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Thursday, January 14, 2010

That damned Joke

What's Mallard raving about today?

Larry, Jokes, Email.

"...Instead of forwarding it myself, I simply posted the text as a comment on this Blog I read."


Tog said...

Yeah, like there's 187 people who would ever e-mail anything to Mallard/ least until technology makes it possible to e-mail a flaming bag of poop, anyway.

Tinsley continues to maintain his standard pattern: first, say something blatantly bigoted (or, as idiots like to call it, POLITICALLY INCORRECT HURF HURF DURF ME AM BRAVE CULTUR WARRIERRRR); second, get defensive about it (WHAT, ME RACIST? NO! U RACIST!!); third--and now--back waaaaay off and pretend to be just another bland comic strip, rehashing jokes about e-mail that were stale a decade ago.

Seriously, Tinsley, how gutless can one man be?

Kip W said...

Hey, airline food, mothers-in-law, used-car salesmen, driveways vs parkways, traffic jams, cell phones and the DMV!

Am I right? I said, am I right, folks?? Try the veal. Be sure and stiff your waitress.

Rootbeer said...

Yes. It is tiresome to read the same old joke over and over again.


dlauthor said...

Ah, the self-styled Schulz of the Dittoheads doth protest too much, methinks.

Neo Tuxedo said...

at least until technology makes it possible to e-mail a flaming bag of poop, anyway.

Well hythar, TOGGG! For literally years, you've been able to hotlink a Flaming Bag of Poo.

I hate chuck asay said...

Those 489 guys are the readership and creator of Mallard Fillmore, and have a collective I.Q. of 2,445.

Tinsley's comic, today, offended me less than usual--it was highly technophobic, but not the extreme racism seen yesterday--so I have decided to offend him, by expanding on what I said yesterday:

O Tinsley, once again, you have contradicted your, own, idiocy: You claimed to hate technology, yet admitted that you used the Internet and e-mail!

You may be a Christian in these cases:

* You encourage ethnic cleansing through the worst forms of torture.
* You believe, despite endless incontrovertible piles of proof, that evolution and science are myths, and God is real.
* You believe that medicine and science are the tools of the devil, dragging us into Hell.
* You waste your life praying to an imaginary being and giving up all fun, because a book tells you.
* You think that the Spanish Conquistadores were too nice.
* You think any work that does not conform to your, precise, ideas is evil.
* You believe that condoms are the sole cause of A.I.D.S.{1}
* You think that every Pope is perfect, even, if he is a Satanist, a genocidal dictator, a thief, or a Holocaust denier, but every nonChristian in power brings us closer to the apocalypse.
* You want to run every member of another religion or a non-religious belief system out of your country and send him to Israel, which, you believe should be bombed.
* You deny the existence of gravity, fossils, radioactive decay, Relativity, Quantum Physics, and anything else that contradicts your belief system.

{1} Something the Pope might have said, somewhere, in Africa. (This, sadly, is a better footnote than anything in Mallard Fillmore.)

Other non-Muslim terrorists: Joan of Arc, Toquemada, Cortez, Julius II, Spanish Conquistadores, Crusaders, Amish Elders, Puritan leaders, Constantine, Mark of Arethusa, Cyril of Heliopolis, Theodosius--he was not so bad, though, since he did kill children--Karl, Knights of the Order--need I continue?

Hey, yesterday's "anonymous" poster--clearly, Bruce Tinsley--explain how something can be a peaceful religion, yet encourage all the enormities committed by the above guys!

Word Verification: Waters, things that Tinsley, only, drinks when his drums of Methanol are impure.

Word Verification: Bract, a mixture of a retarded brat and an extreme racist, like Bruce Tinsley.

exanonymous said...

Forwarded spam was the complaint of yesterdecade, Mallard.

There are probably some kids on your lawn to go yell at now.

deepbeep said...

After the build up of the last few days, I knew Tinsley would take the easy way out with a trite pop culture complaint instead of actually offering a solution to the "problem" of white discrimination.

Glenn Beck shares the same cowardice: he connects all the dots except the last one, and then pretends that he didn't just draw a picture.

Jon Stewart: "I'm not saying this is a plot by Hitler to steal Glenn Beck from all of us internal organ by internal organ by internal organ and then reprogram him to use as a weapon. But isn't it fascinating that I'm the only one with the courage to ask these questions?"

deepbeep said...

And aren't forwarded emails where Tinsley gets most his information? You know, the ones about Obama that are on Snopes with red circles next to them.

Anonymous said...

Even CNN has had enough!

CNN's Cafferty on Pelosi: "What a Horrible Woman She Is!"

Anonymous said...

Dems rush to help Coakley and save Obamacare

Marion Delgado said...


"Your Tinsleyness"

Join Tea Parties against Tinsley!

Dump the Duck in Boston Harbor!

I hate chuck asay said...

Remember when I said that Day-by-Day was a humorless incomprehensible cartoon? Anyone have the slightest idea of what the Day-by-Day cartoon on means?

Allow me to transcribe it:

"Why should anyone have to 'prove' themselves innocent of racism to others who parse words to fit a crime [s.i.c?]

"How many times have you said: 'We are a nation of laws, not men.'

"Yes, but not a nation of lawyers.


What the fuck does any of this random psychobabble mean?

GeoX said...

Anyone else noticed that anonymous dimwit is basically nothing more than a spambot with an incoherently right-wing bent lately? And we all know how seriously everyone takes comments spam.

Oh well--I suppose if it were capable of coherent communication, it wouldn't be a cretinous little wingnut.

Iron Dragon said...

Eh, I can understand the whole irritation with spam. Part of me wonders if Tinsley moved to this one of his own volition or if his editors had this one be next in line to keep Tinsley from having to deal with an angry mob or subscription drops.

Factinista said...

@ I hate chuck asay Re: Your first post

Alright, there's no need for the absurd stereotyping and this "us vs. them" mentality. There's enough of that from the Republicans. We ought to hold ourselves to a higher standard.

Not THAT Anonymous said...

Once again, reality shows its liberal bias, and reveals Tinsley for the fool that he is...this time on two fronts: the whole "racizm is ded!" fallacy, and the rarity of the Caucasian terrorist.

Choke on reality's knob, Bruce.

Neo Tuxedo said...

Part of me wonders if Tinsley moved to this one of his own volition or if his editors had this one be next in line to keep Tinsley from having to deal with an angry mob or subscription drops.

Don't feel like the lone stranger, Iron Dragon. I wonder the same thing every time one of his plotlines suddenly stops short just as he was about to say something legally actionable. In fact, I'm pretty sure that's the only riesse he has an editor.

Kip W said...

You may be a Christian if you hear of a horrendous disaster somewhere and rush to the airwaves to proclaim that they had it coming because 200 years ago they made a pact with the Devil.

wavydavy said...

Choke on reality's knob, Bruce.

I know you mean that as a negative suggestion, NTA. Unfortunately, if Tinkley is like your standard-issue in-the-closet Rethug, that would be kinda like throwing Brer Rabbit in the briar patch.

WV: tesiven. Not sure, but it sounds like it could be related to Festivus (and it is that time of year, more or less).