What's Mallard raving about today?
President Reagan, Republican Candidates.
Things must be worse in the GOP that I'd imagined if Mallard is this dismissive of the entire field of candidates. Time for Zombie Ronald Reagan.
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Friday, June 29, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Those damned Sopranos
What's Mallard raving about today?
The Sopranos, Premium Cable, Thrift.
Wow. I mean...just...wow.
I believe this may be the stupidest thing ever published since humans began expressing themselves visually and/or verbally.
I mean, Mallard is reaching a point where running his comic is akin to publishing a person's diary, assuming that it was a really, really, really boring person.
When Mallard does finally get around to watching The Sopranos, he wont stop bitching about how disappointed he is, not realizing that the major flaw in his premise is that much of what made The Sopranos so ground-breaking--the anti-hero--has now been turned into a commodity by shows like The Shield and/or House. It can't be fully appreciated in retrospect.
The Sopranos, Premium Cable, Thrift.
Wow. I mean...just...wow.
I believe this may be the stupidest thing ever published since humans began expressing themselves visually and/or verbally.
I mean, Mallard is reaching a point where running his comic is akin to publishing a person's diary, assuming that it was a really, really, really boring person.
When Mallard does finally get around to watching The Sopranos, he wont stop bitching about how disappointed he is, not realizing that the major flaw in his premise is that much of what made The Sopranos so ground-breaking--the anti-hero--has now been turned into a commodity by shows like The Shield and/or House. It can't be fully appreciated in retrospect.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Those damned Marooned Soldiers
What's Mallard raving about today?
Paris Hilton, the Media, Marooned Japanese soldiers.
A reasonable premise, executed reasonably. Definitely out of character for Mallard.
I would like to applaud the decision not to include a caricature of a buck-toothed stereotype Japanese soldier, it can't have been easy to make that choice.
However, I have to ask: what the hell does the fact that the soldier has never seen a jet have to do with anything at all?
Paris Hilton, the Media, Marooned Japanese soldiers.
A reasonable premise, executed reasonably. Definitely out of character for Mallard.
I would like to applaud the decision not to include a caricature of a buck-toothed stereotype Japanese soldier, it can't have been easy to make that choice.
However, I have to ask: what the hell does the fact that the soldier has never seen a jet have to do with anything at all?
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
That damned Hilton
What's Mallard raving about today?
Paris Hilton, the Media.
Paris Hilton, who in real life may be devoid of a soul, has her eyes open and staring creepily out towards the reader in her Mallard caricature. What sweeping conclusions can one make of that oddity?
If we could find a caricature of another person without a soul (Vice President Cheney?) we might have 2 data points on this.
Paris Hilton, the Media.
Paris Hilton, who in real life may be devoid of a soul, has her eyes open and staring creepily out towards the reader in her Mallard caricature. What sweeping conclusions can one make of that oddity?
If we could find a caricature of another person without a soul (Vice President Cheney?) we might have 2 data points on this.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Those damned grassroots
What's Mallard raving about today?
Immigration, lobbyists, grassroots movements.
I admit that I have not paid close enough attention to this issue to have a clear understanding of what factions are for the legislation as proposed and what factions are against it. But from an outsider's perspective it would seem the President is for it and the majority of Congress is against it, which is the only way to explain why it hasn't passed.
I mention that only because this panel would make more sense if, say, Congress were basically supportive of Immigration legislation. Otherwise it's just stupid.
Immigration, lobbyists, grassroots movements.
I admit that I have not paid close enough attention to this issue to have a clear understanding of what factions are for the legislation as proposed and what factions are against it. But from an outsider's perspective it would seem the President is for it and the majority of Congress is against it, which is the only way to explain why it hasn't passed.
I mention that only because this panel would make more sense if, say, Congress were basically supportive of Immigration legislation. Otherwise it's just stupid.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
That damned Rosie
What's Mallard raving about today?
Reality TV, Rosie O'Donnell.
I confess, I know next to nothing about Rosie O'Donnell so each of these panels, which presumably makes reference to something she has said or done, means absolutely nothing to me.
I assume, this being Mallard, he is full of shit, but that's just an assumption and I don't care enough to do research on crackpot right-wing objections to Ms. O'Donnell in order to extend my knowledge beyond the fact that she's a scary opinionated lesbian.
That said, I think that the woman in panel 5 will win this contest, since she is the only one capable of keeping her eyes open while on camera.
Reality TV, Rosie O'Donnell.
I confess, I know next to nothing about Rosie O'Donnell so each of these panels, which presumably makes reference to something she has said or done, means absolutely nothing to me.
I assume, this being Mallard, he is full of shit, but that's just an assumption and I don't care enough to do research on crackpot right-wing objections to Ms. O'Donnell in order to extend my knowledge beyond the fact that she's a scary opinionated lesbian.
That said, I think that the woman in panel 5 will win this contest, since she is the only one capable of keeping her eyes open while on camera.
Saturday, June 23, 2007
That damned Scooter
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Clinton, Scooter Libby.
In that case, I guess Mallard won't be among the voices clamoring for Scooter to be released from jail because he's such a nice guy and because it was all Patrick Fitzgerald's fault for asking Scooter a question which he didn't want to answer honestly.
