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Monday, November 14, 2011

That damned Opening

What's Mallard raving about today?

Twilight Saga

His politics aside, on a personal level Mallard Fillmore is more of a prick than inveterate asshole Crankshaft.

Unlike that strip, however, Mallard Fillmore is proud of himself and an avatar.

Frightening, indeed.


Tog said...

Far better comic artists have already driven their stakes through the heart of Meyer's mess long, long ago...with specific reasons for their loathing.

Batshit doesn't know jack about the subject (as usual) but understands that it's hot with the pop-tarts and therefore ITZ TEH DUM, NOT LIEK FUTTBALLZ. He figures he can get a few angry letters out of trolling it, just like his soulmate Big Baby Limbaugh.

Sad little manbaby.

deepbeep said...

Lockhorns: the romantic, early days

dlauthor said...

Once again, one wonders what the hell Chantel sees in such a crotch-displaying, TV-addicted, dogwhistle-spewing, preteen-fancying racist Koch-sucker.

But then, one wonders the same thing about Arlette Tinsley (except one would have to add "drunken failure" to the adjectival litany).

Kip W said...

Ha ha. He's a weasel who will struggle and kick to avoid keeping his word. That's who I want to get my fridge-door opinions from!

Rootbeer said...

Something something alcoholic blackouts etc. etc.

Why should I put any more effort into my comments than Tinsley puts into the strip?

Erich said...

I'm not a fan of "Twilight," but I have a good friend who is. When she asked me to come see the new movie with her after it opens, I accepted. Why? BECAUSE IT WOULD MAKE HER HAPPY.

Taking other people's feelings into account. What a concept.

rewinn said...


I'm not sure that you understand modern "conservativism" at all.

Marion Delgado said...

She needs a break, not a lecture, Mallard.

Bill the Splut said...

Bruce: "Ha ha! Bitches, amIrite? They want to see their stupid movies just because they like dumb stuff! And I graciously offered her a Netflix double feature of Expelled and Atlas Shrugged!"

WV: asmses; if Mallard was a pharaoh, he wouldn't be Ramses, but Assmses.

DiR said...

"I just told her that to shut her up, I didn't think she'd BELIEVE me!"

MartyRotten said...

Mallard has been supporting the Republican party from the beginning so you'd think a movie about soulless bloodsuckers would be right up his alley.

Kip W said...

Wed: Any character you dress up as will be a welcome change, Mallard, because as it is, you have no character at all.

It's so funny how you treat your "girlfriend"! I expect when you heard about Cain's behavior, you smiled to yourself, just a little.

Toots McGee said...

Police Officer: We've had a report of a domestic disturbance. May we come in?
Lout: What's this all about?
P.O.: Your neighbors called us. They heard shouting, threatening language and some one screaming, "No! Please!" We need to make sure everyone is okay. Who is here with you?
Lout: My girlfriend.
P.O.: We need to talk to her. I'm sure you understand sir, we have to take this report seriously.
Lout: Chantal, come out here! The cops want to talk to you.
Chantal: Yes ?
P.O.: Chantal, are you okay? How did you get that bump on your head?
Chantal: He hit me!
P.O.: Is this true? Did you strike her, sir.
Lout: Yes, but...
P.O.: Sir, this is a crime..
Lout: Le'mee explain!
P.O: What do you have to explain? You struck the young lady.
Lout: But she, she....
P.O.: What did she do, sir?
Lout: She kept begging me to take her to that Twilight movie! That stupid Twilight movie! She said I promised to take her, but, well, dammit, it's that stupid Twilight movie!
P.O.: Oh...well...why didn't you say so in the first place? Would you like to borrow my taser and nightstick?

That stupid Twilight movie sketch...amirite? amirite?