What's Mallard raving about today?
Steve Jobs, iPhone, iPad.
Come on, Mallard. Give in. Just draw the rocking chair, the shotgun, and yell "Get offa my lawn!"
Unsurprisingly, no one has ever written something like this about Mallard Fillmore because, unlike Apple products, no one cares about Mallard Fillmore.
12 comments:
So THIS is what Tinsley considers timely and fresh? Someone ELSE sitting in front of the Blob Tube?
Nope. I honestly believe Tinsley's going for pity now, because he's finally accepted that as the alternative to absolute-bare-minimum effort.
(Bop on over to Talking Points Memo and read up on the "false flag" memo. You'll see why Tinsley got orders to play up the ZOMG PROTESTORZ VYOLENT NAO!!1 nonsense.)
He's jonesing for the days when programs were interrupted for non-news about Nancy Reagan. What's happened to this country that used to be worthy of his love?
I'm intrigued by the look of despair on the face of John Q. Public here. Oddly enough, it seems that the only facial expression Tinsley is capable of drawing is the "5 seconds from putting the barrel of a gun in my mouth" look.
"Paging Dr. Freud, Paging Dr. Freud".
I'm starting to wonder: What's the longest stretch that Tinsley has gone WITHOUT drawing someone in front of a television set?
What's the record for the longest, continuous stretch of nothing but TVs?
Good question, anon. And I wonder if he'll ever start drawing what TV sets actually look like in this crazy 21st century world, instead of the sets current in 1975?
Bruce Tinsley is a lot like an executive at the Apple Corporation: He claims to be an innocent defender of the common man, but in reality, is a rich, greedy monopolistic asshole who wants to take everyone's money with his inferior overpriced product. Mallard Fillmore has even less humor than Macintoshes have video games. Wasting money on a gross of Apple's $5,000 single core bricks, regardless of the existence of $800 quad core P.C.s, is a wiser investment than spending one millisecond reading Mallard Fillmore.
Also, Tinsley hates technology news because he wants the world to return to the Stone Age, when he thinks everyone was white.
And, once again, we see that the universe in which Mallard Fillmore lives is a sad, joyless place.
Alcoholism is like that, really. That's why they drink.
@anon (7:00AM): And I must further wonder, what would be the survival rate of those who would brave the MF archives to research* the longest such runs in MF history?
* Not "research" in the Tinshleyian sense, obviously.
Tinsley: Sociopath said..."Bruce Tinsley is a lot like an executive at the Apple Corporation: He claims to be an innocent defender of the common man, but in reality, is a rich, greedy monopolistic asshole who wants to take everyone's money with his inferior overpriced product."
So this is what it's all about...if your neighbor has an I-Pad and I-Phone and you cannot afford them, well that's just not fair. Continue to vote for Obama and perhaps he will buy them for you.
As the commercial says - "If you don't have an I-Phone then you don't have an I-Phone!
I can afford Apple products, but I have no interest in things that are overpriced and have no games, you selfish asshole!
Word Verification: Genur, Mallard Fillmore is so inane that it cannot be placed in any genre and fall into the genur.
Too bad we don't have those figures on how many days we've looked at the Duck's crotch, so I'd know what value of X to put into "Things We Don't Want to Look At Any More #X."
I've had it with all these MF ducks on this MF chair!
(Whoops, accidentally deleted the part where I said this was a comment on Saturday's strip. I should save this one to a macro so I can use it every time we're left trying to look anywhere but the slightly soiled feathers between those stumpy orange legs.)
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