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Tuesday, January 01, 2013

Week of January 1, 2013

What's Mallard raving about this Week?

Read and Comment!

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

And this non-event is a bigger news story than Hurricane Sandy's destruction?
DW

Frank Stone said...

Mallard Fillmore: Defender of Self-Righteous White Christian Bigots Everywhere.

Gosh, Bruce -- you need a Dramamine after all that spinning?

MartyRotten said...

So Bruce, I take it that you don't eat pork or shellfish, wear blended fabrics, have tattoos or work on the Sabbath? And isn't there something in the Bible condemning drunkeness?

Bill the Splut said...

Bruce believes adulterers should be stoned to death, got it.

Randy Winn said...

I'm proud to live in Washington State, where We The People *finally* enacted marriage equality, ahead of most of our great nation.
So far, God has not smited us and in fact the Seahawks are having an amazing season!

Borborygmy said...

@Randy Winn: But you can be sure that sooner or later something terrible will happen in Washington State, and Bruce and the gang will blame it on God being annoyed by gay marriage.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

I'm pretty sure it's not the phrase that makes you seem hateful to people, Bruce. It's all the hateful shit you believe in and want enforced.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Come to think of it, agreeing with everything Mallard says would pretty much have to be hate speech.

(And Mallard continues the "Marvin" shtick with a whole week and more of xeroxing over half the strip, and the 'new' part is a dorky drawing with a glob of text. Oh, look: he colored in the "P" today! He's angling for a spot on Grandma's fridge!)

lam****ing said...

Can't wait for #1. My guess: Christmas happened again.

Frank Stone said...

To provide this series with a little more truth in advertising, replace "Top News Story" with "Whine List".

Anonymous said...

Why does it look as if Mallard is playing a banjo?

Tinsley thinks that news organizations that report facts and reality are biased.
And most people that he thinks are "liberals" are actually pragmatic realists.
DW

Bill the Splut said...

Remember how the Mainstream Media hounded Romney for his tax returns and laughed at the Tea Baggers' demands for Obama's birth certificate? I do! Of course, I live in a parallel universe. A different one than Bruce's.

Anonymous said...

I assume Randy Winn is also proud that Washington state made history as the first in the nation to legalize marijuana possession. No wonder he is so happy. Another leftist low-information voter who helped Obama continue to trash America.

Anonymous said...

In the coming New Year, 2013, both Groundhog Day and the State of the Union address will occur on the same day.
This is an ironic juxtaposition of events. One involves a meaningless ritual in which we look to an insignificant creature of little intelligence for prognostication.

The other involves a groundhog.

CW in LA said...

I see Anonymelonfucker hasn't had that swift yet painful death yet. That's unfortunate.

Neo Tuxedo said...

It's entirely possible, CW, that Anonydiot already died and its brain, having been functionally dead for years, simply didn't notice.

To anticipate its most likely replies: if it's going to bleat some variant of me "engaging in personal attacks", I'm going to have to express my amazement that God doesn't implode from the sheer crushing irony of such brazen IOKIYAR hypocrisy. If it's going to say something about my being afraid to debate it on the facts, that'd be even more crushing, given its steadfast refusal to provide any.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

(Fri) That's it? This is NUMBER ONE WITH A BULLET? An irrelevant sex scandal?

Our Mr. Tinsley is really putting the Duh in Duck lately.

Randy Winn said...

Dear Anonymous Coward 2:48 PM
I *am* proud that Washington ended Prohibition on a substance that I don't use, but is provably less dangerous than alcohol ( "Provably" as in "with science" and "facts" .)

In this, and in celebrating marriage equality, I'm a better conservative than today's "Conservatives". And in hiding behind anonymity, Anonymous Coward shows the roots of his fake conservativism: fear.

Anonymous said...

I do have to get back to work...but since this so-called hate fest of a blog appears to have died I have to wonder what the D&C 'regulars' will do with their time?

Perhaps Randy Winn will take over this blog. I hope this is the end of it. The libs can concentrate on bashing someone else that does not believe like this group of losers.

