What's Mallard raving about today?
Rock the Vote
I suspect the name derives from the fact that it involves "Rock Stars" and because it is intended to "rock the boat" by engaging young people in the democratic process.
Of course, that ignores the obvious fact that voting should only be entrusted to fear-mongering, dishonest, intellectually lazy, bitter, old crackpots whose best days (if they ever had them) are long behind them. For whom, John McCain is the Alpha Male and perfect standard-bearer.
It'd be a shame for anyone with hope for the future (and a future) to participate in something as messy as Democracy because God knows what kind of crazy choices they might make. Just look at this presumptuous Obama fellow.
12 comments:
No no, rocking the vote is insulting the intelligence of young people. It's just Mallard's happy luck that all intelligent young people think like him. Anyone who doesn't is a stupid young person and should educate themselves at which point they would become conservative, because by default it's the right and proper way for a human to think.
*rant rant* stoopid libruls *grumble*
Chantel sighting!
Just please for the love of all that's holy do NOT explain to me what she's doing in Mallard's...apartment? Shack? Lean-to?
That's not Chantel, it's Mallard's caseworker. She's congratulating Mallard on upgrading from having no furniture to reclining on a 20-pound sack of Old Roy.
The only thing missing from this sad tale of depravity is a single bare light bulb hanging from the ceiling, illuminating a plastic vodka bottle in the corner that was used as a makeshift urinal in a particularly dire, lonely hour last week.
Chantel is blind now?
What I find most telling of Mallard is that he is honoring both Constitution Day and Citizenship Day by... denigrating a citizen's right and duty to vote. As much as he likes to point out the sacrifices of soldiers to secure our freedoms, he turns around and casts it off as pointless and demeaning, and on all days as Constitution and Citizenship Day! Mallard, why do you hate America so much?
Isn't insulting the intelligence of young people one of the MOs of this strip? How many times have we seen strips in the vein of "high school/college student doesn't know everything Tinshley did back before all that cheap gin killed his brain cells"? Because I rather think it's a lot.
I'm also unclear, based on his past performance, whether he's being sarcastic by using all those archaic synonyms for "cool," or if he thinks they're all still in current use. I have my suspicions it may be the latter.
Honestly, my first thought on reading today's strip was that Tinsley must have editted out the opening lines:
"Those kids and their Rock Music! That's not music, it's just noise! Get off my lawn!"
Can you imagine what Mallard would do if we made voting mandatory? Now I want to see it happen, just to watch his reaction.
You can't make voting mandatory! If you did that, employers might have to give their employees time off while the polls are open, and we know we can't have that--that's be insulting to the employers!
"... really hip, and cool, and rad, sick and groovy"? Yes, that would insult their intelligence.
Testing my new blogger icon! Testing, 1, 2, 3.
Okay, where is Mallard?. It looks like he's on his couch. Does that mean he's getting it on with the Chantel? chick? Or was part of his job requirements that he have a couch and TV in his office? Either way, would you put on some pants in front of the lady?
I can't think of a single instance in the last fifteen years which someone used the word "groovy" in a non-ironic fashion. Except maybe for marketing plastic ponies and such. Which I am all over, so I don't know what Mallard is complaining about, "groovy" just speaks to my Generation. Er, my peeps.
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