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Monday, September 29, 2008

That damned problem

What's Mallard raving about today?

Barack Obama, Jesse Jackson, Racism.

Today could have been the bravest Mallard Fillmore ever, until Mallard decided to point the finger of accusation at someone other than himself.


Nick said...

Well, yeah, it's the right that has that problem. With 40 million black people in the U.S. (2006 numbers), if most of Obama's supporters were BLACK, then he could have no more than 79 million supporters -- giving McCain the win.

rewinn said...

The meaning of today's strip is that preachers who complain about racism are faking it to "build a career". There isn't any real racism in America because our next President is going to be black.

The joke is that there are some people who might actually believe this. Is Tinsley mocking his audience?

Jesse Jackson is not my favorite guy. His 2004 run for president sidelined that of a black female senator whose name few people even remember.

But he could have become much wealthier and more powerful as a TV preachers raking in millions selling rightwing propaganda. I'm not sure he's the most effective spokesman for his constituency (Obama and dozens of other elected officials can do more because they put themselves to the electoral test) but he seems far more sincere than, say, Pat Robertson.

Anonymous said...


Jesse Jackson diffident run for president in in 2004 that was Al Sharpton.

Michael said...

It's the long lost black Conehead.

Anonymous said...

Jesse Jackson did run for President before and thank the imaginary deity that Tinsley worships he did not win. Jesse is a crazy racist and supporter of many dictators, he controlled the ElRuk'n street gang and pretended to have been t Martin Luther King, his enemy's side when he died. King hated Jackson and only allowed allowed him in his organization because the staff liked him; actual reverend Ralph D. Abernathy was at King's side when he died. (Kenneth R. Tinnerman, Shakedown: Exposing The Real Jesse Jackson) I say that anything Jesse Jackson hates must be good.

I just saw this graph: ( I am, assuming this is accurate, now very interested in Obama. Note how Obama's taxes would, only, hurt rich men yet still provide about $80,000 more than McCain.

Duck Hunter said...


Mallard: “Even at this point in the campaign, it seems that some people aren’t properly identifying Obama with some of the more divisive Black leaders of the past…”

Caricature: “In case you can’t recognize me, I’m supposed to be Jesse Jackson.” “See how angry I’ve been drawn to look? That’s to suggest that I resent Obama for getting further politically than I ever did, not to mention to scare you into voting for McCain”.

David B said...

You've gotta hand it to Tinsley, though--if Obama wins, he gets to say that a black man has been elected president, and therefore there is no racism in America.

QED and all that.

Essentially, that means he'll be able to slam Obama on stereotypically "black" sorts of things, and Tinsley will have defined the racism out of such attacks.

And he won't be alone in this.

I'm beginning to think that Tinsley and his ilk aren't clueless or crazy, but rather that they've got a bit of evil genius going for them. Be afraid.

Anonymous said...

I posted this in Meta-Post: Mallard Comment Codes but I thought of more codes. Everything after 46 is new.

34. Racist comment.
35. Racist caricature.
36. Racist joke. Nevermind, he does not tell jokes, ignore this one.
37. Mary Sue who is not Mallard.
38. Furry alterego who is not Mallard.
39. Violation of Godwin's Law.
40. Pandering (this should put the drunks in comas.)
41. 180 degree change in his opinion of someone.
42. 41 caused by a minor change in the subject's behavior or opinion.
43. 42 but the change never occurred, outside of Tinsley's delusions.
44. Any of 41 through 43 towards someone Tinsley once idolized or fucking hated (see: McCain after he refused to commit torture.)
45. Should 44 overlap with 43, the drunks would have to chug three kegs each.
46. Should 44, 43, 40 and 39 overlap, the drunks would have to drink the entire inventory of a liquor store.
47. Encouragement of torture.
48. Strip most likely drawn while on hallucinogens (see that damned sun, those damned predatory animals.)
49. Misunderstands a basic scientific concept.
50. Needs more words (should be a very rare one.)
51. Ancient joke.
52. Shit joke (see the cartoon where a car is, literally, fueled by bullshit.)
53. Caveman joke.
54. Caveman who, obviously, represents a black stereotype. Caveman stereotypes are, apparently, thinly veiled Black stereotypes.
55. Stolen joke.
56. Stolen idea.
57. Intelligence treated as a detriment.
58. Treats the rich as better or more deserving of advantages than the poor.
59. Does not even try to disguise his racism (see everything he writes about Obama.)
60. Supports discredited ideas.

I wrote this little poem for another website:

Bruce Tinsley...creator of Mallard Fillmore...a real crazy...who empties the liquor store...uses the ellipses...even more blatantly…
...than these...his errors noticed not faintly...his rhyme schemes...terrible failure...they fucking suck ass beans...they are, completely, impure...even those with other punctuation marks...beyond them, ellipses will still be parked!...

I know that unlike Bruce Tinsley, I used a proper rhyme scheme but did I fuck up the scansion? I have not written a poem in a long time and am still relearning how to create meter.

Michael said...

Great poem, anonymous.

Here are some Mallard Fillmore limericks:

Kaitlyn said...

Did you know that if a black person does something you don't like, it cancels out anything they say about racism, because they're so unlikable!

Gold-Digging Nanny said...

rewinn: Carol Moseley Braun (didn't have to look it up, either).

What do I win?

(1st anonymous is right, though -- it was Sharpton.)

rewinn said...

All: Ooops. Sharpton, not Jackson. My Bad!

I was going to say more but the new Mallard Comment Codes have me helpless with snicker.

'morrow all!