Neo Tuxedo said...

hate fest of a blog [...] concentrate on bashing someone else that does not believe like this group of losers

I'm going to count that as a variant of "Oh noes, teh mean librulz are engaging in personal attacks" — which, coming from somebody who calls the actual President of the United States "an insignificant creature of little intelligence", is an irony so crushing that it could be used to implode any God in a finite organical perception. But I guess personal attacks are IOKIYAR -- It's OK If You're A Republican.

CW in LA said...

Melonfuck has work? I guess that's how those rambling, incoherent e-mails circulated by everyone's wingnut aunt or father-in-law get generated.

lam****ing said...

Way to fool us all by counting to zero, fumduck.

Bill the Splut said...

Hey, Mallard just called for legalizing all drugs!

And Bruce just gave us his carefully nuanced and caring reaction to the Sandy Hook massacre of first graders, with a hearty "Who cares?"
FUCK YOU WITH A BUSHMASTER, YOU SOULLESS PIECE OF SHIT.

Anonymous said...

Wrong in so many ways. Can you count the inappropriiate substitutions?
Typical wrong-wing strategy seems to be to obfuscate the real issues.
DW

Randy Winn said...

Anonymous Coward 10:35 AM is using his bosses' resources to comment on a blog? Well, that explains why he lacks the balls to use a handle.

Back when *I* was a conservative (... the Nixon years, which today's "conservatives" consider a hellish time government regulation and high taxes brightened only by the opportunity to Crusade in Asia ...) we put a premium on courage. Today's "conservatives" put a premium on cowardice. That's a big part of the collapse in their infrastructure ... they're happy to scream obscenities but unwilling to actually grasp the issues.

I have a great many "conservatives" in my circle of friends. We go drinking together, build stuff, etc. If we stay off politics, we can get a lot done; if we go to politics, they get angry because the facts of the world don't fit the ideas they formed decades ago (...which is why Mallard Fillmore shows "liberals" with ponytails and propeller beanies...). If Anonymous Coward wanted to contact me offline, we could go for a beer and maybe come to some common ground on double-hopping and the insanity of light beers.

P.S. The opposite of love is not hate, it's apathy. This blog is dying out because no-one cares about Mallard Fillmore.

Randy Winn said...

Nothing must get in the way of Tinshley's right to shoot 10 shots without reloaded.
If 20 children have to be buried in closed coffins because there's not enough left of their faces, well, that's just the price of Brewsky's freedom ... a price he's happy to let other people pay.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

I've said something very much like this, only not with the intent of shrugging off any efforts to reduce unnecessary deaths, but with the idea of pointing out the hypocrisy of people who say "but people disobey laws" and still think everything they don't use should be illegal.

Quick show of hands: How many liberals here make it a practice to go over to conservative blogs and keep telling them to close up the blog and keep their mouths shut forever? None? Just checking. For extra laffs, I should go read MF at GoComics and see how many conservatives there whine about how people shouldn't be allowed to criticize their boy Bruce.

Marion Delgado said...

Whichever minority gangbanger the shooter got his weapons from would have scorned your laws, you know. When you outlaw guns, only Jose Muhammed X will have ... oh, so it's my core audience? A law-abiding, middle-class, white mom, a gun-nut and a survivalist? You can see how society is falling down when even Mallard Fillmore readers aren't safe in their homes! What sort of drugs did the nanny state give her child? What kind of there-is-no-God and anti-American values was he taught in those elite East-Coast schools!?

Neo Tuxedo said...

Hey, Mallard just called for legalizing all drugs!

Inorite? I'm thinking of writing in to the paper in my area that carries MF and asking "So, is Mallard saying liberals support the War on Some Drugs, or is he saying conservatives are pro-gun-control?"

FUCK YOU WITH A BUSHMASTER, YOU SOULLESS PIECE OF SHIT.

Or, to paraphrase Channon Yarrow, "I want to shit in [Bruce's] heart."