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Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Meta-Post: Mallard Comment Codes

Based on a list started by NLC, with input from nonanonnotcow and gold-digging nanny, here is the list of Mallard Fillmore comment codes, for easy future reference:
1 - Has completely misquoted his "source".
2 - Has completely fabricated his fact/quote.
3 - Has utterly misunderstood the technical issue/science issue that he sites.
4 - Has clearly misrepresented the technical issue/science issue on purpose.
5 - Has used the same gag three days running.
6 - Has used the same gag four days running.
7 - Has used the same gag five days running.
8 - Has used the same gag six days running.
9 - Has used the same gag for a whole week or more.
10 - A character has his/her "speech balloon" coming out of an inappropriate part of his body.
11 - A character is drawn with one or more penis-shaped body part(s).
12 - Unrecognizable caricature.
13 - The bad liberal/union representative/feminist/etc is drawn as utterly physically repulsive.
14 - Simply retelling of a "blonde" joke using a different stereotype.
15 - Simple retread of "Joke #117 from the old-gags book".
16 - Self-aggrandizing (e.g. references to "all the letters he got", or the "his grass roots campaign" for some unknown politician).
17 - Unreferenced repetition of an obvious urban legend.
18 - Unreadable "foot note".
19 - Out-of-context misrepresentation of material in footnote.
20 - Depiction of opponent as defending or supporting some unspeakable monster (e.g. Pol Pot or Stalin).
21 - Straw Man - Use of quotation with implication that anyone actually holds some stupid or reprehensible point of view.
22 - Absolutely no idea what his point is.
23 - Mercifully, no politics in today's strip --but even less funny than usual.
24 - Lazy and only used one panel on a weekday.
25 - Lazy and only used one panel on a Sunday.
26 - Overuse of four-dot ellipses.
27 - Too many words.
28 - Has cited an obviously biased news source as his only support.
29 - Has cited an entire publication/site as his source (e.g., USA Today or Google).
30 - Demonstrates Extreme Brazenness or Hypocrisy regarding Republicans (IOKIYAR).
31 - Uncritical Regurgitation of Republican Talking Points.
32 - Creepy Unintentional Self-Revelation.
33 - Includes a Seriously Disturbing Image.

Despite the obvious advantage of some re-organization, I maintained the order of the original list and additions, to maintain backward-compatibility with past comments.

Feel free to suggest additions to the list!


Gold-Digging Nanny said...

On an unrelated note, someone linked to the Wikipedia entry on Mallard Fillmore the other day and I noticed it has a section for blog criticism of Mallard Fillmore. Duck and Cover wasn't on it. It is now. :)

Gold-Digging Nanny said...

Perhaps for the list you could add a few from the Golden Ellipses that we failed to include, like "poor scansion in limerick," "IOKIYAR," "creepy self-revelation" or "regurgitated talking point." (On the other hand, the latter would probably get used a lot....)

Michael said...

Sounds like we're halfway to a Mallard Fillmore drinking game.

rewinn said...

Mallard Fillmore drinking game?

Heh. The loser draws the next week's strips.

Who could tell the difference?

Gold-Digging Nanny said...

Perhaps we should have one for "crotch shot." It happens often enough.

Anonymous said...

34. Racist comment.
35. Racist caricature.
36. Racist joke. Nevermind, he does not tell jokes, ignore this one.
37. Mary Sue who is not Mallard.
38. Furry alterego who is not Mallard.
39. Violation of Godwin's Law.
40. Pandering (this should put the drunks in comas.)
41. 180 degree change in his opinion of someone.
42. 41 caused by a minor change in the subject's behavior or opinion.
43. 42 but the change never occurred, outside of Tinsley's delusions.
44. Any of 41 through 43 towards someone Tinsley once idolized or fucking hated (see: McCain after he refused to commit torture.)
45. Should 45 overlap with 43, the drunks would have to chug three kegs each.
46. Should 45, 43, 40 and 39 overlap, the drunks would have to drink the entire inventory of a liquor store.

I wrote this little poem for another website:

Bruce Tinsley...creator of Mallard Fillmore...a real crazy...who empties the liquor store...uses the ellipses...even more blatantly…
...than these...his errors noticed not faintly...his rhyme schemes...terrible failure...they fucking suck ass beans...they are, completely, impure...even those with other punctuation marks...beyond them, ellipses will still be parked!...

I know that unlike Bruce Tinsley, I used a proper rhyme scheme but did I fuck up the scansion? I have not written a poem in a long time and am still relearning how to create meter.