I will at least give Mallard credit for being able to draw a straight line between Scooter and the screeching about the "rule of law" as a justification for impeaching the President. Almost all of Scooter's other defenders seem perfectly willing to excuse him for his perjury with no honesty whatever.
President Clinton, Scooter Libby.
In that case, I guess Mallard won't be among the voices clamoring for Scooter to be released from jail because he's such a nice guy and because it was all Patrick Fitzgerald's fault for asking Scooter a question which he didn't want to answer honestly.
I will at least give Mallard credit for being able to draw a straight line between Scooter and the screeching about the "rule of law" as a justification for impeaching the President. Almost all of Scooter's other defenders seem perfectly willing to excuse him for his perjury with no honesty whatever.
Friday, June 22, 2007
Those damned gas stations
What's Mallard raving about today?
Cows, fuel.
Credit where it is due, you can at least identify an attempt at humor here. That said, after yesterday stooping lower than a cow's sense of decency, Mallard finds a new low water mark.
That and no Evil Sun. Come on!
Cows, fuel.
Credit where it is due, you can at least identify an attempt at humor here. That said, after yesterday stooping lower than a cow's sense of decency, Mallard finds a new low water mark.
That and no Evil Sun. Come on!
Thursday, June 21, 2007
Those damned cows
What's Mallard raving about today?
Cows, Global Warming.
In other words, cows have a more developed sense of shame and/or decency than Mallard.
Cows, Global Warming.
In other words, cows have a more developed sense of shame and/or decency than Mallard.
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
That damned Reagan
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Reagan, the Media, the Soviet Union.
In Mallard's world is it a sin to not invoke, every time the Soviet Union comes up in any conversation, Saint Reagan's name.
Did it ever occur to you, Mallard, that folks are a bit more concerned about the fact that your current hero President has generated a new conflict with Russia? And is being outmaneuvered diplomatically by Vladimir Putin?
President Reagan, the Media, the Soviet Union.
In Mallard's world is it a sin to not invoke, every time the Soviet Union comes up in any conversation, Saint Reagan's name.
Did it ever occur to you, Mallard, that folks are a bit more concerned about the fact that your current hero President has generated a new conflict with Russia? And is being outmaneuvered diplomatically by Vladimir Putin?
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
Those damned Seventies
What's Mallard raving about today?
The seventies, the Cold War, Fashion, Jimmy Carter.
While I hate to cast aspersions on Mallard's attempt to find a humorous slant to George Santayana, but I am not sure who he is trying to suggest doesn't remember the Seventies. I might buy that members of the fashion industry were drunk or coked out of their minds and can't remember the Seventies. But who else could he possibly be referring to that might not have a clear memory of the Seventies?
The seventies, the Cold War, Fashion, Jimmy Carter.
While I hate to cast aspersions on Mallard's attempt to find a humorous slant to George Santayana, but I am not sure who he is trying to suggest doesn't remember the Seventies. I might buy that members of the fashion industry were drunk or coked out of their minds and can't remember the Seventies. But who else could he possibly be referring to that might not have a clear memory of the Seventies?
Monday, June 18, 2007
That damned Senator Reid
What's Mallard raving about today?
Senator Reid.
Mallard's really on a roll here.
After reducing the Immigration debate to a cutting-in-line metaphor, Mallard is now comparing the war in Iraq to a girl's soccer game. I don't know where these statistics are kept, but I strongly suspect AYSO has not seen over 3,000 deaths in the last 4 years.
Senator Reid.
Mallard's really on a roll here.
After reducing the Immigration debate to a cutting-in-line metaphor, Mallard is now comparing the war in Iraq to a girl's soccer game. I don't know where these statistics are kept, but I strongly suspect AYSO has not seen over 3,000 deaths in the last 4 years.
Sunday, June 17, 2007
That damned Baldwin
What's Mallard raving about today?
Alec Baldwin, Father's Day.
2 months after the fact, Mallard revisits the Alec Baldwin story because, as everyone knows, you can tell everything you need to know about a person from their public mistakes and humiliations.
Alec Baldwin, Father's Day.
2 months after the fact, Mallard revisits the Alec Baldwin story because, as everyone knows, you can tell everything you need to know about a person from their public mistakes and humiliations.
Saturday, June 16, 2007
That damned math
What's Mallard raving about today?
SPAM, Friends.
Goddamn it, Mallard. Do I really have to do math for you?
If you email this special message to 10 friends once a day you'll have 70 fewer friends by the end of the week.
10 friends, 1 time per day, 7 days of the week = 70 friends.
SPAM, Friends.
Goddamn it, Mallard. Do I really have to do math for you?
If you email this special message to 10 friends once a day you'll have 70 fewer friends by the end of the week.
10 friends, 1 time per day, 7 days of the week = 70 friends.
Friday, June 15, 2007
That damned chain eMail
What's Mallard raving about today?
eMail.
We interrupt your life for this important announcement from Mallard Fillmore: SPAM is annoying.
eMail.
We interrupt your life for this important announcement from Mallard Fillmore: SPAM is annoying.
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