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Saturday, October 31, 2009

That damned Term

What's Mallard raving about today?

Keith Olbermann.

Oh well, whatever, nevermind.

Honestly, quite apart from his Right Wing Water-Carrying and reflexive repetition of whatever Glen Beck and Rush Limbaugh tell him to think, Mallard Fillmore is a less likable being than Crankshaft.

Friday, October 30, 2009

That damned Hallowe'en

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hallowe'en, Washington.

For Mallard, Hallowe'en apparently means Crime, Spending, Corruption, and "etc."

Oh, and by the way, Mallard. It's "Woo" not "Boo."

Thursday, October 29, 2009

That damned blessing

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Racism, Reverend Al Sharpton.

I had no idea this crisis had grown so acute...Mallard Fillmore truly has his finger on the pulse of...well, some sort of America that exists only in his own mind.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

That damned Return

What's Mallard raving about today?

The same thing as yesterday.

What if wondering about returning things is racist?

We get it Mallard. You're not subtle. Please move on.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

That damned Costume

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals, President Obama, Racism.

"Man those Liberals are stupid. Not real Liberals, of course. The ones in my head, though. Scary stupid!"

Monday, October 26, 2009

That damned Prize

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Nobel Peace Prize, President Obama.

President Obama was responsible for removing dangerously unstable Neocons from power. No one in 2009 did anything better than that to make the world a more peaceful place.

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Those damned Teabaggers

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teabaggers, Politicians, The Media.

Quite a little seld-important fantasy world Mallard lives in.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

That damned U.N.

What's Mallard raving about today?

The U.N.

For anyone with a hint of decency or shame, it would be pretty tough to cast stones about speeches made at the U.N. after Colin Powell's performance.

For Mallard...

Friday, October 23, 2009

That dmaned Czar

What's Mallard raving about today?

Czars, Pet Peeves.

Take one teaspoon of Faux Outrage, ginned up by Fox Propaganda. Add a tablespoon of Self-Righteous Pet Peeve. Inexplicably, garnish with people watching TV.

The result...whatever the hell this mess is.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Those damned Journalists

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teabaggers, Journalists.

I recall a complete hissy fit when someone submitted a videowhich compared President Bush to Hitler to a MoveOn.org contest...an episode which Republicans continue to lie about.

Anti-war protests, as a general rule, got very little coverage, since the contradicted the prevailing media narrative about the Patriotic War, despite the fact that they actually drew large crowds (as opposed to lying about the size of the crowd).

Protesters were arrested for wearing anti-Bush T-Shirts.

Mallard Fillmore: Equivalency FAIL.

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

That damned Timing

What's Mallard raving about today?

Olympics, Generals, Polls, President Obama.

Most hilarious Mallard Fillmore ever.

Unintentionally, of course.

Since writing this, the President won the Nobel Peace Prize and his approval ratings have been increasing for a while now.

Can't wait for Mallard's Nobel Peace Prize as Affirmation Action screed to join this in the Republican Cognitive Dissonance Hall of Fame.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Those damned Oscars

What's Mallard raving about today?

Roman Polanski, Hollywood.

I offer no defense for Roman Polanski apologists.

But, as usual, Mallard takes the statements and actions of individuals and imputes them to an entire segment of people whom he either detests as a predetermined fact or chooses to detest as a result. Counter-examples within the segment are not welcome, thank you very much.

Either way it's intellectually lazy. I mean, if you're going to spend your life being a Hater, then at least show some pride in your work.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

That damned Car Alarm

What's Mallard raving about today?

Car Alarms.

There's a Socialist Fascist in the White House, and you're complaining about car alarms?

Why do you hate America, Mallard?

Saturday, October 17, 2009

That damned Shirt

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Apologies.

Actually, there is a limit. Once for pretty much each action the Bush Administration took. Though, I admit, in that case a T-Shirt may be more effective.