What's Mallard raving about today?
Barack Obama, Joe Biden.
Typical Mallard. Horse crap setup. Botched follow through.
Horse crap setup: Joe Biden committed plagiarism.
Botched follow through: Inaugural address? What about his Acceptance Speech? Do I have to write this stuff for you, Mallard?
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Monday, September 15, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
That damned Race Card
What's Mallard raving about today?
Playing the Race Card
While a welcome respite from his ongoing anti-teacher rant, today's Mallard Fillmore is not a respite from his making no sense at all.
I'm seeing the need to add a new Golden Ellipse category this year: Worst Metaphor.
Playing the Race Card
While a welcome respite from his ongoing anti-teacher rant, today's Mallard Fillmore is not a respite from his making no sense at all.
I'm seeing the need to add a new Golden Ellipse category this year: Worst Metaphor.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
That damned busy work
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers, Busy Work.
I suppose we can sympathize with Mallard here.
After all, his concept of "work" is to stop watching Fox News, write down the last thing Bill O'Reilly said, paste some previously-used drawings of himself next to the text, and mail it off to be published.
Total elapsed time: 3 minutes.
Teachers, Busy Work.
I suppose we can sympathize with Mallard here.
After all, his concept of "work" is to stop watching Fox News, write down the last thing Bill O'Reilly said, paste some previously-used drawings of himself next to the text, and mail it off to be published.
Total elapsed time: 3 minutes.
Friday, September 12, 2008
That damned pedagogy
What's Mallard raving about today?
Numbers, Teachers.
Mallard has apparently convinced himself that he was taught in the pedagogical equivalent of a Dickensian Workhouse.
Publishers are actually giving newspaper space to one person's bitter personal rantings. That space couldn't be put to a better purpose? Like an ad? Or a black box?
Numbers, Teachers.
Mallard has apparently convinced himself that he was taught in the pedagogical equivalent of a Dickensian Workhouse.
Publishers are actually giving newspaper space to one person's bitter personal rantings. That space couldn't be put to a better purpose? Like an ad? Or a black box?
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Those damned Numbers
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers, Numbers, Communism.
At this point, we've crossed the line into Right-Wing Dadaism.
Mallard is offended by being asked to do something correctly twice, as if doing it correctly once proves that you've mastered it and can henceforth forget it entirely.
Mallard assertion that his teachers made him do something until "everyone else can do it" is clearly fabricated nonsense...and a pretty pathetic fabrication at that.
What repetition has to do with Communism, I have no idea, although I suspect it is the final meta-absurdity since the panel makes the same amount of sense no matter what Right Wing bête noire you substitute in for Communism.
Teachers, Numbers, Communism.
At this point, we've crossed the line into Right-Wing Dadaism.
Mallard is offended by being asked to do something correctly twice, as if doing it correctly once proves that you've mastered it and can henceforth forget it entirely.
Mallard assertion that his teachers made him do something until "everyone else can do it" is clearly fabricated nonsense...and a pretty pathetic fabrication at that.
What repetition has to do with Communism, I have no idea, although I suspect it is the final meta-absurdity since the panel makes the same amount of sense no matter what Right Wing bête noire you substitute in for Communism.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
That damned Relativism
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers.
Mallard remembers his teachers thoughts?
The image of a telepathic Mallard is unsettling as hell. Sociopathic or psychopathic, sure.
But the idea that Mallard is reading my mind right now...I have to go put on my tin foil hat.
Teachers.
Mallard remembers his teachers thoughts?
The image of a telepathic Mallard is unsettling as hell. Sociopathic or psychopathic, sure.
But the idea that Mallard is reading my mind right now...I have to go put on my tin foil hat.
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
That damned desk
What's Mallard raving about today?
Grading curves, teachers, unions.
Not only that, but Mallard's school bussed white kids into the inner duck pond schools.
Grading curves, teachers, unions.
Not only that, but Mallard's school bussed white kids into the inner duck pond schools.
Monday, September 08, 2008
That damned Latin
What's Mallard raving about today?
Grading Curves.
I apologize profusely, for yesterday's post. Mallard's failure to achieve the grades he felt he deserved was not exclusively the fault of his teachers. The grading curve was also at fault.
I will further amend this tomorrow, when Mallard adds something else to the Great List of Blame.
Grading Curves.
I apologize profusely, for yesterday's post. Mallard's failure to achieve the grades he felt he deserved was not exclusively the fault of his teachers. The grading curve was also at fault.
I will further amend this tomorrow, when Mallard adds something else to the Great List of Blame.
Sunday, September 07, 2008
Those damned grades
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers.
For anyone who has been wondering why exactly Mallard hates teachers so much, he kindly answers that question today: his teachers requested critical thinking and gave him bad grades.
Clearly, they are hateful, spiteful people.
