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Saturday, December 29, 2007

That damned family

What's Mallard raving about today?

Two parents, Marriage, TV, News.

The Yates may feel as smug as they want to feel; unappealing thought smugness may be.

Why Mallard feels the right to be smug about them is a mystery.

Why Mallard feels that ordinary people's marriages are in the news all the time, however, is a much bigger mystery.


Truce Binsley said...

So Mallard can tell the future now?

How the hell does he know that the parents will stay together?

exanonymous said...

Apparently married parents are a minority?
While just 26% of the population, I wouldn't even begin to consider it a minority. Especially since there is implied shame with how Mallard presents it. There is no sin in chosing or being unable to have children, so let's eliminate all those folks from the stats and take what's left:
They compose over 51% of families.
18% are children with a single parent (news flash Mallard: a parent's death creates part of this number) The remaining 31% would consist of unmarried parents and guardians (possibly in the event of the deaths of both parents).
51% vs 18% vs 31%... which is the majority?

Cited from a study done by the University of Chicago in 1999, so not entirely accurate for 2008

BillyWitchDoctor said...

Just another facet of Tinny's persecution-fantasy complex, where right-thinking people like himself are always the underdog; America culture is le dooooooomed because wimmens aren't subjecting themselves to lives as breeding units in accordance with Tinny's lunatic beliefs. (The "raising kids right" stuff? All smoke.)

Isn't Rush's daddy a single parent? Or does Tinny just not want to ever focus on the mother? Admittedly, he's doing an awful job, letting his child hang out in Lonely Bachelor Mallard's filthy dump of a home doing God knows what. (But of course, Rush is a genius by dint of the fact that he parrots neo-con talking points and hates public education.)

Interesting omission: Tinny's probably getting hate mail from his regulars already for not scrawling, "...with two parents, a man and a woman, who are married (to each other)..."

That's tacit advocation of gay marriage. Way to go, Tinny!

confused said...

"18% are children with a single parent (news flash Mallard: a parent's death creates part of this number)"

Ok, that's simply not true. Everyone knows in good strong household, a parent can't die. Traffic accidents and illness are for the weak. And if they actually loved their children, they wouldn't have died. Therefore, only 14% of families have a married man and woman.

Cited from my ability to completely make up numbers and asinine arguments that can support my claims

Kaitlyn said...

As soon as I saw what Mallard was raving about today, I wanted to bitch slap him.

A few times.

When I was young (8 or 9), it seemed everyone was divorcin', but not my parents! I was smug. I only remember feeling proud/happy for a little while, because while they were married, he was never home.

He never wanted to be home.

And he had a girlfriend!

So SHUT THE FUCK UP. Sometimes, kids are better off with one parent. Sometimes, some people (men or women) don't make good parents!

Dude, divorce isn't a crime!

Or maybe he's celebrating the fact that they're married, so the kid isn't a bastard?

So he manages to insult modern parenting (as he sees it), childless couples, divorced couples, unmarried couples, single parents, and the news (which is liberal).

I don't know about you, but I never watch the news. The local stuff pisses me off too much this time of year.

My mom and sis were actually talking about how unfair it was that you can't do anything for Christmas, but Kwanzaa is okay and we have to say Happy Holidays.

Me - Do you know anyone who cares about this?

Them - No.

Me - It's only happening on the news! Don't watch it!

Oh the Daily Show will be back in a week... I'm sure they'll do stories on unmarried homosexuals who adopt a kid, only to let the TV raise it...

Kaitlyn said...

Check out today's Family Circus!

I know, I know, they're done weeks in advance, but still.

FC surprises me more than Mallard, to be honest. It's the Holiday Season! TV can wait until the bleak days of February or July or something.

Kaitlyn said...

I wonder if the mom will be a stay-at-home-mother?

Of course she will!

How the hell can they afford it?

My parents could - from '88 to about '95-6 - because dad was in the military, active duty, on the bases, all that good stuff.

Named After Ham said...

THIS JUST IN! Right-wing comic darling "Mallard Fillmore" is unfunny, tedious... and poorly drawn! Bruce Tinsley, identified as the strip's "author" and "artist," was far too smashed for comment when reached earlier today!

If you think this isn't news.... well, you're absolutely correct!