Project Wonderful Banner

Thursday, November 17, 2011

That damned Role Model

What's Mallard raving about today?

Twilight, Football

So, Mallard, we get it. You are completely unable to communicate with others and completely lack empathy.

We already got that from your politics, so can we please move on?

16 comments:

Tog said...

Role models? Wha...?

Okay, I'm calling it: Batshit's entered full-blown Ronald Reagan-grade dementia. You know, the type in which someone mentions in passing "I like trains," and Batshit starts screaming about conspiracies involving Martians and dog orgasms and why don't you marry the f*****g train if you love it so much?!?

Frank Stone said...

I'll second that: Where the fug did Mallard get "role models" out of what Chantel said to him?

It's almost like he's a wetbrain or something. No, wait -- it's exactly like that.

dlauthor said...

So basically, when Tinshley's original "giant talking nose comic*" idea was 86'ed by the syndicate, he decided to make a "giant talking asshole" strip instead, and just disguised it by slapping a beak on it. WE GET IT ALREADY.

Seriously, I have no love whatsoever for Twilight, but Jesus Hopscotch Christ, you cranky, dipsomaniacal numbfuck. Let people have their goddamn fun, already.

* True fact for those who mercifully don't know anything about Tinshley's background.

Kip W said...

Chantel is there for diversity. Her gray skin represents the Confederacy, and her blue hair represents the Union.

Total non sequitur? Thanks! And it goes perfectly with the dialog.

Rootbeer said...

"I'm kind of touched...."

Yes.

For instance, you think this strip had a punchline when you wrote it, instead of a baffling non-sequitur.

CW in LA said...

It's funny (but not ha-ha funny, as Ralph Wiggum would observe): Twilight, from what I've seen, is trivial and silly but harmless. Brews Tinshley and his Duck, on the other hand, are trivial and silly but contemptible.

And there's the difference being motivated by lazy, brain-dead hate makes.

Steve-O said...

This ongoing bitching by Tinsley about "Twilight" reminds me of what Chris Rock said about white people bitching about rap music: "It's not FOR you".
Trust me, middle-aged conservative drunk men are not the target demographic for "Twilight".

Boggled said...

I think we're missing the point. This is a metaphor for Congress. Chantel, standing in for Democrats, capitulated previously in exchange for vague assurances that Mallard, standing in for Republicans, would do something in the future. Mallard, however, has no intention of honoring that bargain or of compromising in any way.

Mind you, we may have missed the metaphor because, like everything Mallard Fillmore does, the metaphor sucks.

Chantel didn't go all the way and sell out her very soul in this exchange, so she doesn't really represent the Democrats.

Mallard, for his part, is an extremely bad stand-in for the Republicans because he pretended to agree to a compromise (as opposed to refusing to budge at all) and, now, while refusing to honor the compromise is actually admitting he's reneging, rather than completely re-writing history (e.g., lying).

Andrew said...

So, as I read it the "joke" is that Mallard is saying "oh, so the idiots who paint their chests at football games are your role models. (smirk)".

Obviously, he doesn't realize was what she meant was "everyone has their silly, stupid things they do to celebrate their choice of entertainment."

Also- isn't Chantal based on Bruce's wife? So, can we assume that this is based on something that actually happened with them?

Bruce, sorry that you're married to a woman who dresses up for "Twilight". Just remember- she's trying to escape into a fantasy to escape her real life. And, who could blame her?

(Yeah, that's probably going too far. But, raeall, a week of strips about "Twilight'? And no even a criticism of what's wrong with it, but just "I don't like it! BLEEEAH!" Pathetic.)

Verification- thityp: The sound my lips and tongue make towards Mallard- TTTTHHHHIIITTTYYYYPPP!

rewinn said...

New Theory:

Mallard is Calvin.
Chantel is Hobbes.

How could Chantel possibly put up with Mallard's abuse if she were anything but an imaginary friend embodied as a blow-up doll?

Bill the Splut said...

Q: Why are they both carrying around papers?

A: Mallard isn't housebroken.

Q: Why are they holding them at chest level?

A: His shit comes out of both ends.

deepbeep said...

It looks like they're reading off scripts. Of the dumbest play ever written.

DiR said...

Rewinn: You just blew my mind. Have we ever seen anyone else interact with Chantel?

I'll give Bruce some credit, not many cartoonists would show themselves completely floundering and out-classed, after having their argument smacked down like mayfly.

Anonymous said...

Next, are we going to see the duck attacking the new Muppet movie?

Marion Delgado said...

Also. for FUCK'S sake. Rocky Horror Picture Show! Also: Star Wars. Or is the 70s still too new and strange for Mallard Tinsley?

Kip W said...

Hmmm. I'd say that Chantel's role model could be somebody who paints their body weird colors, based on the visual evidence in the strip. And it's also quite possible that she's patterned after Obama, the great conceder. I think the point that's been missed is that Mallard didn't actually acquiesce to anything — Chantel probably did all the talking. "Okay, so if I go to your sporting event, then I'm sure you'll man up and go to a later event of my choosing, which will be the the next Twilight movie. If this is the case, signify by silently looking out at the viewer like you've just made another one of your so-called points. Then we're agreed."

On the other hand, rewinn's theory is tempting, particularly as it involves wholesale stealing from a much better comic.