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Wednesday, April 20, 2011

That damned Mail

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, Himself.

Hey everyone, guess what? Mallard suddenly remembered that he's unemployed!

But don't worry, popular demand will bring him back to his job.

18 comments:

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

There were a lot of viewers desperate for the return of the alcoholic duck who glowers disdainfully while spewing hatred for pretty much everyone in the world? Color me skeptical!

Tog said...

IT'S A NEW DIRECTION FOR MALLARD FILLMORE! (If "right back to the way things were" is a direction.)

Just look at that damned liberal media-controlling Jew! He's...uh, hiring a wrong-wing pundit. WITH HIS STOOPIT COMPASSION*!!!1 DO THESE JEWS NOT FEAR THE MURDERING KENYAN SOCIALIST WITH HIS TO-DOOM LIST AND BLACK PANTHER STORMTROOPERS????!?? WHO TOOK MY MEDS???

*Kinda like that Jay Kennedy fella what done gave Tinsley his big chance. Pft, liberals. IDIOTS.

Uh-oh, time's making a fool of Tinsley again! Remember what got Mallard fired in the first place? Charges of intolerance, which of course were trumped up because REPUBLICANS ARE NOT RACIST YOU ARE.

Now let's watch Tinsley completely ignore GOP official Marilyn Davenport's oh-so-hilarious e-mail picture portraying Obama as the child of chimpanzees.

Davenport: "I am not a racist." Uh-huh.

Anonymous said...

He's right about one thing: our local paper continues to ignore the many letters to the Editor suggesting that the MF strip should be canned.

dlauthor said...

Dear Bruce: receiving a few emails saying "ENOUGH PANTSLESS DUCK CROTCH DRAWINGS ALREADY" is not a concerted plea for reinstating Mallard's employment.

It is a demand for the cessation of your own.

Marion Delgado said...

I agree with all of Bruce's talking points: First, it's true the media is so monopolized by anti-business pro socialists that only W-FDR would be moderate enough that they'd take on a moderate independent like Mallard.

And hey, Bruce is unemployed. He just doodles like he did in junior high school, and yet, he makes ends meet. Our unemployed are like the very rich in other countries where they have death panels.

b said...

...And so ends the epic saga of Unemployed Mallard. Maybe he'll get Glenn Beck's timeslot!

I think that this is as tacit an admission as we'll ever get: even Bruce realizes his ilk are only employed as wingnut welfare. I'm sure all his unemployed readers in the real world can relate to his "Jobs magically fall into your lap" work ethic.

WV: ptinglyt: Sorry, I forgot to tell a WV joke.

rewinn said...

The CEOs shipped the good jobs overseas.

The bankers crashed our economy.

Mallard Fillmore thinks unemployment is the fault of liberal attacks on conservatives.

DIR said...

To paraphrase, and with apologies to Stan Freeburg, "We're received numerous card and and letter, and countless phone call, demanding more."

patedefoiegras said...

Somehow, I get the feeling that most of Mallard's off-time was spent creating a bunch of email accounts to send the station "bring Mallard back!" hate mail.

Let's be honest, the only other person who would do that is Concernanonatrollward, and he can hardly put together a coherent sentence for ONE post.

Kip W said...

He was a bad reporter and a terrible co-worker. Hiring him back would be idiotic, but just this once, Noseworthy thinks 'why not?' And this, kids, is how the idiot plot is moved forward.

DIR, I liked David Frye (rest in peace) on Radio Free Nixon, during the call-in segment: "Oh, I wish you could see it! The board is lighting up like a bulb on a Christmas tree!"

Tog said...

I enjoy "Dilbert" (and can't begin to fathom how anyone who works outside the home doesn't find it hilarious, but different strokes and whatnot) but wow, Scott really displayed his "genius" in blatantly obvious sock-puppet stalking (and subsequent unduly-proud confession to same).

Funny how everyone with a comic blog (including other comic artists, even the equally-douchebaggy-for-different-reasons Jeffrey Rowland) is getting their licks in on Adams (fair enough) but nobody gives a damn that Tinsley's doing it here.

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

Wait, WHY do we hate Jeffrey Rowland? All I know is that I like both his comics. And...I bow to none in my dislike of Tinsley, but how is he engaging in sockpuppetry? I don't get it.

Tog said...

Oh no, sir, I'm not going to get into a fight, not over Jeffy. He's quite vocally proud of his personal douchebaggery; I'll leave it at that. I enjoy Overcompensating and WIGU as much as I enjoy Dilbert. It takes some Scott Kurtz-grade assholishness to make me dump a strip.

(...Now someone will demand to know what's so bad about Kurtz. Simple fact is, a lot of strips shouldn't have blogs attached to them. I'd say a good seventy-five percent of the artists whose strips I read daily are dirtbags, maladjusted psychos, closet fascists, and/or drama-weens who have huge public meltdowns over the gentlest criticism. Certainly equally-unbalanced fanboys contribute to their mental state, but hey---that's life and we all deal with it as we choose. Look at what we're doing!)

I've said in the past it's a damn sure bet that Nick/Rick/Prick and assorted anons are Tinsley himself. Could be wrong of course, but I hate to even imagine someone else going to such lengths to defend Tinsley's horseshit. It's just too sad. Tinsley sockpuppeting is the LESS SAD option. And that itself is sad too.

Rootbeer said...

Small children don't want to see more of Kevin Clash on Sesame Street; they want to see more Elmo. People love watching Peanut the Woozle; nobody loves Jeff Dunham.

The WFDR viewers know who they want to see, and that's Sheaf of Paper. That duck's presence, if necessary, is a minimally tolerable means to an end.

By the way, who is that woman?

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

Fight? Who's trying to start a fight? I just asked a question. However, given the facts that A) I've never heard anything like this before; B) the idea certainly clashes with the content of his comics and blog post; and C) given how "vocally proud" he is, I'm sure having trouble finding examples of this even when I'm specifically looking for them--well, I can't really find any good reason to buy this accusation.

Kip W said...

Do the anonymous commenters really defend Tinsley? I just thought they wanted to come here and insult liberals.

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

If you'll recall, Tinsley actually posted here under his real name once, about how, as libruls, we should be displaying compassion for his drunk-driving incident(s) instead of lambasting him for it. I kind of doubt that he does sockpuppetry here, but the idea that it was Tisnley himself challenging me to a fistfight is pretty hilarious.

Anonymous said...

How does getting dropped by one outlet make Bruce unemployed by the other 300-odd papers?