That damned Coincidence

What's Mallard raving about today?

Taxes, President Obama

I found myself strangely excited to read Mallard Fillmore today, thinking this very public mental breakdown would just get more insane in the telling.

I should have known the story wouldn't get any more interesting, and that all we're going to do from here on out is listen to Mallard bitch about the same stupid thing over and over.

Meaning the only thing left to figure out is how many days will this go on?

What's Mallard raving about today?

Taxes, President Obama

Wow, he's really doing this?

During the Bush Administration, I had to deal with the IRS regarding 3 consecutive years also. Does that prove something?

In fact, it does. It proves that Mallard is a raving lunatic and an idiot to boot.

Someone already said it best: Post hoc ergo propter hoc.

What's Mallard raving about today?

Taxes, The IRS

Let me be the first to cal "bullshit" on Mallard and his delusions of grandeur.

That damned System

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teachers, Unions

I'm sorry, so now becoming a teacher is a punishable offense?

Kudos, I guess, for dropping all pretense.

Those damned Grades

What's Mallard raving about today?

Unions, Grades.

Hilarious. Educators with multiple years experience are exactly the same as students taking multiple years to complete a grade.

I have no proven that all teachers should be fired.

Those damned Polls

What's Mallard raving about today?

Death, taxes.

Patrick Henry: Give me Liberty or Give Me Death

Mallard Filmore: Give me Death, so I don't have to pay some sort of price for Liberty.

That damned Agreement

What's Mallard raving about today?

Grammar, Students.

Having long ago abandoned the principle that "ordinary people need a break, not a lecture" in favor of lecturing people all day every day, Mallard goes one step further and decides to lecture people on their use of English, something at which he is exceedingly bad.

That damned Phrase

What's Mallard raving about today?

Speech

Whereas for Mallard, overuse of adjectives is just plain normal. As are petty grievances.

That damned Tip

What's Mallard raving about today?

Taxes.

I think you may be confusing taxes with something else, Mallard.

That damned Apostrophe

What's Mallard raving about today?

Apostrophes, Big Government

Hey Mallard, you know what people like a whole lot less that Big Government?

Arrogant ass hats who correct grammar just because it makes them feel superior, to cover for the fact that they are totally deficient in virtually every other area of their lives.

Plus, it takes a special kind of ass hat to criticize people for use of apostrophes when they have invented their own form of ellipse.

I'd also like to point out that people need a break, not a lecture.

And, finally, shouldn't you be looking for a job?

That damned Spelling

What's Mallard raving about today?

Colonel Gaddafi, President Obama

Day two of Mallard's "President Obama is bad because he isn't acting" narrative.

Already replaced by Republicans with the "President Obama is bad because he acted" narrative, of course.

That damned Soup

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Soup.

One presumes this was written in response to events in Libya. Mallard will, no doubt, soon follow the trajectory of his Right Wing counterparts and criticize President Obama for taking action against Libya, after criticizing him for not taking action on Libya.

The inconsistency in his position will, of course, be President Obama's fault.

That damned Dinosaur

What's Mallard raving about today?

Oil, Dinosaurs.

Once again, I would like to remind everyone that someone got paid for this.

That damned Nose

What's Mallard raving about today?

Beauty

Right, Mallard. It's your nose that turns women away from you.

That damned Delusion

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals, Head Start.

I know the one in Panel 4 is by far the most delusional.