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Saturday, June 23, 2012

That damned Plan

What's Mallard raving about today?

Green Lantern, Hollywood

And, somehow, this comes back to the victim complex of Mallard and the modern Republican Party.

But...Mel Gibson is as Republican as the day is long. Problem solved.


Anonymous said...

No idiot duck though.

Frank Stone said...

No need for DC Comics to "introduce" a conservative Hollywood celebrity, Mallard.

Bruce Willis.
Patricia Heaton.
Kelsey Grammer.
Fred Thompson.
Chuck Norris.
The late Ron Silver.

And that's just off the top of my head. But I don't think there'd be much of a market for comicbooks about them. Probably because there's already been a comicbook about conservative celebrity superheroes, and it didn't exactly set the world on fire. Gotta love The Free Market in action. You DO love The Free Market, don't you, Mallard?

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Mallard worships the free market, he just hates whatever it produces, for the most part.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Anyway, how about something more challenging: a conservative comic strip that's funny?

Bill the Splut said...

So, Bruce, did your editor veto your "black Superman/Jew Batman" line?

And thus a week of a fictional character whining about a fictional character ends with a complaint about people who portray fictional characters. It's the most important story in the world!

dlauthor said...

Tinshley is just mad because he no longer identifies with Iron Man since Tony Stark decided to deal with his alcoholism.

rewinn said...

@Frank Stone - THANKS for the excellent link to an interesting discussion of a dreadful "comic". The reviews of "Liberality" seemed to be almost perfect for "Mallard Fillmore" as well ... at the risk of a "wall of text" here's my comments ... which I think apply to Mallard Fillmore as well:
Interesting discussion! (Full disclosure: I'm a liberal. Or progressive. Whatever. As a teenager, I was a Nixon Republican and, other than gay rights, don't see that Obama is all that much different from him on the issues ...)

May I suggest that all political fiction distophias should be measured against Orwell's "1984", which has the awesome virtue of being equally applicable to tyrannies of the Left as of the Right? If a story works as a story regardless of whether Big Brother is played by Sean Hannity or by Chelsea Clinton, then it is at least a well-told story. And the first duty of art is to be good art; if the propaganda is not secondary to the art, then the result is trash of value only to those who already believe in the artist's political philosophy; surely we can take that lesson from the garbage that was Soviet Realism and the novels of Ayn Rand.

Only after the art proves itself might we discuss the fairness or unfairness of its political stance. Post-WW2 history demonstrates that the idea that liberals want the United Nations to rule the USA is a laughable paranoid delusion in service to the Military-Industrial Complex, but unreasonable minds may differ.

But with respect to the "comic" under discussion, it appears we needn't go to the political merits at all, since the reviewers agree the art is so bad. An interesting study may be made as to why conservative art, other than action films, is always so bad; it's probably related to why conservative action films are often quite good. But that's another discussion for another day.

rewinn said...

BTW as to today's "Mallard Fillmore" --- in his 90 hours of research, didn't Brucie notice that Batman is played by vegetarian Christian Bale?

P.S. There's also been a French Muslim Batman since 2010!

DiR said...

So a "conservative hollywood" star would be stupid pablum, created only to appeal to a niche market of people who need to feel better about themselves, Bruce?
You're astoundingly bad at your job, dude.

@rewinn, yeah, I'm almost positive that Batman's been vegetarian for a while now.

Tog said...

@Frank Stone: Thanks for the link! I got a good laugh out of this final entry, by Paul Semones--the very same pure conservative whiny it's-all-about-me butthurt Tinsley rolls around in:

"...(Y)our review seems to reveal somewhat of a thin skin when it comes to your ability to absorb the hits of an author whose goal is to trash everything on your side of the political aisle. I suppose now you know how politically conservative comic fans feel from time to time. Remember, Mackey and Lin’s primary intent with this comic seems to be 'payback': letting the mostly left-leaning comic industry get a taste of its own medicine. Mackey and doubt view themselves as the lone voice of anti-left dystopian satire in a medium that has traditionally been dominated by anti-right commentary...

"I find many of your complaints to be either invalid or the kinds of charges that I, a conservative, could have just as easily leveled against the political commentary of liberal creators. You complain that Liberality for All is laden with misconceptions about what you liberals believe; now you know how I have felt. You complain that it is infused with an arrogance that believes its preferred political perspective is the only thing that can save America; now you know how I have felt. You complain that it is determined to make your political perspective look bad without explaining why; now you know how I have felt. You complain about petty mean-spiritedness in the casual mocking of your politics on the letters pages; now..., well, you get the point.

"If this comic has performed any service at all, it has been to equalize the playing field only for a moment."

Poor baby. There are opinions that make fun of his opinions! They're invalid! Why can't they be more civil while he calls for them to be rounded up and executed?

I wish I had a link to that old, old, OLD Tom Tomorrow cartoon talking about the "dominance" of the "liberal media" featuring a panel packed with about a hundred well-known wrong-wing talking heads from George F. Will to Rush to of them crying, "there's just no room for us!"

Steve-O said...

I find it interesting and telling the Tinsley lumps in vegans with the LGBT community.

Andrew said...

@DiR- Christian Bale is vegetarian, but Batman isn't, as far as i know- I remember an exchange in the late, lamented Gotham Central comic, in which a detective is talking to batman on the phone (Batman is not in costume) and wonders what he's doing. Batman replies he's relaxing- grilling a steak. The detective remarks how grilling a steak is possibly one of the least relaxing types of cooking to do, since if you leave it on too long, you've ruined the steak. It was a nice revealing moment as to how driven Batman is, if that's what he finds relaxing. Admittedly, they don't say he ate the steak, but...

Bill the Splut said...

Vegans are bad, because there's nothing a duck likes more than a juicy cheeseburger. And hates more than pants. And sanity.

dlauthor said...

Adam Sandler.
Robert Duvall, sadly.
Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson.
Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Sylvester Stallone.
Some Austrian guy whose name I can't remember.
Jon Voight.
Stephen "Usual Suspects was clearly a fluke" Baldwin.
Tom Selleck.

And Clint Goddamn Eastwood, assuming the right didn't disown him entirely for those Halftime in America ads they claimed were pro-Obama because SHUT UP THAT'S WHY.

In other words, fuck off, Tinshley. The names people have listed here came about with the research time it would take you to go grab another six-pack of Miller from your fridge.

Erich said...

I was not aware of the political leanings of many of the celebrities that have been mentioned...which may be because I rely on them for ENTERTAINMENT, not political insight.

I do remember that, before Dennis Hopper passed away, Tinsley would periodically trot out Hopper whenever he wanted to stick it to "those crazy hippie baby boomers"...either unaware or uncaring that Hopper was a staunch Republican.