What's Mallard raving about today?
TROOOOF TO POWAAAAR!!!1Nobody tells it like Tinsley!
GODDAM PEPSICRATS HATE THEM SO MUCH
God help us if Wild Turkey ever switches to a skinny bottle.
Tinsley can't have a thought of any kind without putting it into the strip.
Hey, this strip is actually funny(much in the same way that Sarah Palin did well during the vice-presidential debate, in that she didn't completely implode...)
Is Mallard not fired anymore?
The obvious answer is that Tinsley, incompetent hack that he is, forgot about that little "storyline," but I prefer to think that, after years of alcohol abuse and disproportionate rage at every trivial thing that bugs him, Mallard's finally suffered a complete dissociative break and now he's just sitting on a park bench, reading newspaper headlines out loud as though he were an anchor, and slowly freezing to death. His last words will undoubtedly be "if global warming is real, then how come it's cold out?"
Tinsley, and his Republican cronies want to deflect attention onto a minor flaw so that the greedy executives in the soda companies can escape punishment for something much worse. Recent studies, using a statistically-significant 2,500 subjects, have shown that the Aspartame in soda causes vascular problems, hypertension, and strokes. This applies to those who drink one can per day. I find it very hard to believe that the companies did not test for things like this, and we must spread the word before the assholes bury the lede. (http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41479869/ns/health-diet_and_nutrition/, http://www.theheart.org/article/1183721.do, http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/171176-diet-soda-linked-to-vascular-problems) Feel free to keep searching: Those are a mere few of innumerable recent articles showing these results.Word Verification: Nowigin, Tinsley is now in gin, grain alcohol, hooch, whiskey, and every other American alcohol he can force down his throat.
This is me backing away slowly and not making any sudden movements.
The thing is, do nude preteen Asian boys from next door lying next to you make you look fat? And when can Mallard Fillmore readers find out?
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