What's Mallard raving about today?
University, censorship, book bans, speech codes, and ideological litmus tests, diversity.
Is it just me or does the fact that the students are hissing and booing censorship, book bans, speech codes, and ideological litmus tests make no sense in the presumed context of the panel? I'm guessing Mallard's thought it would be clear the students are booing the things which straw administrator is planning to censor and ban.
But that was just wishful thinking on his part, undermined by his lack of understanding of composition and the workings of the English language.
As it is, it's just reads like a nonsensical right-wing rant. And, thus, order returns to Mallard's universe.
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Friday, March 16, 2007
Thursday, March 15, 2007
Those damned Nigerian Princes
What's Mallard raving about today?
Kim Jong Il, Nigerian email scams.
Combine the threat of nuclear attack by the megalomaniacal leader of an Asian country with the inconvenience of Nigerian email scams and you've got COMEDY GOLD!
Seriously, Mallard is excessively put out by those emails, isn't he? And with every passing reference, he further cements his reputation for being a bitter crank.
Kim Jong Il, Nigerian email scams.
Combine the threat of nuclear attack by the megalomaniacal leader of an Asian country with the inconvenience of Nigerian email scams and you've got COMEDY GOLD!
Seriously, Mallard is excessively put out by those emails, isn't he? And with every passing reference, he further cements his reputation for being a bitter crank.
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Those damned thumbs
What's Mallard raving about today?
Blackberry thumbs.
Hauersperger? That's quite a fake name.
But what I really don't understand is how liberals and/or the media are responsible for the scourge of Blackberry Thumb.
That, and what the hell is happening to Mallard Fillmore these days. It's becoming positively quotidian.
Blackberry thumbs.
Hauersperger? That's quite a fake name.
But what I really don't understand is how liberals and/or the media are responsible for the scourge of Blackberry Thumb.
That, and what the hell is happening to Mallard Fillmore these days. It's becoming positively quotidian.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Those damned toes
What's Mallard raving about today?
Celebrities and those taking an interest in their lives.
Lordy, lordy, lordy...
It's not the continuing rant about celebrity.
It's not the fact that the panel is dripping with contempt for the average American.
It's the fact that the old lady's toes are the source of the thought balloon in the first panel.
Celebrities and those taking an interest in their lives.
Lordy, lordy, lordy...
It's not the continuing rant about celebrity.
It's not the fact that the panel is dripping with contempt for the average American.
It's the fact that the old lady's toes are the source of the thought balloon in the first panel.
Monday, March 12, 2007
That damned hair
What's Mallard raving about today?
Britney Spears' hair.
Everyone knew it was coming, but now that it's here, I have to confess I am really not looking forward to the upcoming series of out-of-date Britney Spears and Anna Nichole Smith references.
Britney Spears' hair.
Everyone knew it was coming, but now that it's here, I have to confess I am really not looking forward to the upcoming series of out-of-date Britney Spears and Anna Nichole Smith references.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Those damned hippos
What's Mallard raving about today?
Hippos, the culture war, physchobabblers.
After a week of mildness, it's nice to see Mallard back on track with a standard bit of sophistry today. The combination of straw man liberal, a straw man argument, and a series of hot-button code words into something completely incoherent which will appeal to the lunatic fringe.
I confess, however, that I do enjoy the image of Mallard coming across a factoid about deaths-by-hippo and thinking to himself "How can I use this against liberals?"
Hippos, the culture war, physchobabblers.
After a week of mildness, it's nice to see Mallard back on track with a standard bit of sophistry today. The combination of straw man liberal, a straw man argument, and a series of hot-button code words into something completely incoherent which will appeal to the lunatic fringe.
I confess, however, that I do enjoy the image of Mallard coming across a factoid about deaths-by-hippo and thinking to himself "How can I use this against liberals?"
Saturday, March 10, 2007
That damned Starbucks
What's Mallard raving about today?
Starbucks.
Chrysler = cheap. A cup of Starbucks = expensive.
Or at least that's what I presume he's trying to say.
In point of fact, nothing prevents me from taking a tiny amount of money from my home-equity line of credit if I am really craving an Iced Mocha Wussachino.
I sincerely hope this series of, essentially, knock-knock jokes is done.
Starbucks.
Chrysler = cheap. A cup of Starbucks = expensive.
Or at least that's what I presume he's trying to say.
In point of fact, nothing prevents me from taking a tiny amount of money from my home-equity line of credit if I am really craving an Iced Mocha Wussachino.
I sincerely hope this series of, essentially, knock-knock jokes is done.
Friday, March 09, 2007
That damned auto maker
What's Mallard raving about today?
Chrysler corporation.
I keep wishing this was a 50 Cent joke in some way, but I think it's just Mallard saying Chrysler is in financial trouble.
Which definitely makes this panel an early favorite for 2007's Least Necessary Comment Award.
Chrysler corporation.
