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Monday, June 18, 2012

That damned Slogan

What's Mallard raving about today?

Mitt Romney

June 17, 2012: Mallard Fillmore endorses Mitt Romney.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

That damned Answer

What's Mallard raving about today?

Fathers

Leave it to Mallard to make a political point out of Father's Day. Also, leave it to Mallard to cite a government child welfare site when criticizing the government.

But, beyond all that...what is your suggestion when the child does not have a Dad who loves and cares for him/her, Mallard?

According to Republican doctrine, exemplified by Representative Ryan's budget plan, your plan appears to be: fuck them and cut all funding to help them so billionaires can keep more of their money.

But, perhaps I am missing a nuance somewhere.

Saturday, June 16, 2012

That damned Pat on the Head

What's Mallard raving about today?

Only Mallard knows

And, so, on June 16, 2012, Mallard Fillmore officially crossed the line from whatever he was previously into a comic equivalent of that schizophrenic drunk guy on the corner with sign so full of conspiracy theories that you can't possibly read it as you walks past him.

Congratulations.

Friday, June 15, 2012

That damned Rumor

What's Mallard raving about today?

Hillary Clinton, Joe Biden

In 2008, the rift between Candidate Obama and Hillary Clinton was going to doom his Presidential bid, according to concern-troll Mallard.

In 2012, the rift is between Secretary of State Clinton and Vice President Biden.

Plus, Vice President Biden is a font of slurs and obscenities. There are after all, upwards of 2 specific examples Mallard can point to in the last 6 years.

In a nutshell, this is the level of rational thought of which Mallard Fillmore is capable.

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

That damned Poll

What's Mallard raving about today?

Supreme Court, Americans

Over 80% of Republicans in Alabama and Mississippi believe President Obama is not a Christian. And over 60% don't believe in Evolution.

So what is your point?

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

That damned Name Change

What's Mallard raving about today?

Names

Day 2 of Mallard's "Making Fun of People's Names" series. If this lasts into Day 3, I may have to stop posting.

Monday, June 11, 2012

Those damned Names

What's Mallard raving about today?

Baby Names

45 words, just to make fun of someone's unusual name. Bravo. Haven't been exposed to something that witty since the 2nd grade. Your parents must be so proud.

Sunday, June 10, 2012

That damned Little Stuff

What's Mallard raving about today?

Voter ID Laws

I mean, it's not like, historically, Voter ID Laws have ever been used to keep anyone from legitimately voting, right?

Plus, there's mountains of evidence showing massive voter fraud, right?

Saturday, June 09, 2012

Friday, June 08, 2012

That damned Future

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Future, Young People

Ha! Ha! It's funny because today's youth are fucked.

Thursday, June 07, 2012

That damned Job

What's Mallard raving about today?

Jobs, Education

Was it really necessary to add "Drive-Thru"? Wouldn't "McDonald's" suffice?

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

That damned Wake-Up Call

What's Mallard raving about today?

Students, American Idol, Supreme Court

After Citizens United, I support that idea. The Supreme Court could hardly become a worse, more partisan institution.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

That damned Darwinism

What's Mallard raving about today?

Social Darwinism

At a time when only 40% of Republicans think we should help people who can't help themselves, it's simply accurate labeling to call their policies Social Darwinism.

Monday, June 04, 2012

Those damned Kids

What's Mallard raving about today?

High School Kids

With no hint of irony at all, Mallard Fillmore is decrying "these kids today."

Based on this evidence, Mallard has no right decrying inefficiency in Government as it appears he works for the least efficient business in human history, one which tolerates levels of under-performance which are unthinkable.