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Wednesday, November 23, 2011

That damned Lesson

What's Mallard raving about today?

Jingoism, Foreigners

Most. Meaningless. Statement. Ever.


Tog said...

So, Batshit thinks America should set the bar, where? Somewhere below Iran? The Soviet Union? North Korea, maybe? I'm sensing a pattern.

When America stops violently installing murderous despots in foreign lands, resulting in revolutions that transform those countries into our mortal enemies, that's when I'll give a fart about your foreign-policy opinions, Batshit.

Note: Mallard Fillmore has apparently learned a grand total of twenty-eight things. Now if only those twenty-eight things weren't complete nonsense...

deepbeep said...

He thinks he's Cato the Younger, but he more closely resembles Lars Unger.

Kip W said...

Because in Mallard's world, there's no middle way between being the bully of the beach and being his sniveling victim. And by God, we ain't gone be no victim!

Kip W said...

Tog, this is actually about the fifth (so to speak) thing he's learned. Counting wasn't among them. Remembering to draw a background wasn't among them. That facial expression used to get him some extra corn and would be #2 in his real list.

Rootbeer said...

The literal text is a sticky mess, but the meaning of the subtext is pretty clear: "I hate foreigners."

I love my country, but it'd be pretty fucking noxious of me to think every other nation in the world ought to be more like us (by force if necessary).

CW in LA said...

I do not think that word means what he thinks it means.

David in NYC said...

That's not even coherent grammatically: other countries practice American jingoism?

Along those lines, maybe tomorrow's Thanksgiving strip will be all about those terrorist Halal turkeys.

WV: pathyoke. Joke told by a sociopath, aka any Mallard Fillmore strip.

exanonymous said...

What is "traditionally American"?

Sarah Palin has her version of "real America".

And then there's the actual majority, which happens to include various cultures all mixed into one wonderful country.

It's part of living in a free country. Why does Mallard hate freedom?

Anonymous said...

Yes, Mallard, when America sends drones in to murder civilians in countries all around the world, it's for a good cause, but if anyone else does it, it's terrorism.

Frank Stone said...

Mallard learning stuff? Now, THAT'S funny!

OK, I'll play:

Stuff I've learned so far #87: Using a big word like "hegemony" does not make up for drawing a comic strip that's almost completely blank.

Stuff I've learned #34 (since we're apparently pulling numbers out of the air): When Mallard blathers about our "traditional way of life", he means "the coloreds have their own damn drinking fountains" and "the women-folk stay in the kitchen and keep their mouths shut" and "you can beat the shit out of the queers and they won't go to the cops 'cuz they'd have to admit they're queers".

DiR said...

egro post proc ad procto hoc vis a vis sic semper quand era pluribus unum. Take THAT, goddamn foreigners!

Someone needs to take away Mallard's Word of the Day calender.

rewinn said...

Today's "comic" makes no sense at all. The problem with Jingoism is its strongly nationalist and belligerent foreign policy, whereas cultural preservation is all about stuff you do in your own country.

The real punchline: We The 99% love America more than Mallard does, because we want our nation to be good and just; Mallard is happy if we're a nation that calls pizza a vegetable.

Tog said...

"Enjoy your damned Halal turkey with Sharia dressing and Islamofascist cranberry sauce, you stupid hippies! We tried to warn you!"

Jingoism? Cultural Preservation? Paranoid Idiocy? You make the call.