In no way could this have been any reflection on Mallard, who went on to prove them all wrong by becoming a talentless Right Wing water-carrier, whose exclusive mode of expression is to recite Republican Talking Points, and who has told fewer jokes in two years than I have digits on my left hand.
Teachers.
For anyone who has been wondering why exactly Mallard hates teachers so much, he kindly answers that question today: his teachers requested critical thinking and gave him bad grades.
Clearly, they are hateful, spiteful people.
In no way could this have been any reflection on Mallard, who went on to prove them all wrong by becoming a talentless Right Wing water-carrier, whose exclusive mode of expression is to recite Republican Talking Points, and who has told fewer jokes in two years than I have digits on my left hand.
Saturday, September 06, 2008
That damned irony
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers, Adjectives, Irony.
Now you're just wasting everyone's time inventing some lame criticism of teachers which has nothing to do with teaching.
Free yourself. Be proud of who you are. Take pen in hand and write "I fucking hate teachers" in big bold letters, ship that off to your syndicate, and be done with it.
Alternate observation: A Right Wing water-carrier who doesn't recognize irony? Next you'll tell me they are incapable of recognizing their own rank hypocrisy.
Teachers, Adjectives, Irony.
Now you're just wasting everyone's time inventing some lame criticism of teachers which has nothing to do with teaching.
Free yourself. Be proud of who you are. Take pen in hand and write "I fucking hate teachers" in big bold letters, ship that off to your syndicate, and be done with it.
Alternate observation: A Right Wing water-carrier who doesn't recognize irony? Next you'll tell me they are incapable of recognizing their own rank hypocrisy.
Friday, September 05, 2008
That damned thought
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers, Thinking for yourself.
Translating Mallard-Speak: "I prefer not to think for myself. Tell me what I think."
Teachers, Thinking for yourself.
Translating Mallard-Speak: "I prefer not to think for myself. Tell me what I think."
Thursday, September 04, 2008
Those damned stoners
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers, Communism.
Stoned for most of the 20th century? That guy was stoned for more than 50 years? The not-so-subtle message here, apparently, is that getting stoned keeps you looking awfully young.
In other news, Mallard hates teachers with an irrational passion. But he loves straw men because they are the only men against whom he can win an argument.
Teachers, Communism.
Stoned for most of the 20th century? That guy was stoned for more than 50 years? The not-so-subtle message here, apparently, is that getting stoned keeps you looking awfully young.
In other news, Mallard hates teachers with an irrational passion. But he loves straw men because they are the only men against whom he can win an argument.
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Those damned dates
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers, History.
Mallard believes Mathematics is best taught by doing the work for students. And he believes that understanding history is just about memorizing dates and locations.
It's becoming clear why Mallard hates teachers and Education so much...they were trying to force him to learn something, and that is one thing Mallard will not stand for.
Teachers, History.
Mallard believes Mathematics is best taught by doing the work for students. And he believes that understanding history is just about memorizing dates and locations.
It's becoming clear why Mallard hates teachers and Education so much...they were trying to force him to learn something, and that is one thing Mallard will not stand for.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
That damned explanation
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers.
I'd like to believe Mallard is being deliberately obtuse or disingenuous in order to reinforce his own, and his audiences', blind rage toward teachers.
More likely, Mallard is just this stupid.
After all, he's been trying to figure out cartooning on his own for years...and the evidence of that failed strategy is on full display today.
Teachers.
I'd like to believe Mallard is being deliberately obtuse or disingenuous in order to reinforce his own, and his audiences', blind rage toward teachers.
More likely, Mallard is just this stupid.
After all, he's been trying to figure out cartooning on his own for years...and the evidence of that failed strategy is on full display today.
Monday, September 01, 2008
Those damned answers
What's Mallard raving about today?
Teachers.
It has been fairly noted in the comments that it is becoming increasingly impossible to distinguish what the hell Mallard is complaining about when it comes to education. Not that Mallard has ever demonstrated coherence when raving, but in this case it's particularly schizoid.
He hates education standards today, but he's equally spiteful regarding education from 30 or 40 years ago.
I believe Mallard yearns for a good old-fashioned Prairie education, in which children copy Scripture passages onto slate boards and use an abacus to learn math before ceasing their education entirely at age 10 and going to work in the fields to help Pa.
This is how he plans to prepare American Youth for the challenges of the 21st Century.
Teachers.
It has been fairly noted in the comments that it is becoming increasingly impossible to distinguish what the hell Mallard is complaining about when it comes to education. Not that Mallard has ever demonstrated coherence when raving, but in this case it's particularly schizoid.
He hates education standards today, but he's equally spiteful regarding education from 30 or 40 years ago.
I believe Mallard yearns for a good old-fashioned Prairie education, in which children copy Scripture passages onto slate boards and use an abacus to learn math before ceasing their education entirely at age 10 and going to work in the fields to help Pa.
This is how he plans to prepare American Youth for the challenges of the 21st Century.
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