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Thursday, January 28, 2010

Those damned Vampires

What's Mallard raving about today?

Twilight, Men, Women.

Two whole days to complain about other people's choice in reading material which really only serves to illustrate that Mallard missed the Anne Rice phenomena, if he thinks this started with Twilight.

By the way, Mallard hates it when other people lecture people about their values.

17 comments:

Factinista said...

I do believe Mallard just broke into Chantel's home. To find out what she's reading. Eww.

GeoX said...

Also, it turns out that Chantel is an angsty teenager. Who knew?

Tog said...

Factinista: 9/11 changed everything!!!1

Mallard must already be horrified that Chantel's reading, period. You're just supposed to buy the book to boost the sales figures, thereby validating the author's opinion as expressed on TV and radio. Actual reading exposes one to new ideas and facts--which, as we all know, have a poisonous liberal bias.

We've seen what Mallard does with every moment of his free time...oh, wait, that's only because Tinsley himself is too lazy to draw him doing anything else.

deepbeep said...

"Chantel, this is sergeant Sacker. Listen to me. We've traced the call... it's coming from inside the house. Now a squad car's coming over there right now, just get out of that house!"

Johaely said...

And tomorrow we will see either Mallard getting arrested for trespassing or getting his ass kicked for rummaging through Chantel's stuff.

Kip W said...

Focus on your mission, duck! The basket with her dirty laundry is upstairs. You just spent four minutes sounding out the title of a book, and she'll probably be coming home soon.

Rootbeer said...

How could the first panel have been creepier?

"Let's see what's in Chantel's liquor cabinet..."

"Let's see what's in Chantel's laundry hamper..."

"Let's see what's in Chantel's abdominal cavity..."

exanonymous said...

Ah, more neocon fantasizing about the "good old days" when they were little children.

And yet again, Tinsley is years late in jumping on the hate-bandwagon. The book was released in 2005, for cripes sake! And the movie was last year. It's now at the completely ignorable phase of pop culture, unless you're obsessed with teenage girls.

dlauthor said...

Actually, Mallard, the girls weren't going "ewww" about what you were reading. Neither do the little boys today.

Steve-O said...

I guess in Mallard's world "Twilight" is the only series of books about vampires available. I would also be willing to bet any amount of money that Tinsley has never read a single "Twilight" book. He's saying "eww" because someone's reading a book that wasn't written by Ann Coulter or Sarah Palin.

Anonymous said...

I have a suspicion that Tinsley has a secret identity, say, Voluptua Titwhistle, under which he pens romance novels of the goopiest sort, to which tasteful males and females of all ages say, "Ewwww!"

rewinn said...

Tinshley is criticizing Chantel.

Therefore: Tinshley *IS* Chantel!!!!



(...stealing yesterday's joke from NickE ...)

Marion Delgado said...

Calm down, people, calm down. As long as Chantel doesn't do anything stupid like dress like a little boy, she's perfectly safe.

Okay, she does kind of dress like a little boy. In that case, I'd highly recommend she stay locked in her room but tell Mallard Tinsley where the key to the liquor cabinet is.

rewinn said...

Mallard Fillmore Prediction #323: in about three weeks, we'll see a "comic" featuring Obama's chin saying something about the State of the Union.

Taquelli said...

Wait, who is Chantel? Are we led to believe that there are actually characters in the Mallard Fillmore universe? I thought it was just strawmen, awful caricatures, and the Duck.

Factinista said...

Yeah, there are in fact characters, but they've long since abandoned any traits outside of being cheap send-ups. For what it's worth, King Features has a character page with descriptions. It's actually quite disturbing, since despite Mallard's supposed interest in Chantel, he's not above stalking her or plotting to murder her.

Kip W said...

Mallard recognizes the existence of books when a movie is made of them. In this case, he knew what the book was about because there's a picture on the cover.