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Sunday, April 17, 2011

That damned Memo

What's Mallard Fillmore raving about today?

Compact Fluorescent Bulbs

Mallard Fillmore: Fuck the planet if I have to suffer even the slightest inconvenience.

By the way, Mallard Fillmore claims to be a Christian, a religion in which Man was assigned stewardship of the Earth. Just thought that was worth pointing out.

13 comments:

Marion Diabolito said...

It's only thanks to the new-fangled compact fluorescent bulb that Bruce has run out of ideas. The incandescent ideas would go off before the 16th beer, beating the slump-in-the-chair-unconscious deadline

Tog said...

"By the way, Mallard Fillmore claims to be a Christian, a religion in which Man was assigned stewardship of the Earth."

NO! WRONG! WE WUZ GI'EN DOMINION OVAR THE EARF! THAT DIFFERNT! THAT MEENZ WE CAN DU WATEVER WE WANT TO IT! YAY DADDY I SPECIEL!

Say, Bruce, how's the weather treating you? Thank God Climate Change isn't real/man-made, right?

Randy said...

Well, yeah, but that's Man. This is Duck, so screw your stewardship! Boo-yah!

WV: propr - Tinshley can't even draw his own fingers propr.

Neo Tuxedo said...

TOGGG! beat me to it:

"By the way, Mallard Fillmore claims to be a Christian, a religion in which Man was assigned stewardship of the Earth."

NO! WRONG! WE WUZ GI'EN DOMINION OVAR THE EARF! THAT DIFFERNT! THAT MEENZ WE CAN DU WATEVER WE WANT TO IT! YAY DADDY I SPECIEL!


The only thing I have to add to that is that Ann Coulter said basically Tog's second paragraph on Hannity and colmes: "God gave us the earth. We have dominion over the plants, the animals, the trees. God said, 'Earth is yours. Take it. Rape it. It's yours.'"

That's right, she actually used a rape metaphor. Is it any wonder some people question whether she's biologically female?

Kip W said...

What's the problem? If the light comes on within two weeks, it's still too fast for Mallard.

rewinn said...

I vote for moving the "comic" outdoors. Mallard is clearly suffering from Nature-Deficit Disorder.

Bill the Splut said...

I found an old CFL bulb in the closet, and it takes a tedious whole half-second to light up. Thus, the first 6 panels in today's strip equal about 0.083 seconds of time.

On the plus side, this is the first Sunday strip he's done in months that wasn't one panel. On the other hand, 3 of the panels are blank, and 2 are identical. If he puts as much effort into wiping his ass that he puts into this strip, his boxers must be infested with dung beetles.

Steve-O said...

Is this really what right-wingers are concerned about, CFL's? Really? Aren't there a million, nay a billion, more important things they could be concerned with or, you know, working to fix? But noooooo, they'd rather sit around and watch Fox News and bitch about the evil liberals. "Whaaaa, those fucking tree-huggers want me to wait a millisecond for my light to come on!!!". Do they realize how petty and downright asinine they sound?

(I say "they" because I assume this is some kind of new right-wing talking point that Tinsley has latched onto given his complete inability to be original)

Tog said...

We all had a good yuk at Batshit's series of paranoid "Obama sent the IRS back through time to persecute me because I speak truth to power!!" strips. However, he's behind the times (as usual); the hot teabagger thing now is attacking the GOP as political assassins:

(quote from Crooks and Liars)

On his radio show today, Glenn Beck claimed that the Republican Party is out to politically assassinate him, Sarah Palin, and Michele Bachmann...

Beck said, "May I just, I mean they’re going to call me a conspiracy theorist, but let’s go on a little conspiracy here, and I don’t claim to know what it is, and maybe it’s all coincidental, but I don’t believe in coincidence. I think there’s something happening with the Republicans and the right that is disturbing. There was a time when Republicans and the right if you will didn’t mind the Tea Party. They used them as fuel, but if you’ll notice Michele Bachmann is now enemy number one. Michelle Bachmann is being discredited like I haven’t seen before, and they’ve tried for a while, but like I haven’t seen before. Even those in Congress are distancing themselves from the Tea Party and the caucus, and you can make excuses and maybe some of them are valid, maybe."

He floated his conspiracy theory that the GOP was out to politically assassinate himself, Bachmann and Palin, "Sarah Palin has always been pilloried by the left, but have you noticed the right and how she’s being pilloried? The same with me. The same with CPAC. Are decks being cleared? Is it just a coincidence, or is the 2012 presidential election raising its head now, and anyone who talks about freedom, or is a real wild card that could hurt the party, are they being politically assassinated at this point?"


(end quote)

Batshit regularly snuffles Beck's crotch, so no wonder he's paranoid. I predict great fun in a couple of weeks, if the people holding Tinsley's leash don't yank it too tight. (Meanwhile, in relevant political commentary, Trudeau did a wonderful job of spanking The Hairpile in public. U JELLY, BRUCE?)

Mike said...

CFLs are fairly instantaneous; I've never noticed a delay in mine. Maybe Mallard lives in an abandoned warehouse?

MartyRotten said...

I've been using CFL's for about five years now and have had to change them a Hell of a lot less than the old fashioned types. So what's Tinsley so upset about? That they're good for the environment?

Frank Stone said...

I understand being in a perpetual state of inebriation can affect one's perception of the passage of time.

Anonymous said...

Tinsley wants to kill polar bears. Dumb Republican.