleheads are gettin' downright persecuted in the OregonLive comments today! That's what happens when all you got is "Mallard is right, I don't know nothin' about the subject but I believe whatever FOXNews tells me to!"

Somebody did the research, and found out that "Arlette Tinsley's LinkedIn page says she enjoys volunteering at her children's schools. So I guess she's smart enough not to listen to her husband." But then, she IS the stupid hippie Birkenstock liberal of Troop Tinsley.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Bruce is trying to count down from ten to one. Let's just see how far he gets. It's already been suggested that he'll find a way to cut it short with a "public school kids cain't count nothin'!" jab, which sounds all too plausible.

Sometimes it seems like he hates his constituency more than he hates liberals.

Frank Stone said...

Oh, wow -- so he's actually forging ahead with this nonsense. And he's counted down correctly from 10 to 9 instead of jumping around randomly like he usually does with numbered lists. That's something, I suppose.

Ve shall see how long your attention span holds out, Mister Tinsley. Ve shall see...

Tog said...


Maaaan, Tins actually went there: public school = nannystate babysitter. You don't love your kids if you send them to school!

I'm just glad he's laying off the racebaiting for a few days, and letting his bobbleheads show everyone that they're just as gibberingly stupid about other subjects as they are about race.

Bill the Splut said...

...Because in modern America, every father is paid enough to allow the mother to stay at home and school the kids. This is because of the benevolence of our Corporate Masters! Praise the CEO, he who from all Good flows!

Hey, Tinny, wake up and join the mid 1970s. Both parents work now, because they have no choice. Why do you think there are daycare centers?

Tog said...

@Bill the Splut: The answer is clearly to make poor people work longer hours and shut down all daycare centers to teach them the value of work! Stupid poors! Why don't they just stop being poor? Donald Trump did!

Tog said...


Yup, Tinsley's Top Ten crapped out already. This must be Obama's fault somehow.

So it's back to Mallard bitching about the TV he can't seem to stop watching. Yeah, THAT's fresh.

Frank Stone said...

Oh, shit -- Bruce! Hey, Bruce!! Check it out, man -- the love of your life is gonna be on the market again!!!

Go for it, Bruce! Sure, it's a long shot -- hell, I sure didn't think it would ever happen -- but when an opportunity to snag your Soul Mate comes along, you gotta throw caution to the wind! Track Georgie Z down! Show him why the two of you are made for each other! He may have ignored your love letters, but if he can see in person how true and pure your love for him is, he's bound to see the light!!

Don't lose hope, Bruce!! FIGHT FOR THE MAN YOU LOVE!!!

CW in LA said...

Hey, that's right, Brews. Track Commander Blob down. Follow him, even if the authorities advise against it. If he resists, don't be deterred: Stand your ground! What's the worst that could happen?

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...



Randy Winn said...

Hi - I've been away but nothing has changed.
Mallard is still badly drawn and not really written at all.
Although I did get a bonus snicker from the abandonment of the "Top 10" list. The comments on the comic page says it's because it's Saturday - I suppose - but the countdown started on what - Wednesday?
If you were going to align a top 10 list with the week, you'd start on Monday.
Ah well. It's like trying to make sense of a flattened squirrel in the middle of I-5. Pointless even if you succeeded.

Tog said...


When Tinsley doesn't even bother to scrawl "*" in one corner to cover his ass, it's a sign he's probably pulling something out of it.

Heaven forfend Tinsley do anything beyond "slip the question out there"--i.e., "teach the controversy," "throw the turd," etc. Tinsley wants you to think he has all the answers, but I'd like to see some evidence, just once.

Randy Winn said...

SUNDAY 9/8/2013:
"No Child Left Behind" is an expensive failure!

Uhm, that *is* what it's saying, right?