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Monday, October 13, 2008

That damned borrower

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Economy.

Mallard simplifies the economic crisis down for you.

Soul-patched, earring-adorned, tank-top wearing borrowers asked for loans they should not have been granted. They have not learned their lesson and are still asking.

Bankers have learned their lesson and are no longer offering loans to them.

Of course, bankers are now forced to sit in pink chairs befitting their status as the ultimate Socialists after the bailout.


Matt Ramone said...

Trickle up economics is un-ah-murcan!

Sigma said...

That dude's hair is too neat for him to be sporting a soul patch. It's obvious the straightened hair isn't because he was dressing up for a visit to the bank, what with the hideous tank top, so what the hell?

And he also might be gay, depending on what's on the other side of his head. As if said hideous tank top wasn't already an indication.

Duck Hunter said...

Dude: "Hi... I have no artistic talent, no writing skill, no coherent philosophy besides hating anybody and anything different from me and my circumstances, and nothing positive or constructive to say about contemporary issues and public figures...

"... and I want to draw a political comic strip.

Executive: "I’m sorry. That position is already occupied by Bruce Tinsley."

Anonymous said...

So, Mallard thinks that flamboyantly gay hippies borrowed $700billion in bad loans? Seriously, WTF is up with that character?

rewinn said...

"...flamboyantly gay hippies borrowed $700billion in bad loans?..."


The problem, in Reichwing world, is always imprudent individuals who do individual bad things, like ask for money when they can't even put on a shirt with sleeves. (Let's not discuss the earring, shall we?)

Reichwingers never ask the question "Why did mortgages lenders make stupid loans to badly dressed people?" because that would mean admitting the problem is the market in unregulated securities.

In Realityworld, no-one would make such a bad loan EXCEPT that an unregulated lender who packs them and sells the lot as securities. The lender's agent is paid by volume, not quality, so there is a positive incentive to shovel out crap. Meanwhile, a million bad loans became the basis of Triple-A rated securities ... and you know the rest.

Tinsley can't talk about this because the solution is (A) to regulate securities to ensure they're backed by REAL assets, and (B) to pay for the regulation and the occasional bail-out by restoring the Securities Transaction Excise Tax ... 25 cents per 100 dollars, which we had until 1966 and most advanced nations still have some form of.

But Regulation and Taxation, in Reichwing world, is worse than economic collapse.

GeoX said...

I'll bet the real reason he can't get alone is that he appears to be dressed as a caveman. That's not gonna inspire confidence in anyone.

rewinn said...

goex - the "bailout package" should've included fashion tips!!!!!!

exanonymous said...

Communism is taking over the country! Run for the hills, or you too might end up the victim of Fred Flintstone impersonators.

See? SEE? This is more of what to expect when you vote for Obama. Plus, he's a terrorist.

Vote Palin/McCain 2008. We'll bless the witchcraft out of you.

Kaitlyn said...

That applicant is almost as disturbing as a Plugger.

I'm surprised at Tinz for having a white man (however strangely attired).

His eyes scare me.

As for what he's saying, check out this article at slate.

But that's too complicated, and the rich are better than us, after all, they're rich and you'd be rich if you just tried harder.

Question - last week, Mallard whined about non-rich people paying taxes. But he also doesn't want the richest to pay taxes. So who's going to pay taxes? They are used for more than just paying politicians, you know.

Anonymous said...

Sorry for stealing someone else's idea but it has to be said:

Corrected comic:

15 years ago:

Banker: You have a $20,000 income and want a mortgage. Here, have a $500,000 home at 2% per year.

Retarded customer: Me cannot repay this! Please, give me another house!

Banker: No problem, you can skip payments, take some time off from paying, whatever is convenient!

Retarded customer: Duh that sounds perfect! Me take it!

Banker (thinking:) When the price of that house increases, I will reposess it and become even richer (maniacal laughter!)!

Bill Clinton (a terrible President and fuck anyone who says otherwise:) Sure, do whatever the fuck you want! I will lower the interest rate and reduce the maximum time period for Welfare to 5 years!

Old men: Our interest rates are so low that we can no longer keep money in the bank! Fuck, we will have to invest in the stock market!

8 years later:

George Herbert Walker "Retarded Monkey" Bush, Junior (a trillion times shittier:) Sure, banks I have no problem with your practices! Stay the course, "you're with us or you're the enemy."

Old men: Oh fuck, Clinton's terrible policies have caused the stock market to become overburdened and collapse! We lost our Welfare because he reduced the time to 5 years! Let us take whatever shit we have left and putin the housing market!

Seven years later:

Old men: Oh fuck, the housing market has collapsed! Damn Clinton and Bush straight to Hell for allowing this!

Banker: My house is losing money! I have no hope of seeing a profit! Get out of the house forever, you punk ass bitch!

Retarded customer dies in poverty on the street.

Neither any banker nor Bill Clinton was liberal or a kind man. Both were extremely corrupt, elitist, heartless sons of bitches who caused the economic crisis, abused the common man and attemot to make fortunes by torturing innocents. I am glad that Hillary, who supported Bill, lost the nomination and hope she never again tries.

Anonymous said...

One last panel in the corrected comic:

Bruce Tinsley: I love a happy ending!

Michael said...

You guys are reading the comic wrong. The caveman is the banker, and the bald guy is a taxpayer.

GeoX said...

Did I really say "can't get alone?" How the hell did THAT happen?

Guy Fawkes said...

Wow! Just found this blog! A genuine, non-snarky "thanks."

Finally a place where I can feel free to say, "well, today's Mallard FIllmore really sucks, doesn't it?"

I know, I know ...

(but thanks anyway)