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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

That damned Future

What's Mallard raving about today?

Graduate School.

I know this will come as a huge shock, but Mallard Fillmore doesn't understand how Graduate School works.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

That damned Ban

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama.

Mallard's concern over the oil drilling ban is because it's hurting workers.

Right.

Monday, June 28, 2010

Those damned Policies

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, BP's Oil Disaster.

At first glance, you'd kind of assume Mallard is suggesting that President Obama's policies toward offshore drilling caused the BP's disaster in the Gulf.

But I think he's making a more general comment on President Obama's policies which are, despite adding jobs throughout 2010, in fact killing off all job growth in America.

Either way, reality need not be heeded.

And, nice to know the single worst environmental catastrophe in American history is there for Mallard to score cheap points. Stay classy.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Those damned Violins

What's Mallard raving about today?

Violins, TV.

In 2010, Mallard Fillmore discovered a correlation between the soundtrack and on-screen action.

For what it's worth, he also believes characters on TV should be aware of the soundtrack.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

That damned issue

What's Mallard raving about today?

Democrats

Hmmm, maybe Republicans are a wholly owned and operated subsidiary of BP?

Or maybe Republicans hat America and are happy for the economy to fail in the hope that it benefits them at the ballot box?

Friday, June 25, 2010

That damned Beer

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama, Regulation, Beer.

Well, at least Mallard is being honest about what matters to him.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Those damned Subsidies

What's Mallard raving about today?

Farm Subsidies, Politics.

Farm subsidies? Really? Hot topic at Mallard Fillmore HQ are they? Or did Glenn Beck just vomit something about Farm subsidies up recently?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

That damned Disappointment

What's Mallard raving about today?

BP's Oil Disaster, President Obama

Hey, Mallard finally gets around to the fact that BP is filling the Gulf of Mexico with Oil!

And you know whose to blame? If you'd been keeping up with your Fox/RNC talking points, you'd know that it's President Obama, of course! After all, he was elected for his ability to cap oil wells at the bottom of the ocean.

And besides, the Republicans believe the Free Market solves everything, except this catastrophe. This is all the Government's fault for not fixing it.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

That damned Bike

What's Mallard raving about today?

Gifts, Fathers.

Mallard Fillmore, mocking anyone able to find a glimmer of happiness in their lives.

Monday, June 21, 2010

That damned Card

What's Mallard raving about today?

Father's Day, Cards.

I think Mallard's attempting honest sentimentality.

Unfortunately, the only facial expression he knows how to draw (or, rather, the only emotion we've ever attached to the one facial expression he knows how to draw) is smug disdain and superiority. So, it looks like that guy is mocking his son.

At that level (being an asshole), it fits in with the rest of the Mallard Fillmore oeuvre.

That said...Father's Day was yesterday you fucking moron.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Those damned Interns

What's Mallard raving about today?

Interns.

Still no mention of BP destroying the Gulf of Mexico, but plenty of space available to regale us with complaints about the work ethic of Summer Interns.

From Mallard Fillmore, whose own exemplary work ethic resulted in this diatribe against nose hair.

By the way, Republicans are ashamed of America, you should be too. Please apologize to BP.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Those damned Incumbents

What's Mallard raving about today?

Incumbents, News.

To Mallard, and others who "think" in lockstep with Fox News...yet more proof of their own bias.

To anyone else, utterly mystifying.

Friday, June 18, 2010

That damned Mullet

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fish, Political Correctness.

BP is filling the Gulf of Mexico with oil, which makes it especially important to follow-up a discussion of nose hairs with a screed about political correctness after Mallard realized there's both a haircut and a fish called "Mullet".

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Those damned Hairs

What's Mallard raving about today?

Dentists, Nose Hairs.

Mallard, gas does not cause hallucination. Stop doing LSD, you hippie.

I won't be surprised to see this one sitting atop the Golden Flash list come award time next year.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

That damned Flap

What's Mallard raving about today?

President Obama.

Imagine that, the "flap" actually died away of its own stupidity. And here's Mallard, still flogging it.