What's Mallard raving about today?
Should I be flattered that he's reduced to stealing my entries in Dean Booth's "Cap'n Caption" New Yorker cartoon captioning game? Or should I just shake my head slowly at how feeble, irrelevant, and incoherent he manages to be, even on an easy target like the fiscal bluff?
Actually, it was in the brochure. It's been there for MONTHS. It just wasn't in the news cycle.
Uh, I thought there was a deal worked out, so this wasn't a thing any more. Brews' timing here is even more exquisite than usual.
You're slipping, Bruce. You forgot to include a sinister-looking donkey (to represent them ee-vul dem'crates) bashing the crack in the cliff with a sledgehammer. How will your devoted sheep -- er, fans -- understand who to blame unless you tell them??
Monday. We're off to another endless series for which Tinsley had to make one drawing before filling in the rest with (say it with me) one crap scribble and a bunch of text. As a freedom-hating liberal, it pleases me that the guys who dispense wingnut welfare get so little in exchange for their money.
Tuesday- Bruce A) doesn't remember what caused the problems at Altamont (hint: it had nothing to do with bad drugs) B)thinks it's HI-LARIOUS that the Stones are still touring, and that only OLD PEOPLE could possibly like them. C) Thinks pooping is funny.
The punchling was above the crude drawing: ".... a lightning rod for controversy with the right-leaning duck consistently addressing hot button issues ..."
Here we go again, another orginal creative idea, another list. Bad gift ideas #68, New Year's resolutions #14, New Year's prediction #1.To make it even lamer, Brucie is making fun of someone for being old, someone not much older than Brucie probably is!I complete understand why DaveyK gave it up. Brucie has made himself so irrelevant.
I remember people making "Steel Wheelchair Tour" jokes when the Stones went on the road in 1989. Like, twenty-four years ago.Way to stay cutting-edge relevant, Bruce.
Today, Bruce re-establishes his right-wing bona fides by bitching about something that happened during the '60s.Now tell us about how Spiro Agnew totally got a raw deal, Bruce. And how we totally could've won Viet Nam if it weren't for those Dirty F*****g Hippies™.
"Hur, hur, it sucks cuz old people like it." Way to change things up from "Hur, hur, it sucks cuz young people like it," Brews!Still, a question for the Tinsh: When the fiftieth anniversary of your starting this whatever the hell it is comes up, how many people will give a damn or even remember? Hint: The number is <1.
Tuesday -- So Brewski thinks there are problems with the strength of the dollar? I wonder how he explains the fact 10-year T-Bills have a real rate (face vaule minus inflation) of LESS THAN ZERO! That's right -- other countries that buy T-Bills are, in effect, *paying* the US Treasury to hold their money.But, hey, Twinkies! Amirite, people?!
The way the duck is smiling, the "crystal ball" must be a decorative liquor bottle.
1. I think I like this new "weekly" format for the blog, since it makes the discussion threads longer and more interesting.2. While of course @David in NYC is correct that our currency is not in trouble, let me also point out that a falling dollar means that imports are more expensive and exports are cheaper. Right now we import too much and export too little. Just about the only thing we *need* to import is oil, and we really should do less of that. The only people really hurt by a falling dollar are those with heavy foreign investments, which is fine with me!
WEDNESDAYNo matter who the rapper is, they're Hate-Rappers to Mallard. Those teenagers who come to grade schools and rap about safety on the bus? When they say "Please be neat! / Stay in your seat! / Keep the aisle clear of feet!" he hears "Yo! Take drugs and be a brother! / Kill your dad and diss your mother! / And spit on a flag and set fire to another! Yo! Gang sign, yo!"ps: My system says the captcha is spelled incorrectly. Oh no!
Wednesday -- "Hate rapper"? Is this about Common, who performed at the WH a mere 20 months ago? Willow Smith performed there more recently -- is she a "hate rapper"?Brewski really has fallen down the rabbit hole, hasn't he?
I told you if you put a niggardlydefensespender in the WHITE house that Hate Rappers would be slumming on the White House Lawn with their Obama X Death to America rallies. Needless to say, some of us did not get the White Christmas we asked God for, so He must be punishing us for not being outraged enough.
I think the "hate rapper" meme circulating in the hate-o-sphere is PSY, a Korean angry about the death of Koreans in Iraq who rapped something years ago that he now apologizes for. His "Gangnam Style" is very popular, while GOP supporters Ted Nugent and Meatloaf can't even get a tour date at the Emerald Queen Casino.(I really am sad about Meatloaf; his "Bat Out Of Hell" is still one of my top 10 albums. But I suppose lots of people could have sung those lyrics well, they're so strong ... too bad he didn't take care of his voice and maybe have a chat with Springsteen about working people)
Oh, yeah, the PSY thing was about 4-6 weeks ago, wasn't it? Bruce Timely strikes again.Of course, as Monday's strip demonstrated, right-wingers are still holding grudges over stuff from the 1960s. So, y'know, there's that.
