What's Mallard raving about today?
Vampires, TV.
After 3 years it should not surprise me. But I admit I am always astonished by panels like todays which serve to remind that Mallard Fillmore is literally a guy just writing down whatever gripe is bugging him that day, with the implicit assumption this it's bugging everyone else equally.
It doesn't matter how venal, how parochial, or how nonsensical the whinge.
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Thursday, July 15, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
That damned Outrage
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama.
Mallard Fillmore has sex with goats.
I defy anyone to explain how the statement above is any different from today's Mallard Fillmore.
President Obama.
Mallard Fillmore has sex with goats.
I defy anyone to explain how the statement above is any different from today's Mallard Fillmore.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
That damned Gaffe
What's Mallard raving about today?
Vice President Biden, President Obama.
I'll take Joe Biden over having inherited President Bush's actual Vice President any day.
Vice President Biden, President Obama.
I'll take Joe Biden over having inherited President Bush's actual Vice President any day.
Monday, July 12, 2010
That damned Leader
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, Toughness.
Having been saddled with two wars, Mallard Fillmore simply can't believe President Obama hasn't yet found time to invade a third, possible even a fourth country. Because that would have been awesome!
But don't you dare spend any money to help the unemployed!
President Obama, Toughness.
Having been saddled with two wars, Mallard Fillmore simply can't believe President Obama hasn't yet found time to invade a third, possible even a fourth country. Because that would have been awesome!
But don't you dare spend any money to help the unemployed!
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Those damned Pseudo-Intellectuals
What's Mallard raving about today?
Pseudo-intellectuals, tolerance.
It's so sad that the NASCAR and Christian communities, neither of which have a history of intolerance towards others races and religions, are subjected to being looked askance at. How ever will they survive?
As for the lawn ornament community, what could any reasonable person possibly object to?
Pseudo-intellectuals, tolerance.
It's so sad that the NASCAR and Christian communities, neither of which have a history of intolerance towards others races and religions, are subjected to being looked askance at. How ever will they survive?
As for the lawn ornament community, what could any reasonable person possibly object to?
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Those damned Dates
What's Mallard raving about today?
Cats, Dates.
Yeah, we're over the edge into Creepiest Unintentional Self-Revelation now.
Cats, Dates.
Yeah, we're over the edge into Creepiest Unintentional Self-Revelation now.
Friday, July 09, 2010
That damned Cat
What's Mallard raving about today?
Cats, Dogs.
Cats don't meet with Mallard's approval and are therefore to be reviled and mocked.
If that isn't a metaphor for Mallard Fillmore in general, I don't know what is.
Cats, Dogs.
Cats don't meet with Mallard's approval and are therefore to be reviled and mocked.
If that isn't a metaphor for Mallard Fillmore in general, I don't know what is.
Wednesday, July 07, 2010
That damned Law
What's Mallard raving about today?
Liberals, Dogs.
You know how I know liberals want laws forcing you to get an animal-shelter dog?
Because Democrats are liberals. And with Democrats in control of both the Legislative and Executive branches of Government, they've already passed this law!
See? What Straw Man?
Liberals, Dogs.
You know how I know liberals want laws forcing you to get an animal-shelter dog?
Because Democrats are liberals. And with Democrats in control of both the Legislative and Executive branches of Government, they've already passed this law!
See? What Straw Man?
That damned Dog
What's Mallard raving about today?
Dogs, The Media.
As a lifelong owner and trainer of Border Collies, let me say that any of my dogs could be trained to do a better job at whatever the hell Mallard is supposed to do for a living.
Dogs, The Media.
As a lifelong owner and trainer of Border Collies, let me say that any of my dogs could be trained to do a better job at whatever the hell Mallard is supposed to do for a living.
Tuesday, July 06, 2010
That damned Workplace
What's Mallard raving about today?
Progressives, Pets, The Workplace
Because Progressives are well-known for their hatred of Labor.
Honestly, has mallard lost what was left of his mind?
Progressives, Pets, The Workplace
Because Progressives are well-known for their hatred of Labor.
Honestly, has mallard lost what was left of his mind?
Monday, July 05, 2010
That damned Experience
What's Mallard raving about today?
President Obama, The Military.
Their "military" experience (mostly dodging military service) didn't help President Bush and Vice President Cheney, whose every military endeavor turned to shit.
Can I just add how detestable Right Wing sanctimony about their Military fetishism is?
President Obama, The Military.
Their "military" experience (mostly dodging military service) didn't help President Bush and Vice President Cheney, whose every military endeavor turned to shit.
Can I just add how detestable Right Wing sanctimony about their Military fetishism is?
Sunday, July 04, 2010
That damned Flag
What's Mallard raving about today?
The American Flag.
Normally I give Mallard a pass on holidays out of respect for the holiday itself, however...
King George was the Effete Elitist of the American revolution?
Seriously, man...we were the Effete Elitists. And the Liberals. And we kicked their assess because we were the agents of change in a world dominated by Oligarchs.
You conservatives were the Tories and Royalists who supported King George.
The American Flag.
Normally I give Mallard a pass on holidays out of respect for the holiday itself, however...
King George was the Effete Elitist of the American revolution?
Seriously, man...we were the Effete Elitists. And the Liberals. And we kicked their assess because we were the agents of change in a world dominated by Oligarchs.
You conservatives were the Tories and Royalists who supported King George.
Saturday, July 03, 2010
That damned Demographic
What's Mallard raving about today?
Television, Technology, Bar Fights.
We're edging close to Creepiest Unintentional Self-Revelation territory...except that there's very little here we didn't already know.
Mallard Fillmore doesn't understand that he's nearly alone in the way he thinks, does he?
Television, Technology, Bar Fights.
We're edging close to Creepiest Unintentional Self-Revelation territory...except that there's very little here we didn't already know.
Mallard Fillmore doesn't understand that he's nearly alone in the way he thinks, does he?
Friday, July 02, 2010
That damned Feature Film
What's Mallard raving about today?
Movies, Books, Video Games.
Which is fine, since Mallard doesn't read books (because they are elitist) or play video games (because he's a luddite).
Movies, Books, Video Games.
Which is fine, since Mallard doesn't read books (because they are elitist) or play video games (because he's a luddite).
Thursday, July 01, 2010
That damned TV
What's Mallard raving about today?
Technology, Television.
Mallard Fillmore...Luddite and proud of it.
Technology, Television.
Mallard Fillmore...Luddite and proud of it.
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