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Saturday, April 02, 2011

That damned Nose

What's Mallard raving about today?


Right, Mallard. It's your nose that turns women away from you.


Tog said...

Mallard's former (and possibly current again, who the hell knows) co-workers converse with him as an equal, and one of them even dates him, despite the fact that he is one of nature's most disgusting animals (and a duck to boot).

Mallard and Tinsley respond with self-pity and sneering contempt, except for brief moments of feigned civility serving their selfish ends.

Hey, Merriam-Webster. That's the best possible definition of "loser," right there.

Kaitlyn said...

I'd rather he didn't talk about beauty standards if he doesn't understand them.

I know, he doesn't understand anything, but god. It's not about you! Just because you don't think it affects you doesn't mean you should belittle it.

Preaching to the choir here, I guess.

So. I'm taking bets about the next time he mentions Libya - will it be things written 2 weeks ago about how Obama won't save the Libyan oil or will it be from a week ago about how this is bad. Or will it be "Yeah, bomb Libya!" on Monday and "Intervening in other countries' problems is bad" on Tuesday.

Kaitlyn said...

A random note - Mallard makes me question my geese hatred. Geese are assholes - the ones at one park would knock ducks out of the way because that was their bread, dammit.

But then again, there is not a poorly drawn goose in the newspaper every day.

Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

Well, the title character from Mother Goose and Grimm isn't exactly brilliantly rendered.

Kip W said...

Mallard makes a joke about how poorly and unrealistically he's drawn. Didn't see that coming.

Beef Wellington said...

Mallard is a true rebel, He says no to hollywoods beauty and body standards by being fat,lazy and stupid.

Steve-O said...


It's funny because Tinsley's such a dumbfuck that he doesn't realize that ducks don't have noses, they have bills.

He can't even get this lame-ass attempt at humor correct.

CW in LA said...

If the Tinsh didn't absolutely refuse to read anything that didn't confirm what he's already made up his mind about, I'd wonder if he was trying to crib off Berke Breathed: Penguins have beaks rather than bills, but Breathed's Opus was worried about the size of his "nose" to the point of getting plastic surgery once.

rewinn said...

Bruce Tinshley's complaining because some lady on TV says our culture has unrealistic beauty standards?

To whom is this rather commonplace observation a threat? Is Brewsky trying to become the champion of bleached anorexic women with artificially enhanced CCC cups against the raging hoards of ordinary women who oppress them?

The most charitable explanation is that he's just a complainer.

Another explanation is that Mrs. Tinsley is off having fun with Chantel ... and I say good for them!


P.S. isn't it a good thing that there's nothing in the news worth commenting on - from Libya to Japan, an uneventful world!

Marion Delgado said...

Besides, if you want to talk "arbitrary standards," FemiNazis, what about that blood alcohol bullshit? hanh?

Marion Delgado said...

Kaitlyn, I raised geese, they're like a very protective dog. Ours used to bully the ducks and we couldn't get them to stop 100%. Eventually the gander (we believed, since he was the biggest bully) killed one of the ducks (but only after we'd had them together in the same yard for about 3 years) and that led to him going on Death Row, because we already had enough geese. That said, they liked being hugged and petted by "their" people, and they are great watch-birds, as the Romans said.

The ducks are at least outwardly much stupider and very passive indeed. They hunch down and grumble when there's trouble. They're the Pluggers of the domesticated waterfowl world. Or the Gandhis, I guess.

WV: Fictuai The title of Mallard Fillmore in Brazilian papers

Marion Delgado said...

Beef Wellington:

"Son, being Mallard Filmore is no way to go through life!" - Dean Wormer