That damned Rabble

What's Mallard raving about today?

Congress, HCR.

The ironic thing here is that I agree, although for the complete opposite reason as Mallard. I'd like a mass of Democratic Senators to be ousted and replaced with someone who has the guts to fight for something and to solve problems for People, rather than protecting Corporate profits.

That said, since Corporations now own our elections, Congress need not worry about the "rabble."

Those damned Cars

What's Mallard raving about today?

Cars, BMW.

This is an inoffensive but perfect example of everything that is wrong with Mallard Fillmore.

There is nothing to this comic, nothing at all, without the implicit assumption that every reader shares 100% of Mallard's parochial world view, in this case some sort of complaint about the styling of cars.

Absent that lock-step mindset, this is just head-slappingly baffling.

Those damned Books

What's Mallard raving about today?

Al Gore, Cold Weather.

"See, it's freezing cold right now, so the Earth can't possibly be growing warmer. Plus, it's dark outside right now, so the Earth is in constant darkness., the fire helps with that also"

By the way, Mallard, NASA says you're full of shit.

Those damned Vampires

What's Mallard raving about today?

Twilight, Men, Women.

Two whole days to complain about other people's choice in reading material which really only serves to illustrate that Mallard missed the Anne Rice phenomena, if he thinks this started with Twilight.

By the way, Mallard hates it when other people lecture people about their values.

That damned Manuscript

What's Mallard raving about today?

Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre, Twilight.

Great, now I know Mallard's opinion of Twilight. Like I needed that information in my head.

That damned Debate

What's Mallard raving about today?

Vice President Biden, Senator Reid, Racism.

Two days running on Senator Reid's rather truthful statement, in mallard's continuing attempting to redefine discussing race as Racism.

Anyone wanta to bet that Mallard doesn't devote one day to this quote, from South Carolina Republican Andre Bauer:

"My grandmother was not a highly educated woman, but she told me as a small child to quit feeding stray animals. You know why? Because they breed...You’re facilitating the problem if you give an animal or a person ample food supply. They will reproduce, especially ones that don’t think too much further than that. And so what you’ve got to do is you've got to curtail that type of behavior. They don’t know any better."

Those damned Circles

What's Mallard raving about today?

Senator Reid, President Carter, Race.

Uncomfortable and impolitic as Senator Reid's words were, does anyone really want to argue that they aren't true, for better or worse?

The same is true for what President Carter said, which, to be precise (unlike Mallard who is deliberately misrepresenting the statement) was this: "I think an overwhelming portion of the intensely demonstrated animosity toward President Barack Obama is based on the fact that he is a black man, that he's African-American."

Which means that Mallard does not want to hang out in circles with people who say things that are true, which is entirely believable.

That damned Shock

What's Mallard raving about today?

Stuff that could kill you.

Mallard wins the bet on how many times he could cram the phrase "kill you" into a single strip.

Honestly, has Mallard given up all pretense to making sense?

That damned Planet

What's Mallard raving about today?

Gifts, The Planet.

Psssst. Do you think Mallard understands that it is January 22, and Valentine's Day is still 3 weeks away?

That damned Cheeseball

What's Mallard raving about today?

Valentine's Day

It's never to early to start complaining about showing affection to the person you love.

Mrs. Mallard is a lucky, lucky woman.

That damned Mindset

What's Mallard raving about today?

Terrorism, Dogs.

"Plus, he's over 6 feet at the withers, weighs upwards of 2,000lbs, requires half a bag of dog food a day to keep fed, and (trust me) you do not want to see what going on in the spot where he does his business. On a totally unrelated note, airport security is getting annoying and obtrusive."

That damned courtesy

What's Mallard raving about today?

Air Travel.

Mind you, Mallard is a big fan of profiling...as long as it only affects people who look like terrorists.

And racism is dead.

That damned Pat Down

What's Mallard raving about today?

Airport Security.

Mallard, gratefully, does not participate in the Right Wing Surrender Monkeys' Terrorism freak-out of 2010.

And yet, he still finds a way to up the ante on the ick factor.

Well, played.

That damned...What Now?

What's Mallard raving about today?

Foreign Policy, President Obama, Oprah Winfrey, Robyn Okrant.

Now, I'd defy Mallard to back that statement up with some sort of example, but of course, Mallard is all about McCarthy-esque accusation with no proof or substantiation.

Mind you, if Mallard had his way, our Vice President would be someone so ignorant that they never heard of the Foreign Policy doctrine created by President Bush.

Those damned Lists

What's Mallard raving about today?

2010, President Obama, The New York Times, Scientists.

My prediction...Mallad will continue to griping about the same made up stuff he's been flogging since 1994.