Project Wonderful Banner

Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Those damned Things

What's Mallard raving about today?


Mallard Fillmore is a horrible joyless waterfowl living in a horrible joyless world.


Tog said...

They're also known as "A Collection of Bruce Tinsley's Mallard Fillmore Strips."

...Oh, hey! I just thought of the perfect "revenge gift!!" But no, he'll just spend the money on booze...

Merry War On Christmas!! Have you been saved by Militant Jesus?

dlauthor said...

Clearly, we've all forgotten the true meaning of Christmas, which is bitching about anything and everything until everybody leaves you alone to drink.

Kip W said...

Tinsley wants to make sure people keep giving revenge gifts and useless gifts, because otherwise he'd get no gifts at all. In the words of Tchaikovsky, "What a giftless bastard."

Bill the Splut said...

Didn't he spend a week last year complaining of the qualities of Bruce's--err, Mallard's--gifts? I imagine Bruce's tree is filled with singing fish and Chia Pets every year, but only because lumps of coal are too expensive.

rewinn said...

Ya know, you don't have to limit your gifting to things that are "sold".

We had fun canning tomatoes this year. And we'll have fun giving some of them away at Christmas. I don't know how this pencils out economically, but we know that everyone we give them to loves them because the jars come back with requests for a refill.

I suppose the hours we put into canning could have been spent earning money to spend on stuff shipped here from slave shops overseas, but we like our choice. It makes us happy.

I don't think "Mallard Fillmore" is about people being happy.

Rootbeer said...

Two strips in a row where the punchline is "LOL bad gifts", and the artwork depicting it is an indeterminate brown cube.

Furthermore, The English language is read left-to-right then top-to-bottom, you jackass.

Andrew said...

Every year, my company has a "Secret Santa" exchange- everybody picks a name, we give little dollar store gifts for a week, then a $10-20 gift at the party.

One year. I was in charge, and, having heard various little bitchiness over the years, and because some people who were new didn't understand how it worked, I drew up a little list of how to be a god Secret Santa.

The last thing on the list was this- "You should take more joy in giving a gift that someone will enjoy than you get from receiving a gift".

Someone needs to embroider that on a pillow and nail it to Tinsley's head.

VERIFICATION: "virefla"- what Tinsley thinks the stars are after a few bottles of "research' "Oooh, looka all the li'l virefas! I'm gonna get me a jar and catch me some!"

Frank Stone said...

We can now add "the way quotation marks are used with continuous paragraphs" to the list of things Brucie doesn't understand.

kaitlyn said...

Rewinn - you're a frickin hippie.

Andrew - that last thing is so sweet. When I had the money, I loved looking for and finding the right gift. Or seeing something that jumped out relevant to their interests.

But there is someone I don't like and instead of wasting time and money, I don't buy him shit. It's not "loving" to not talk to him, but it's even more twisted and hateful to talk to him and buy him something crappy.

I have gotten someone a joke gift, but you have to know them. My dad got my sister a plastic cow's head one year. That didn't go over well.

So is he going to whine about gift cards? Does he do that? Other grouches do.