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Monday, November 14, 2011

That damned Opening

What's Mallard raving about today?

Twilight Saga

His politics aside, on a personal level Mallard Fillmore is more of a prick than inveterate asshole Crankshaft.

Unlike that strip, however, Mallard Fillmore is proud of himself and an avatar.

Frightening, indeed.

Sunday, November 13, 2011

That damned Memory

What's Mallard raving about today?

Herman Cain, Justice Thomas

And do you also remember where you were when Joe Paterno's character was assassinated?

Because this line of argument is exactly the same as that would be.

Which is to say that you're a vicious partisan asshole.

That damned Concept

What's Mallard raving about today?

Turkeys

Pssst. No one tell Mallard about the Turducken.

Saturday, November 12, 2011

That damned Accountability

What's Mallard raving about today?

Joe Biden

Once again, in a startling development, the Fillmore Foundation releases a study supporting the pre-conceived notions of it's eponymous Founder.

The study does, however, raise at least two interesting questions:

  1. As the Fillmore Foundation has only identified a single instance of Joe Biden saying something the Foundation has deemed "offensive", what is meant by the use of the plural "things" in this study?
  2. What methodology has the study used to control for the fact that Biden's statement occurred in 2007, while Republicans say multiple offensive things on a daily basis (c.f., Ann Coulter and Rush Limbaugh, on November 10)?
We await these clarifications.

Friday, November 11, 2011

Veteran's Day

Words aren't all you have, Mallard. Your actions could support current Veterans as something other than a political prop. But, you know, that'll never happen so, you know, carry on fetishizing the Military you giant hypocrite.

Update: I saw this today and wanted to add it to the post: Unemployment for Young Vets: 30%, and Rising. But, of course, one-term for President Obama is more important than the economy, jobs, or veterans, so, you know, keep on carrying that water, Mallard.

Thursday, November 10, 2011

That damned Program

What's Mallard raving about today?

Joe Biden

Seriously, you're going with criticism of Joe Biden? Ok, now please cite multiple examples of each claim you have made. I'll wait.


Wednesday, November 09, 2011

That damned Netflix

What's Mallard raving about today?

Netflix

How cute, Mallard is attempting to be relevant! Failing, of course, but...

Not sure exactly why Mallard hates the Free Market, however.

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

That damned Experience

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals

Oh, please...it's not even fun making sport at such a feeble effort.

Monday, November 07, 2011

What's Mallard raving about today?

Liberals, Dinosaurs

Uh, Mallard, you understand that Tyrannosaurus was also a carnivore, right?

In terms of your metaphor here, if the Tyrannosaurus was "old" then, in the animal kingdom, death is a pretty likely fate. Also, can you think of any other words with the same root as "Tyrannosaurus" which mean this metaphor works better when read with the opposite intent as yours?

God, you really suck at your job.

BTW - I realize I am not in the segment of Mallard's readers which are reflexively reflexively frightened at the dog whistle metaphor of a "pack" of "carnivores."

Sunday, November 06, 2011

Saturday, November 05, 2011

That damned Stereotype

What's Mallard raving about today?

Teabaggers, Occupy Wall Street

I think it's absolutely hysterical, and an indication of the absolute intellectual bankruptcy of the Teabaggers, that their main response to OWS is jealousy.

Tebaggers are proving that they have no actual policy underpinning. They are a movement whose only purpose was as a media attention whore to allow Fox, the Koch brothers, and the Republican Party to lie about having populist support.

Thursday, November 03, 2011

That damned Mess

What's Mallard raving about today?

Occupy Wall Street

Uh, by, "those of us" I assume you realize that also include those of us taking part in the protest, right?

By the way, still waiting for a single substantive argument.

Wednesday, November 02, 2011

Those Damned Slurs

What's Mallard raving about today?

Occupy Wall Street

While scoring 100% on echoing dishonest Fox ad hominem attacks on OWS, Mallard has yet to make a single substantive rebuttal.

In other words, business as usual in the Right Wing.

By the way, I'd like to remind everyone this is the same Mallard Fillmore who decries any claims that Teabaggers are racist.

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

Those damned Protestors

What's Mallard raving about today?

Occupy Wall Street

Nope, Mallard. Everyone in the neighborhood was throwing garbage at you because they hate you.

Keep up your feeble efforts to discredit the protesters, however. Your impotent fury is quite funny to watch.