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Saturday, November 19, 2011

That damned Toy

What's Mallard raving about today?

Barbie, Middle-Age Mome

Are these the same Moms who need a break, not a lecture? What kind of Nanny State does Mallard want to live in anyway?


Tog said...

Better than "Caribou Barbie," eh, Batshit? No?

I just Googled "Tokidoki Barbie" (tokidoki is Japanese for "sometimes," I don't get it but whatever) and I can see why Batshit's staining the couch over it: that clearly isn't style from the middle of last century. Also, her dog is, uh, dressed as a cactus? Wait, and her dog's name is Bastardino?!? Okay, never mind, I'm backing away slowly. Mattel's clearly looking for trouble and deserves whatever reaction they get.

Nice transition from attacking "moms" out of the blue during the "Twilight" arc to this. Let me guess, Batshit---things a little tense at home? You get thrown out of the basement, or did she cut off your allowance?

ajm said...

Damn the free market for giving a segment of the public what it apparently wants. Damn them to hell!

Toots McGee said...

Limited edition for collector market, free publicity from tut-tutting blowhards, blah blah blah.

Moms are all trashy, smelly tramps now? Jeez, Mallard, chill out.

Kip W said...

Is this a cunning™ trap? We're supposed to reflexively defend this stupid doll because Mallard doesn't like it?

Nice try.

Doing the exact opposite of everything somebody does is handing them control over your life. None for me, thanx.

Bill the Splut said...

"Multiple tattoos and tight, trashy clothes! So here's an ugly drawing of a bloblike woman with 1 tattoo and loose clothes that look like a sack. 'Trashy' means 'shaped like a trash bag,' right?"

Nice work, Bozo. Remember the Barbie that said "Math is hard!"? They should make a Bruce Barbie that says "Cartooning is impossible!"

WV: irwin; no, Bruce, u is fail.

Gold-Digging Nanny said...

To answer your question, DaveyK, Mallard wants to live in a Nanny State where everyone votes Republican, racial profiling is both lawful and encouraged, the government enforces the correct usage of "couldn't care less/could care less" (but does not regulate four-dot ellipses or rhymes that fail to scan), and he is appointed Czar of What Not to Wear. His first target: pop tarts.

rewinn said...

1. What's with the tattoo hate? Did Chantel get a tattoo that Mallard will never see?
Did Mrs. Tinsley get a tattoo that Brewsky will never see?

F'gosh sakes! Some tattoos are nice, some are garbage, like everything else in life.

2. What is "Trashy" about an off-the shoulder t-shirt and leopard-print tights? I mean, seriously, we're talking about a sex doll in highheels that was repurposed before most of us were born into one of the tackyest and most popular toys ever. If Barbie's going to go "trashy" she's gotta show something that would rate at least a PG rating somewhere.

P.S. the cactus-dog is cute!

P.P.S. Conservative pundits measurably less accurate in predictions:

Frank Stone said...

The description of the doll includes the statement "For the adult collector", so apparently Mallard is whinging about middle-aged women who collect Barbie dolls. But I think he's just pissed that he won't get to hide between the aisles of the toy section at his local department store and watch preteen girls purchasing the dolls.

CW in LA said...

I hate to say it, DaveyK, but I'm afraid you're missing Brews' essential point: The people who need a break, not a lecture, are aging wingnut boozehounds who like to drive home toasted on their way to sitting around with their crotch splayed while watching crappy TV or, better yet, young boys making dust-angels on their nasty floor. Just not other people.

DiR said...

I think the crux here is that Barbie is no longer a relevant icon to modern young females, but everyone who grew up with them still -thinks- they are.

It's $50 and only 7400 were made. This is not a toy for your 4 year olds to play with. This is a toy for adults who like collecting radically different and low production count Barbies to collect. That link Tog sent up? Yeah, it says "For the Adult Collector" right there on the page.
The name and the cactus dog implies to me that this was intended to be sold only in Japan, which explain a LOT.

Basically, Bruce is a fucking moron. But you already knew this, because he proves he's fucking moron with his art that contradicts what he wrote down.
Bruce is very, very bad at his job.