What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers, Western Civilization.
Lacking anything actually worth complaining about, Mallard trots out a favorite Straw Man.
Project Wonderful Banner
Saturday, April 30, 2011
Friday, April 29, 2011
That damned Syllogism
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers, Unions
Mallard Fillmore, not believing he sufficiently made his point yesterday, repeats himself. Only this time, instead of inventing Emailers who agree with him, he creates a Straw Man who does not agree with him.
Teachers, Unions
Mallard Fillmore, not believing he sufficiently made his point yesterday, repeats himself. Only this time, instead of inventing Emailers who agree with him, he creates a Straw Man who does not agree with him.
Thursday, April 28, 2011
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
That damned Law
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers.
The sad thing about the law is that "merit" is defined in large part by students test scores. Because nothing says "good teacher" quite like slavishly training students to take a standardized test.
Does anyone recall what happened the last time a paragon of Republican ideology made reforms which led to skyrocketing test scores?
What could possibly go wrong this time?
Teachers.
The sad thing about the law is that "merit" is defined in large part by students test scores. Because nothing says "good teacher" quite like slavishly training students to take a standardized test.
Does anyone recall what happened the last time a paragon of Republican ideology made reforms which led to skyrocketing test scores?
What could possibly go wrong this time?
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
What's Mallard raving about today?
Dick Morris
Days after chastising elitists who are so out of touch that they don't shop at Walmart, we find Mallard Fillmore complaining about Dick Morris' publication schedule.
Dick Morris
Days after chastising elitists who are so out of touch that they don't shop at Walmart, we find Mallard Fillmore complaining about Dick Morris' publication schedule.
Monday, April 25, 2011
That damned Trump
What's Mallard raving about today?
Donald Trump
The Association of Editorial Cartoonists...an association which, based on this caricature, would not allow Mallard membership.
Seriously, without the text, I would have had no idea who that was supposed to be. How can someone who gets paid to draw be this bad at it?
Donald Trump
The Association of Editorial Cartoonists...an association which, based on this caricature, would not allow Mallard membership.
Seriously, without the text, I would have had no idea who that was supposed to be. How can someone who gets paid to draw be this bad at it?
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Easter
Happy Easter, everyone.
If you feel like observing someone acting pious when they exemplify the antithesis of Jesus Christ's teaching the rest of the year, feel free to visit Mallard Fillmore.
If you feel like observing someone acting pious when they exemplify the antithesis of Jesus Christ's teaching the rest of the year, feel free to visit Mallard Fillmore.
Saturday, April 23, 2011
That damned Walmart
What's Mallard raving about today?
Himself, Walmart, The Media
Not content to simply get his job back, Mallard must milk his delusions of grandeur for several days. Remember: a grand total of 14 people want Mallard back.
Himself, Walmart, The Media
Not content to simply get his job back, Mallard must milk his delusions of grandeur for several days. Remember: a grand total of 14 people want Mallard back.
Friday, April 22, 2011
That damned Information
What's Mallard raving about today?
Fox, Mallard, Information.
Panel 1: Boss, our viewers say Mallard Fillmore gave them information they didn't get from other networks. None of it was true, but it upheld their prejudices and gave some validity to their darker impulses, so it made them feel better.
Panel 2: I prefer our current "copy other networks news judgement" policy. After all, now that we're a wholly owned subsidiary of GE, we don't have any actual reporters of our own. They might, after all, report on things GE does not approve of.
Panel 3: I didn't know about that.
Panel 4: Surely you didn't think our "ignore whatever Fox is reporting" policy was our only policy? That policy only helps us avoid reporting blatant falsehoods.
Fox, Mallard, Information.
Panel 1: Boss, our viewers say Mallard Fillmore gave them information they didn't get from other networks. None of it was true, but it upheld their prejudices and gave some validity to their darker impulses, so it made them feel better.
Panel 2: I prefer our current "copy other networks news judgement" policy. After all, now that we're a wholly owned subsidiary of GE, we don't have any actual reporters of our own. They might, after all, report on things GE does not approve of.
Panel 3: I didn't know about that.
Panel 4: Surely you didn't think our "ignore whatever Fox is reporting" policy was our only policy? That policy only helps us avoid reporting blatant falsehoods.
Thursday, April 21, 2011
That damned Percentage
What's Mallard raving asbout today?
Himself, TV News.
It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I will always confess to it: While I would not say I found today's Mallard Fillmore funny per se, I recognized a joke in the effort.
Himself, TV News.
It doesn't happen often, but when it does, I will always confess to it: While I would not say I found today's Mallard Fillmore funny per se, I recognized a joke in the effort.
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
That damned Mail
What's Mallard raving about today?
The Media, Himself.
Hey everyone, guess what? Mallard suddenly remembered that he's unemployed!
But don't worry, popular demand will bring him back to his job.
The Media, Himself.
Hey everyone, guess what? Mallard suddenly remembered that he's unemployed!
But don't worry, popular demand will bring him back to his job.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
That damned Addiction
What's Mallard raving about today?
Starlets.
The only reason it works, Mallard, is because lackwits such as yourself sit in front of the TV and watch, rather than doing something else with their time.
I understand that, in your particular case, you literally have nothing better to do. However, you can't then blame someone else for something which is your fault.
Starlets.
The only reason it works, Mallard, is because lackwits such as yourself sit in front of the TV and watch, rather than doing something else with their time.
I understand that, in your particular case, you literally have nothing better to do. However, you can't then blame someone else for something which is your fault.
Monday, April 18, 2011
That damned Sign
What's Mallard raving about today?
Foreign Policy
I'm sorry, now we're against removing Saddam Hussein from power? Little late, isn't it?
For what it's worth, Castro can breath easier now that the Mallard doctrine has been established. Hugo Chavez also.
Honestly, the extraordinary contortion ability Republicans demonstrate when discussing Foreign Policy under a Democratic President make me wonder why they ever leave the house.
Foreign Policy
I'm sorry, now we're against removing Saddam Hussein from power? Little late, isn't it?
For what it's worth, Castro can breath easier now that the Mallard doctrine has been established. Hugo Chavez also.
Honestly, the extraordinary contortion ability Republicans demonstrate when discussing Foreign Policy under a Democratic President make me wonder why they ever leave the house.
Sunday, April 17, 2011
That damned Memo
What's Mallard Fillmore raving about today?
Compact Fluorescent Bulbs
Mallard Fillmore: Fuck the planet if I have to suffer even the slightest inconvenience.
By the way, Mallard Fillmore claims to be a Christian, a religion in which Man was assigned stewardship of the Earth. Just thought that was worth pointing out.
Compact Fluorescent Bulbs
Mallard Fillmore: Fuck the planet if I have to suffer even the slightest inconvenience.
By the way, Mallard Fillmore claims to be a Christian, a religion in which Man was assigned stewardship of the Earth. Just thought that was worth pointing out.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
That damned Message
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, Foreign Policy
Standard Republican response to a Democratic President doing their favorite thing (going to war) is to make up reasons why, under this President it's just a bad idea.
I've said it before and I will say it again, I do not understand how Republicans live with the day-to-day cognitive dissonance of being Republican.
Also, can't wait for the comment troll to come and accuse us of supporting wars under Obama, despite the fact that there's no evidence available for that.
President Obama, Foreign Policy
Standard Republican response to a Democratic President doing their favorite thing (going to war) is to make up reasons why, under this President it's just a bad idea.
I've said it before and I will say it again, I do not understand how Republicans live with the day-to-day cognitive dissonance of being Republican.
Also, can't wait for the comment troll to come and accuse us of supporting wars under Obama, despite the fact that there's no evidence available for that.
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