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Sunday, September 07, 2008

Those damned grades

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teachers.

For anyone who has been wondering why exactly Mallard hates teachers so much, he kindly answers that question today: his teachers requested critical thinking and gave him bad grades.

Clearly, they are hateful, spiteful people.

In no way could this have been any reflection on Mallard, who went on to prove them all wrong by becoming a talentless Right Wing water-carrier, whose exclusive mode of expression is to recite Republican Talking Points, and who has told fewer jokes in two years than I have digits on my left hand.

10 comments:

exanonymous said...

Ah, the standard pose that if asked to take a stand in something that he feels should be self-evident, he fails to create the coherent argument that would get him the better grade.

Next up, that Educational Bill of Rights BS which is based on fictional cases and imagined slights and basically sets precedent for any student receiving a bad grade to attack the professor's political position and use that as leverage to take undeserved grades. To be followed by whining about grade inflation and the suckiness of affirmative action.

It's the darndest thing but a kid didn't say it said...

I love how self-contradictory this is, with memorable teacher after memorable teacher seeking to expand his thinking with challenging counter-thoughts and intriguing concepts, only to have Millward Fatbuck categorize their expansive thought techniques as "linear".

Up is down, left is right, blah blah blah, take your soma.

ajm said...

Two things Bruce Tinsley clearly NEVER learned in school: resiliency and stoicism.

Frankie Machine said...

Bruce Tinsley, in high school, was the kid who would drive home for lunch and come back for fifth period smelling vaguely like beer. At some point after graduation, these same kids would find a beat-up copy of Ayn Rand in the breakroom of the grocery store where they were working, and suddenly think they were better than everyone else. Which is fine, I guess. I just wish they'd shut up.

David B said...

This is one of those that bugs me intensely not because it's so wrong-headed, but because it's an idea that could have been played well by a cartoonist with talent. I mean, Bill Watterson would have taken this setup and hit it out of the park (and maybe did--I haven't read his entire output). Tinsley just turns it into whining about his GPA.

Kaitlyn said...

He remembers his grades correctly, but he's not clear on what the teachers said in class. (Explains the grades.)

So he decides they were all stupid communists out to get him.

ajm said...

Forgive me if I've said this before, but Liviu Librescu and Kevin Granata are each worth a billion Mallard Fillmore straw-man teachers.

rewinn said...

So ... Tinsley was unable to come up with a reason why the USA is better than the USSR?

To exaplain why Shakespeare was better than the Beatles?

To think of why cannibalism is bad?

Kid, if you can't argue at least one of those points, a "D-minus" is too generous!

--

Seriously .... I don't think Tinsley is genuinely that dumb; he's simply such an authoritarian that he expects teachers to tell him what to think, rather than to make him think for himself.

12xuser said...

This just proves that Tinsley can't remember shit about his school or his teachers. He can't figure out why everybody else seems to know more than he knows, so he blames the teachers who failed to bend him over and cram him full of knowledge.

MartyRotten said...

He doesn't think Shakespeare is better than the Beatles?
He's read and understands Shakespeare? I find that really hard to believe.
We never read Shakespeare when I was in grade school (as he shows he was when he got his D Minus). I read some in high school mostly. He must have gone to a very advanced school.
So why does he hate his teachers so much>