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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

That damned Bike

What's Mallard raving about today?

Gifts, Fathers.

Mallard Fillmore, mocking anyone able to find a glimmer of happiness in their lives.


Randy said...

OK, I don't know a lot about modern bicycles. Are "Neuvation" and "sram red" real terms/brands? Or something Mallard pulled out of his cloaca?

Frank Stone said...

Two days in a row? Really? Are we to understand that Father's Day is now on the list of things that Bruce Tinsley hates?

And what's with the superfluous extra "Chet....", Brucie? Did you forget you already put one in the second panel? (I suppose it's understandable, what with the "research" blackouts and all.)

Tog said...

" escrow against future aftershave and 'As Seen On TV' products..."


See, Batshit, this is what happens when you work without your daily talking points memo (or, as you call them, "orders"). You're like Junior Bush; when you go off-script, you're completely lost.

Leave the ranting about crass commercialization of cherished holidays to the professionals. They'll tell you what to say.

Oh! Speaking of talking points memos and "As Seen On TV," ya gotta love the bright, shining, conservative stars of the GOP:

(quote) Former Rep. J.D. Hayworth (R-AZ), who is currently challenging Sen. John McCain in the Republican primary on a right-wing platform, had an interesting job for a time in 2007: Appearing as an infomercial pitchman -- for a company telling people that they can get free grant money from the federal government (...) which the infomercial's on-screen text pitched as being "FREE MONEY" in quotes. (endquote)

This does not surprise me in the least. How about you, Batshit?

Iron Dragon said...

Ok...this is just weird and rather nonsensical. Is he saying that everyone is giving each other presents on fathers day now (IE a complaint that more and more holidays are becoming big gift giving holidays) if so he set it up rather badly. If that wasn't it...I don't really know what this one is supposed to be. It's sort of like mad libs, only less comprehensible.

Kip W said...

So he's putting something that's cutting edge today in escrow against the day he has kids who buy him cheap junk from the TV. At which point today's shining toy will be too quaint to use and not old enough to be collectible.

You can tell whose sock puppet Chet is. Can't write a character smarter than yourself.

dlauthor said...

Randy: Yes, those are real cycling-type things. Tinshley is a bike nerd -- presumably because he doesn't do as much damage when he drunkenly drives his bike into a tree, and certainly not for any Eeeevil Librul reasons like "the environment" or "health." It's like college football, abysmal poetry, and bathtub gin: something he's into that he assumes, quite wrongly, that anyone reading his strip loves to the same extent, and isn't incredibly bored by. He is, in fact, wrong.

Rootbeer said...

I spent a good minute trying to figure out what Chet's panel-o-text was supposed to say; surely it wasn't "SRAM RED", so what was it?

Mallard Fillmore is like a Slylock Fox strip with no solution.

word veri: oviewsec. Another brand of bicycle that Chet considered buying.

Toots McGee said...

So if I have this right, I can follow the Tinz's example, create a character or two that are dicks and then I'll have a wildly successful comic called "People are Dicks (AmIright?)"

rewinn said...

"... I'll have a wildly successful comic called "People are Dicks (AmIright?)"

If you peddle it as a rightwing strip that balances out the socialist "Dagwood" (ya notice how he carpools???) ... then you, like Mallard, can be in "up to 400" newspapers daily.

Take the money!

deepbeep said...

This is what Chet looks like with his facial features removed. That is all.

Tinsley: Sociopath said...

Joe Lieberman, fake liberal has proposed a terrible idea:

This has the potential for enormous disaster: It is the potential shutdown of the world's most important communication system. It is the ultimate form of censorship, and if it can happen to the Internet, no medium is safe.

We must do something about this--protests, angry letters, something, I do not know--because this could produce an incredible enormity. This is such an evil, retarded idea that Tinsley might support it!