Guess Thursday's strip is one where you need your Wingnut Secret Decoder Ring.
THURSDAYWho better to rip the lid off the whole "Groundhog Day" boondoggle than Tinsley? Who would know better than somebody who pretty much hands in the same strip each day, with minor variations? The only major difference in approach between the strip and the movie is that Bill Murray's character learned something over the course of all those identical days.
Today (Thursday) Brews Tinshley complains about the death of the anti-American sponsor of terrorism Gadaffi, the impending fall of the torture czar Assad of Syria, and the fall of Cheney's torture partner Mubarak.This is both disgusting and unpatriotic. It's no surprise that today's "conservativism" is repulsive to the upcoming generation. The "Arab Spring" is as messy as our own Revolution (...which, after all, did get around to ending slavery for almost a hundred years and half a million deaths.) If today's reichwing has its way, totalitarian regimes would stay in power in the Arab world, because their supposed love of democracy is a sham.
I must say, the "prediction" format is pretty ingenious. As long as Bruce can keep it up (and his paymasters don't catch on), he can keep getting the same amount of money for doing half the amount of "work".* Keep livin' the dream, you worthless teat-sucker, you!*Say, just what is half of next to nothing, anyway?
FRIDAYI'm not sure what's more unwittingly self-revealing today: Tinsley's desperate need to believe in the stupidity of the average American voter, or the out-of-character fineness of detail and carefully crafted drawing of a more-attractive-than-life Honey Boo Boo. For long periods of time, I can make myself believe that his obsession with underage sexuality is something people here just made up, and then he goes and 'pulls' (pardon the expression) something like this — AGAIN — under the pretense of scolding those less cultured than himself.
That appears to be the explanation the right has settled upon for their electoral ass-kicking: People aren't listening to their propaganda. So they redefine information to mean only Fox News and Lord Lardbutt, and then claim it's "low-information voters" who voted against them.
Once again, Tinsley says that the majority of the people in this country are stupid. The question is, what does he want to do about it? Amend the constitution, so that there's an intelligence test involved before you can vote (because, if there is, most studies up to this point, IIRC, show that Republicans are generally dumber than democrats- at least on current events)? Armed revolution, setting up a ruling class in this country of people who think they're smarter than everybody else? (BTW, Bruce- Honey Boo Boo is probably watched as much, if not more, by republicans than Democrats- sorry.)That ranted, I also despair that, yes, it's like it's true that more Americans would recognize HBB over their Senator. But they'd probably recognize Obama and Romney over their Senator, too.
Friday's template: Something something pop culture reference something something stupid liberals. It practically writes itself, doesn't it?
Conversely, less people would recognize a picture of Mallard Failmore than they would any other cartoon character, including Sluggo, Dondi and Ferd'nand.Many times that number would be able to pick Bruce out of a police lineup based on personal experience.
While I'm not entirely sure what a "Honey Boo Boo" is (...I gather it's some sort of popular TV character...) a quick glance at Amazon shows that Honey Boo Boo outsells Mallard Fillmore. The Free Market Has Spoken!(Incidentally, the two most popular books containing the phrase "Mallard Fillmore" are Jon Stewart's book mocking it and "Neptune Noir", an analysis of "Veronica Mars" which mentions MF's strange fascination with the shows. Tinshley's two books have sales rankings indicating one or two copies sell each year.)
I do think that he has lost his marbles. Which is more humorous than his "comics".DW
So I guess we know what show Brews is watching now that Veronica Mars has been cancelled.
SATURDAYBy saying "New Jersey," Tinsley has automatically doubled the humor level of this strip. He is now as funny as 1.3 crutches.
SUNDAYThis is what happens when you try to live on gin and arugula jokes. Once again, Mallard spits on the charity of others because he doesn't get precisely what he wants from them. What's wrong with any of those other options, other than YOU KIDS GIT OFFA MY LAWN? Tinsley himself probably can't open a can of tuna.Mallard is a duck that eats chicken. Eh, I've seen more inappropriate things--like Donald Duck carving up a roast Christmas goose that probably once had a speaking role. It's actually kind of fitting, as we're talking about Mallard.Monday will tell if Tinsley returns to his Honey-Boo-Boo-bation Fixation, detailing his twisted fantasies involving midgets cross-dressing as underage "Pop Tarts." But it looks like we definitely have another week of "Predictions" before Tinsley has to look for something else to copypaste.
Is today's "comic" a metaphor for the GOP eating its own ... but it just can't figure out how?---Since Mallard said "Fried Chicken" I will point to Fried Chicken And Sushi, a webcomic about an American black teaching English in Japan. It has art and humor in it, balancing Mallard Fillmore nicely.
What "generation" is Mallard talking about? Bruce is 4 years older than I am, and I'm 50. I know how to make fried chicken. I have younger friends who can make fried chicken. How old is Mallard suppose to be?Oh, I also make a nice duck confit, so I'll be happy to invite mallard over for dinner.
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