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Thursday, June 17, 2010

Those damned Hairs

What's Mallard raving about today?

Dentists, Nose Hairs.

Mallard, gas does not cause hallucination. Stop doing LSD, you hippie.

I won't be surprised to see this one sitting atop the Golden Flash list come award time next year.


Sigma said...

What the shit

Tog said...

I think this is Batshit's way of saying he's officially given up.

Oh, sure, he's still paid to carry water for the Whacko Wing, so he'll still fart weakly at Obama, but I expect that within a month, he'll have Mallard saying, "...and what's the deal with airline food?!?"

Kip W said...

It's so touching. Tin's trying to be humorous!

I'll guess that this is one of his "bunny strips" that gets pulled out in emergencies. Only his emergencies aren't that something is too controversial and cuts too close to the bone, but that he's got a week's worth of strips on a nonstarting nonissue from three weeks ago that was supposed to have been a hot-button issue by now.

So he pulled the plug on this one on a Thursday. His reaction time is improving.

Anonymous said...

As I've said before, he's actually challenging newspapers to fire him. "Look, I can puke up all over the editorial page and people pay to see it!"

WV: "unavoli" - a radical new twist to ravioli, Scandinavian modern style.

deepbeep said...

It's an improvement from seeing figures on the underneath side of the bar. Or, later, the ceiling of his moving vehicle.

Toots McGee said...

Great, and this on the day I have to go to the dentist.

Come to think of it, I think my dentist (and her dental techs/hygienists) use surgical masks that cover their mouth and nose, so I won't be looking for any potatoes.

Mallard's dentist is obviously some kind of creep who doesn't use standard precautions for reducing the spread of infections.

From now on, I'd like to see a word balloon from off panel asking "Is the gas working yet?" in all Mallard strips. I think would increase the overall coherence.

Re:previous comment from anony, I was thinking the same thing. The only paper I've ever seen with Mallard printed in it is the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review which has this horrid editorial page where the daily Mallard appears. I was picturing the editorial folks laying out their daily Malkin\Coulter\Krauthammer stuff and then looking down at this bit of funny business from Tinsley and thinking, "WTF?, how much are we paying for this crap again?"

John Ball said...

I'm calling the DTs, myself.

rewinn said...


A comic about snotballs ... in someone else's nose!

And ... newspapers have to print this to show "balance" against Doonesbury, which is actually funny and relevant.

Maybe I need to do a "conservative" cartoon. It's gotta be easier than working!

dlauthor said...

Mallard's dentist is obviously some kind of creep who doesn't use standard precautions for reducing the spread of infections.

Tinshley's dentist is this guy he knows who uses a dremel and a pair of vice-grips out in the parking lot of the Cozy Lounge, and the gas is actually carbon monoxide from the exhaust pipe of his truck. In true neocon fashion, Tinshley gives the job to the lowest bidder, all other factors be damned.

exanonymous said...

Since my encounters with dentists tend to be along the lines of:
"Any problems with your cavities? Wait, you don't have cavities? " I can't really relate. I've been put under once, to total unconsciousness for wisdom teeth removal. I could never get into the "dentists, amirite?" jokes since my trips tended to be very painless and short.

I guess that's just one more way I'm the liberal elite and not an average joe.

Neo Tuxedo said...

@Kip W: I think it's an emergency strip, only (as I've said before) the emergency is that he actually said something legally actionable, rather than snidely implying it in such a way that everyone knows what he meant (especially the target audience of the dog-whistle in question) but no lawyer would be able to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt.

Steve-O said...

Ok, I give up. What's this "comic" supposed to be about again? I don't get it.

Tinsley: Sociopath said...

Tinsley thinks that doctors are Jews, therefore, they want to poison us, take our money, and sacrifice us to Satan.

dlauthor said...

Man, I hope Tinshley's weekly spell where he's just sober enough to scrawl a series of strips* happened early this afternoon. If a fortnight or so from now we have a week of strips extolling Joe Barton's courage in kissing BP's ass while slamming his country (right or wrong, offer applicable only under a Republican president), I will be a happy happy man.

* Though not to drive, of course.

DharmaPete said...

Inside Tinshley's pickled brain:

Those bloodsucking, money-grubbing dentists want to knock me out so they can steal the gold in my teeth. I think I'll have my duck mock dentists. The irony is, ducks don't have any teeth. Dur-hur-hur-hur!!! I'm so funny!!! Who cares about the oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico. It's not like it's the Gulf of America. Let all those illegals drown in the oil. So what if all those fisherman are out of work. As long as I can get the 200 for $10 fish sticks at Sam's, I'm happy. That leaves more money for booze!!!! Now, where did I leave Old Grandad?

Randy said...

The other reason Mallard's/Tinsley's dentist doesn't wear a mask, of course, is because The Duck won't have any truck with professionals who believe in that newfangled sciency germ theory stuff. It's just a theory!

Kaitlyn said...

For once, he's ahead of the curve, instead of 2 months behind. (Forgetting Veteran's Day cracks me up even now.)

Clearly, he knows that the new joke used by hack comedians will revolve around nose hair - but only the nose hair of dentists. And we're mocking him.

I haven't been to the dentist in a long time (no insurance and no emergencies... or I have insurance, but the copays are outrageous) but I don't remember nose hairs. Or noses in general. And I never experienced that other dentist-related "joke" where they ask you questions after sticking things in your mouth.

And I've never had gas for the dentists, but I've had gas for surgical procedures when the IV doesn't knock me out, and they take away my glasses and my vision swims around... and unlike TV shows, I've never had a dream (or remembered one) after being knocked out.

Because him hallucinating as the gas kicks in is the only way this could work.

But wait... why doesn't he have a mask on? Yeah, it would be hard to draw, but they don't just pump it into the room!

That was my attempt at making sense of this. And I still don't get it.

WV - reranis, which makes me think of the Bollywood actress Rani Mukherjee, which makes this all better.

Kip W said...

dlauthor: Cheap at all costs is a consideration, but there are other factors that weigh heavily in a Gop's choices for how to spend money from the public trough. Does this contractor know Dick Cheney? Does he contribute to my re-election fund? Will he pay for mass purchases of my crappy book to be given away later and inflate my statistics? (Okay, that last one isn't much of an issue for the Duckfather.) Cheapness figures in everything that goes to other people, to be sure, but if a Republican is spending money — especially public money — on himself, then everything's gotta be gold-plated.

It's complicated.

(Neo: Here's where Tin's long-term strategy of being completely incoherent most of the time comes in. Proving that he's even said anything can be extremely tricky.)