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Wednesday, November 16, 2011

That damned Promise

Whats Mallard raving about today?

Twilight Saga

Shorter Mallard Fillmore: I am an insufferably smug asshole with no common decency, humanity, or empathy.

Even Shorter Mallard Fillmore: I am a Republican.

14 comments:

Miss D said...

Tour de France? Who's he kidding? When Tinsley hits the bottle, doesn't he carry on about the "schtinkin' French and their communism" and "bike racing and soccer aren't manly like American football". Maybe he thinks adding Tour de France to his comic will give it a little class and no one will notice that he's a drunken bum.

Frank Stone said...

Ah, so now we know the rest of the story: Mallard DID agree to see the movie as part of a compromise, and is now going back on his word and trying to weasel his way out of his agreement -- in other words, typical Republican behavior.

You know, Mallard/Brucie, there are worse things to be than a Twilight fan -- like someone with no sense of honor.

Anonymous said...

"Shorter Mallard Fillmore: I am an insufferably smug asshole with no common decency, humanity, or empathy.

Even Shorter Mallard Fillmore: I am a Republican. "

Liberal tolerance, wit, and intellect exemplified.

Neo Tuxedo said...

For once, anon has something resembling a point. (I mean, other than the reason his mama always told him to wear a hat.) My dad's a Rockefeller Republican, and I sometimes think the takeover of his party by a bunch of bitter jackholes who hate any kind of love or joy that's not derived from accumulating money is a major factor in his ongoing efforts to drink himself to death.

Kip W said...

Ah, I see Figure 1 for the original comment has arrived.

Kip W said...

(Not you, Neo!)

deepbeep said...

Mallard looks at the viewer as if we're all supposed to emphasize with him. Sorry, Mallard, but every decent person (including Republicans) thinks you're acting like a butthole.

deepbeep said...

To compound his selfishness, the Tour de France is the most boring sport to watch, and lasts multiple days. This is the most lopsided quid-pro-quo since the purchase of Manhattan, and you still want to weasel out of it.

DiR said...

Christ, who colored Chantel today? Is she in blackface? What the hell?

Way to be an insufferable cuntwaffle, Ducks. I especially like how your through process is almost exactly like that of an 8 year old.

We never claim to be tolerant of short-sighted, greedy assholes intent on tearing the world down to their level, Anon. I know that understanding this requires a level of nuance beyond your capabilities, but trust me, it's there,

Bill the Splut said...

Chantel has slate-gray skin and blue hair? I was going to ask what was up with that, but then I noticed that they're both reading from scripts. They're in a cheap 1960s alien invasion movie! Oh, Mallard! Save us all by building a big wall around the Earth!

"Liberal tolerance, wit, and intellect exemplified."

Oh, poor AnonyBruce! Let us take up a donation to buy you a mirror!

Rootbeer said...

WHY

ARE THEY HOLDING PAPERS

David in NYC said...

AnonyTroll would have opposed WWII because it wasn't being very tolerant of Nazis.

Kip W said...

Well, you know, those Nazis were just tree-hugging liberals anyway. We know this because sharp-eyed legacy hire Jonah Goldberg detected the word "Socialist" in there among all their other lies and concluded that this meant they were all a bunch of cross-eyed college professors. If you know what I mean!

Scanman said...

Tour the France takes what 30 days to complete? And he's bitchin's about a two hour movie.