That damned ACORN

What's Mallard raving about today?

ACORN, Barack Obama.

When an article starts like this, you know it's going to be a fair-minded recitation of facts and not an axe-grinding right-wing smear.

What exactly does a "community organizer" do? Barack Obama's rise has left many Americans asking themselves that question. Here's a big part of the answer: Community organizers intimidate banks into making high-risk loans to customers with poor credit.

The Party of Personal Responsibility continues to deny any responsibility for what happened while it was in power of every branch of the Government.

If true, that would mean they are an incompetent bunch of spineless idiots. If not true (also know as "in reality") Republicans suck at managing the economy while Democrats are pretty good at it. But, of course, reality has a well-known liberal bias.

Either way, sucks to be a Republican, although not as much as it sucks to be living under Republicans.

That damned Barney Frank

What's Mallard raving about today?

Barney Frank, Affordable Housing, Fannie Mae, Freddie Mac.

Five years ago? Five years ago Barney Frank said they were sound?

Yeah, because that's exactly the same as John McCain saying "The fundamentals of our economy are strong" mere moments before the economy melted down completely.

That damned borrower

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Economy.

Mallard simplifies the economic crisis down for you.

Soul-patched, earring-adorned, tank-top wearing borrowers asked for loans they should not have been granted. They have not learned their lesson and are still asking.

Bankers have learned their lesson and are no longer offering loans to them.

Of course, bankers are now forced to sit in pink chairs befitting their status as the ultimate Socialists after the bailout.

That damned Straw Costume

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hallowe'en, Barack Obama, Racism.

On the weekend after John McCain was booed by his own supporters for simply saying that Barack Obama was a "decent person" that they did not have to be "scared" of, I'm in absolutely no mood to be lectured by Mallard about how Liberals and Democrats are the racists in this election.

The fact that it comes in the form of one of the most preposterous Straw Man arguments ever to appear in Mallard Fillmore in no way mitigates my feelings.

Those damned judges

What's Mallard raving about today?

Judges, Elections.

I don't know what's stranger.

The construction of the sentence in today's Mallard Fillmore. That where Mallard lives people running for judge have enough cash to run TV commercials. Or that Mallard believes it is possible to cram something of substance into a 30-second TV spot.

Given his obsessive relationship with TV, however, I suppose that last possibility is not so strange.

That damned bailout

What's Mallard raving about today?

Taxpayers, Bailouts.

Since the Republicans are the ones who have privatized profit and socialized loss, I think you'll have to wait until after November 4, or perhaps more accurately January 20, when they finally get booted from power after almost a decade of egregious mismanagement and outright criminal behavior.

That damned Monster

What's Mallard raving about today?

Monsters, Freddie Mac, Fannie Mae.

Bad poetry, Republican talking points, no sense.

It's Mallard Fillmore!

The Party of Personal Responsibility's explanation for the roots cause of a crisis which developed while it was in power of every branch of Government: It was someone else's fault.

Mallard can blame the Community Reinvestment Act all he wants, but as far as I understand the system of American Government, the Republicans could have repealed the Act, just like they did Habeus Corpus.

On November 4, we're going to force them own their failure, even if they don't have the courage to own up to their responsibility.

Those damned borrowers

What's Mallard raving about today?

Borrowers, Lenders, Taxpayers.

Right on schedule, except for the color of the borrower's skin, Mallard is blaming the American people for the economic meltdown.

That damned Dodd

What's Mallard raving about today?

Senator Dodd, Fanny Mae, Freddy Mac.

He most certainly did say that, and he was wrong. Shall we now discuss other people who were equally wrong?

Anyone want to take bets on whether John McCain or the entire Bush Administration get mentioned?

That damned drilling

What's Mallard raving about today?

Drilling, Wall Street Bailouts.

How many of you made the same mistake I did and first read this as "Drill Her, Drill Now..."?

At any rate, it's pretty rich for Mallard to compare a bailout necessitated by an economic crisis caused by Republican deregulation of the Banking industry with Republican efforts to deregulate Oil Industry drilling.

Mallard's inability to spot his own unintended irony is one of my greatest joys on this blog.

I anxiously look forward to finding out later this week why the Democrats, Liberals, Feminists, Barack Obama, Al Sharpton, and Jesse Jackson are to blame for this mess, rather than the Republicans.

That damned vote

What's Mallard raving about today?

Voting.

Mallard admits that he prefers Oligarchy to Democracy.

At least this contains an implicitly hilarious joke: Mallard believes he will be a member of the Elite in the Oligarchy he craves.

That damned panty raid

What's Mallard raving about today?

Feminists, Jesse Jackson, Al Sharpton

OK, I think this has devolved as far as it possibly can. Therefore I am anxiously looking forward to Monday to see how Mallard proves me wrong.

That damned cheer

What's Mallard raving about today?

Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson.

Incredible hypocrisy from a duck whose primary mode of discourse is to posit that "some people say [incendiary-but-not-credible-thing]" and then mock the made up position.

In other words: The straw pot calling the straw kettle black...so to speak.

Note: I'd take cheer from the fact that Mallard appears convinced that Obama is going to win the election if it weren't for the fact that the next time he is right about something it will be the first time.

That damned intolerance

What's Mallard raving about today?

Feminists, Sarah Palin.

I am totally confused.

Isn't voting against someone whose positions are antithetical to everything you believe known as "Democracy"?

Would this Straw Man argument be any more or less accurate if it showed an "aging Neo-Con" who won't vote for Barack Obama because he is handsome, pro-choice, liberal, and black?

Or is the point that only liberals and feminists desire to be known as "tolerant" (the aging Neo-Con is perfectly happy being known as an intolerant bigot) so the criticism of this Straw Man is that they are a hypocrite?

Seriously, what the hell is Mallard even trying to say?

Additional comment: at first I thought it said "petty, pro-life, conservative woman" which is pretty much why many people won't vote for Palin, except that Mallard forgot to mention that she is also dangerously unqualified.

That damned Aging Feminist

What's Mallard raving about today?

Racism, Feminists, Barack Obama, Al Sharpton, Jesse Jackson, Sarah Palin.

Since Mallard is pretty much taking the day off, so will I.

Just combine my comments from this day and this day and you have my comment for today.