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Sunday, January 10, 2010

Those damned predictions

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Media, President Obama, Television.

2010 Predictions of my own:
  1. Mallard will beat to death his complaints about the Media beating stories to death, as well as a number of other topics.
  2. Mallard will baselessly suggest that every misfortune which befalls the President is blamed on Racism.
  3. Mallard will devote 50% of his strips to things he saw Television, and 10% of his strips to complaining about the fact that people watch too much television.


Tog said...

Panel Two: Well, we finally hear from Tinsley on the Tiger Woods "issue," and now I know he reads D&C, because he's passing up an opportunity to bash an athlete who is both black and cheated on his wife. He seems to have comforted himself by drawing a caricature of Woods that looks more at home in WWII propaganda, and of course, he's using Woods to bash the MEDIA--emphasis Tinsley's--which is probably the only thing he hates more than "dusky-lookin' people."

And like DaveyK said, no one on the face of the entire planet beats a dead horse as thoroughly as Bruce Tinsley. No one.

Panel Three: At least Tinsley grasps the concept of "the end of the honeymoon" for any president. Here he passes it off as a prophecy. (Idiot.) Oh, and hey, he's beating his "I'M not racist! YOU'RE racist!" dead horse.

Has Penis-Chin Chet appeared in the strip once in the past year or so? Did Bruce (who is not at all obsessed with wee-wees) get rid of him so the colorist wouldn't be confused as to which caricature to paint that weird ashen gray?

Panel Four: Is that Bruce's self-portrait? It should be.

I hate chuck asay said...

Tinsley's cartoons have caused everyone else on this forum to commit suicide, and I assume Davey will follow. I, alone, stand against the unspeakable terrifying enormities committed by Tinsley.

My thoughts on this comic:

1. Everything Tinsley says about everyone, especially Obama, is racist.
2. Tinsley has no life, no friends, no way to have fun--since he hates technology, and loathes and cannot read books.
3. Tinsley wants every Black man, like Woods and Obama, to be beaten to death.

Word Verification: Ingspias, anagram of i'a spings. I'a Spings, evil God who created Mallard Fillmore! Spings phthang entonecht en Republican Party Headquarters!

Kip W said...

Repeating myself, more or less, I'm not inclined to go out on a limb, so I'll play it safe and boldly predict more of the same old crap from the little duck who doesn't give a fuck.

CW in LA said...

Does the Tinsh mean our president will have record low approval numbers for him, i. e., 45 or 46 percent? Or record for anyone? Because he'd have to mess up pretty spectacularly to get to the sort of numbers Tinsh's beloved Shrub had.

wv: roved, 'to be injured by something vile yet flabby'.

John Ball said...

Well, remember, to Tinsley, Obama is the 'worst president ever (largely by stint of being a black Democrat), while Shrub shall be vindicated by history.

deepbeep said...

I shouldn't have read this cartoon before I've had my coffee. I can barely wrap my mind around the hypocrisy.

Panel 1: Please, god, fall!

Panel 2: Mallard Fillmore criticizing someone for beating a story to death?

Panel 3: The guy who deserved his own special comic intro doesn't like being called out as a racist. No surprise there. This is like a molester demanding "To Catch a Predator" be taken off the air, because it accuses everyone of being a child predator... Also, the phrase "child predator" is meaningless through overuse!

Panel 4: Sorry, Mallard, that TV show has already been made! It's a cartoon strip called "Mallard Fillmore", following the adventures a duck who sits on his couch, complains, and slowly develops adult onset diabetes. In the exciting latest installment, he sits on his couch and complains that there isn't enough fun in NFL games!

rewinn said...

The only president in recent memory whose approval ratings did NOT hit an all-time low in his 2nd year in office accomplished that feat by ignoring a PDB, getting 3000+ Americans killed, freezing in panic, hiding for 3 days, and then talking into a bullhorn.

I do hope Tinshley is right and Obama does not take that course.


I would like to rise in defense of the "reality show" at least when compared to the situation comedies it replaced. Most sitcoms were so god-aweful that at last the industry discovered that they didn't need to hire actors and tell them what to say; it is just as funny to get people to do stupid things and edit the video. And it's a lot cheaper too. So what's the problem?

The Free Market has spoken; who is Drinkley to object?

Tog said...

Rewinn: Tinsley knows Americans are too stupid to be allowed to choose what they want to watch. One day, a Reaganesque dictator will take over (Junior Bush was so close!) and Tinsley can finally quit pretending to be a freedom-loving libertarian.

On a side note, congratulations to Senator Reid for--once again--stumbling right into Republican hands. Tinsley has probably just had his most satisfying orgasm in months. GET OUTTA THE ROAD, STUPID.

That said, it is absolutely incredible that Michael Steele and company are calling for his resignation; do I really need to rattle off a list of the mindblowingly outrageous crap that has spilled out of the mouths of completely unapologetic Republicans for the years? (Not to mention the assorted police blotter entries?)

Frank Stone said...

It's time to play PEOPLE WITHOUT LIVES! Let's welcome our first contestant! He's a syndicated cartoonist, even though he has no artistic or writing talent ... he's a raging alcoholic who once scored two DUIs in four months ... his existence consists entirely of spewing blatantly hypocritical, often incoherent complaints ... say hello to BRUCE TINSLEY!!!

Kip W said...

By apologizing, Reid has shown himself to be unworthy of association with the fine Republicans who say things like this without a single regret. He should resign and make way for a bigot who won't be swayed by remorse or decency.

rewinn said...

As I understand Reid-gate, in a private conversation about Obama's electoral prospects he contrasted Obama's style of speech to stereotypes of the way blacks speak, using the word "Negro", referring to the simple fact that there are more than a few whites who don't like people who look to sound "too black".

And then it got printed in a book. And then it got invented into a scandal.

Had Bill Cosby said this, it would be a non-issue; Bill's said a lot stronger things about stereotypical black culture. Had Reid said this in a speech to the public, it might have been insensitive but it would have been an accurate portrayal of white prejudices. Keep in mind, this is the same month in which a study shows that you have a harder time even getting a job interview if your resume has a name that looks too black.

It's another "Whitey Tape" my friends. Reid is a weak and ineffectual Senate leader and the voters of Nevada may do us all a favor by dumping him, but this "scandal" is just another fake.

exanonymous said...

I'm stuck on the approval rating hitting an all-time low. Seriously, lower than Bush? Is that possible? Only if Obama follows the neocon chickenhawk's advice and invades Yemen. And Iran. At the same time. Even then, it still might float just higher than Bush.