Project Wonderful Banner

Friday, June 29, 2012

Those damned Noses

What's Mallard raving about today?

Comic Superheroes

Frankly, I'm surprised Mallard lasted this long before that whole Gay Green Lantern thing started bugging him again.

13 comments:

Tog said...

I guess we're gonna have to wait a couple of weeks for the strip to get "good" again, when Tinsley finally catches up with today's ZOMG OBAMA DESTROYED MERIKA NUBBER WUN!!!1 WITH SOCIALISTO MEDISIN!!1 AND DEATH PANELZ!!!2 hysteria.

ianmorris said...

No love for deadpool? He is mostly bald and has a cancer that is locked in a struggle with his wolverine-type healing factor.

shibori78 said...

Deadpool is an invalid choice now! He lost his healing factor and is now his formerly good-looking self.
What about Professor X? He's a twofer: Bald and wheelchair bound.
Umm. . . the Beast, especially in his first appearance. I'm sure I can think of more. Be cautious, Brucey; you're going to face the wrath of comic book geeks!
As much time as he spent bellyaching about gay GL, I wonder if he'll address Marvel's gay wedding?

dlauthor said...

Hmmmm. I sense that ol' Brucie might be getting a little thin up top, and is a bit sensitive about it. Anyone had the misfortune to see a picture of him more recent than the mugshot?

rewinn said...

Short answer:
The comic Nodwick outsells Mallard Fillmore in print even though it's also available for free online. Yes, it's that good ... and that big-nosed.

Long answer:
Homely or even ugly superheroes have been tried. A few succeeded because of their raw ugliness:
* Man-Thing
* Swamp-Thing (...the Pepsi of Man-Thing I guess...)
* The Fantastic Four's "Thing" ... who in his first years was motivated entirely about trying to do something about his ugliness and failed.

Long story:
Art tends to focus on beautiful people, which in our day means muscular men and big-breasted women. Why this is is obvious: artists want to make money so they can stay alive, feed their family, and make more art.
Plenty of big-nosed cartoon characters exists, but the market rejects them as serious heroes in favor of the demigods like Superman and Captain America. The latter are defined not by their facial features, beyond a few basics (casucasian male with dark or light hair) but by their costumes. This is necessary because the big comic houses cycle through artists like toilet paper, and the Superman face of one guy really doesn't look like the Superman face of the next.

But hey, let the reichwing rail against comic book companies embracing diversity. It shows their irrelevance.

Kip W [Muffaroo] said...

Never heard of Uncle Marvel, has he?

MissD said...

OK Brucie, we get it. One gay character does not demonstrate diversity, but rather intolerance. ALL the characters have to be white heterosexuals, otherwise everyone knows it doesn't reflect reality, but rather some nutty liberal's idea of reality.

Frank Stone said...

Yeah! And when is a comicbook company going to introduce a character who's an anthropomorphic duck who wears a rumpled suit and -- oh, wait, you're a rip-off of one of those, aren't you, Mallard?

And now Mallard's head feathers are back to normal, with still no clue as to why they changed in the first place. Truly, it's a mystery for the ages.

In other news, Mallard Fillmore remains a monumentally stupid bigot.

Bill the Splut said...

Thank you, Bruce, for once again proving how utterly relevant and important your opinions are. Kudos on a job well dumb!

DiR said...

League of Extraordinary Gentlemen and Watchmen want to have a word with you, Bruce.
Also, Bone.

Kip wins an internet for remembering Uncle Marvel.

And Frank beat me to Howard the Duck.

Are we going to count the one fat detective from Batman? I forget his name. Partnered with Montoya.

DiR said...

OO OO OO OO!! You guys! Check this out!
I just made a new game. It's called "Fail Bingo"

Little of this
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5emx0CPua1qzm1pso1_1280.jpg
and a little of this
http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5emx0CPua1qzm1pso2_1280.jpg

Every time you spot one in a MF, you get a point. First to 5 wins.
#9 is basically that free square.

Erich said...

Marvel Comics recently finished a mini-series called "The Twelve," about 12 obscure super-heroes from the 1940s who were captured and placed in suspended animation, and have just now been found, awakened, and re-introduced to modern society. The artist, Chris Weston, deliberately redesigned many of the characters to look more like "average people": Mister E is bald on top; The Laughing Mask has a broken nose and is downright ugly; Master Mind Excello has a receding hairline/widow's peak; and The Blue Blade has a gap between his front teeth. The Witness looks exactly like a dark-haired Jimmy Cagney; opinions may vary whether that's handsome or homely.

Tog said...

@Dir: That'd be Harvey Bullock. Doesn't count, tought--too minor; otherwise we'd have to count Alfred Pennyworth, who's been a lot more badass.

And as sad as such geekery may be, it's not as sad as Tinsley's endless whinge about the troubles and exclusions faced every day by middle-aged white men.