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Monday, June 04, 2012

Those damned Kids

What's Mallard raving about today?

High School Kids

With no hint of irony at all, Mallard Fillmore is decrying "these kids today."

Based on this evidence, Mallard has no right decrying inefficiency in Government as it appears he works for the least efficient business in human history, one which tolerates levels of under-performance which are unthinkable.


rewinn said...

In today's "comic" Principal Combover starts by insulting the people about to be honored.

That makes him an a-hole.

AND a whiner.

Sort of like Mallard Fillmore, actually.

dlauthor said...

This quite possibly might be the most boring comic strip ever created. It's almost like anti-cartooning.

Tog said...

Like Tinsley even understands what "well-rounded" means. (Hint: It doesn't mean built like Jonah Goldberg.)

Combovers are like wrongwing ideology, Brucie: if everyone makes fun of yours, maybe it's because it's laughable.

Bill the Splut said...

Wait, is he aware that there is an actual teenaged comedian named Dylan Custard? "Being a kid is tough. First you find out that the Easter Bunny isn't real. Then you find out that George Bush is!"

Frank Stone said...

How to Be a Good Little Right-Wing Republican (or just a pathetic wannabe like Bruce Tinsley), Lesson #13:

1) Identify a system or institution you don't like (in this case, public education).

2) Do everything in your power to denigrate and undermine that system or institution so as to prevent it from working effectively.

3) When that system or institution stumbles or fails as a direct result of your actions, cry like a little bitch about how it obviously doesn't work and it should be totally abolished.

4) While crying like a little bitch, be sure to squeal, "I DIDDINT DO IT!!!!" as loudly as possible while blaming your ideological opponents (i.e., those who actually fought to save the system or institution) for the result that you yourself created. If you are lucky, this will fool a sufficiently large number of people into believing that you are not responsible for your own actions, and you will escape any accountability.

MissD said...

Mallard Fillmore has no right to decry anything! Being as intellectually challenged as he is, you would think he would be kinder to stupid people.

Kip W said...

His name's "Dylan." That's because his parents are cross-eyed Boomers with ponytails. All the good parents named their kids "John Wayne" plus the surname (with a femaled form of John — 'Jonni,' perhaps).

(I've been away. Almost back.)

DiR said...

If Mallard Filmore was government agency, Mallard Filmore would use it as a prime example of pointless, wasteful, redundant incompetency.

Andrew said...

Oh holy mother of mercy, how many days of Dylan's "speech" are we going to be subjected to, do you think? 2? 3? All the way to Friday?

Make the bad man stop.

Steve-O said...

@Frank Stone,

Exactly. It's like the arsonist standing out in the front yard screaming at the firemen for not putting out the fire quickly enough or in the manner he wants.

Rootbeer said...

I was going to complain about Tinsley substituting a ridiculous made-up name for a punchline, then I saw Mr. Splut's link above.

Now I don't know what to think. Maybe Bruce is hoping that appropriating this kid's name will cause a wave of free publicity? On FunnyOrDie comment threads?

David in NYC said...

@Kip W --

Or, if they have a female child, they could just give her John Wayne's real name.


ajm said...

The reason my old high school dropped the valedictorian/salutatorian thing was that kids in their senior year were brazenly cheating to inflate their GPAs to qualify for the honor at graduation. Self-esteem ("everybody gets a trophy") had blessed little to do with it.

rewinn said...

Hey, thanks for the link to this Dylan kid. After reading Mallard Fillmore, I need a remedial dose of humor!