I keep wishing this was a 50 Cent joke in some way, but I think it's just Mallard saying Chrysler is in financial trouble.
Which definitely makes this panel an early favorite for 2007's Least Necessary Comment Award.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
That damned baseball
What's Mallard raving about today?
Baseball.
Dear God, I found today's panel understated, charming, and mildly humorous. What's more, the artwork contributes positively to the overall effect.
Been nice knowing you all, apparently the world is going to end soon.
Baseball.
Dear God, I found today's panel understated, charming, and mildly humorous. What's more, the artwork contributes positively to the overall effect.
Been nice knowing you all, apparently the world is going to end soon.
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Those damned pop culture references
What's Mallard raving about today?
Joe Biden, Anna Nicole Smith, Britney Spears.
Hoo! Ha! Man, that Mallard, he is so down with the pop culture! Only thing is, I don't understand why Kelsey Grammar appears in this panel.
Joe Biden, Anna Nicole Smith, Britney Spears.
Hoo! Ha! Man, that Mallard, he is so down with the pop culture! Only thing is, I don't understand why Kelsey Grammar appears in this panel.
Tuesday, March 06, 2007
That damned Joe Biden
What's Mallard raving about today?
Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Joe Biden.
I guess it's just to much to ask for Mallard to actually look at a picture of a person before attempting a caricature. Unless that's all part of the meta-text of this particular joke. This is actually a picture of no one in particular but we're all willing to accept that it might as well be Joe Biden.
Then again, it's possible this is as close as Mallard wants to come to commenting on Biden's ill-chosen comments regarding Barack Obama. Though that would show a level of decorum I doubt he actually possesses.
Update: Thanks to the commenter for correcting my spelling of "Barack". As I was saying to someone the other day in response to a question of what I though of Senator Obama: I refuse to pay attention until next year some time. Apparently that extends to learning how to spell his name.
Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, Joe Biden.
I guess it's just to much to ask for Mallard to actually look at a picture of a person before attempting a caricature. Unless that's all part of the meta-text of this particular joke. This is actually a picture of no one in particular but we're all willing to accept that it might as well be Joe Biden.
Then again, it's possible this is as close as Mallard wants to come to commenting on Biden's ill-chosen comments regarding Barack Obama. Though that would show a level of decorum I doubt he actually possesses.
Update: Thanks to the commenter for correcting my spelling of "Barack". As I was saying to someone the other day in response to a question of what I though of Senator Obama: I refuse to pay attention until next year some time. Apparently that extends to learning how to spell his name.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Those damned Clintons
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Clinton, Senator Clinton.
I wish that, as part of my job, I could also invent scenarios out of whole cloth that made my job easier. "That software was released last week, that's why I am playing solitaire."
I have to confess that first panel really threw me, however. Given that the rest of the panel is completely explicit in referencing the Clintons. I was trying to pull from memory some cookie-baking incident or massage that into a fat joke.
Then I realized Mallard substituted this for "didn't inhale" for reasons passing understanding.
President Clinton, Senator Clinton.
I wish that, as part of my job, I could also invent scenarios out of whole cloth that made my job easier. "That software was released last week, that's why I am playing solitaire."
I have to confess that first panel really threw me, however. Given that the rest of the panel is completely explicit in referencing the Clintons. I was trying to pull from memory some cookie-baking incident or massage that into a fat joke.
Then I realized Mallard substituted this for "didn't inhale" for reasons passing understanding.
Sunday, March 04, 2007
Those damned kids
What's Mallard raving about today?
Video games, kids, hooligans.
In my attempt to ignore today's cutting edge humor (oh boy, kids today...are they ever better than grown-ups at the video games!), I unfortunately came face-to-face with the realization that Mallard may have procreated.
The absurdity of the fact that a duck sired a vaguely ethic child does not in any way ameliorate my feelings of nausea.
Video games, kids, hooligans.
In my attempt to ignore today's cutting edge humor (oh boy, kids today...are they ever better than grown-ups at the video games!), I unfortunately came face-to-face with the realization that Mallard may have procreated.
The absurdity of the fact that a duck sired a vaguely ethic child does not in any way ameliorate my feelings of nausea.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
That damned book
What's Mallard raving about today?
The Sixties generation, self-absorption.
I hate to break it to you, Mallard, but the fact that the Sixties generation straw man is not paying attention to you has nothing to do with self-absorption.
You're boring and most of us have stopped paying attention by now.
The Sixties generation, self-absorption.
I hate to break it to you, Mallard, but the fact that the Sixties generation straw man is not paying attention to you has nothing to do with self-absorption.
You're boring and most of us have stopped paying attention by now.
Friday, March 02, 2007
That damned hippie
What's Mallard raving about today?
Baby-boomers, hippies.
Stinging criticism, coming from a dittohead.
Baby-boomers, hippies.
Stinging criticism, coming from a dittohead.
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