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Sunday, July 04, 2010

That damned Flag

What's Mallard raving about today?

The American Flag.

Normally I give Mallard a pass on holidays out of respect for the holiday itself, however...

King George was the Effete Elitist of the American revolution?

Seriously, man...we were the Effete Elitists. And the Liberals. And we kicked their assess because we were the agents of change in a world dominated by Oligarchs.

You conservatives were the Tories and Royalists who supported King George.


Faster, Harder, More Challenging GeoX said...

No need to give Tinsley a pass, since HE obviously has no respect for the holiday. Ha ha! Libruls! Effete (ie, gay)! They hate the flag! And America! Not too surprising, I suppose, coming from a guy who regularly uses 9/11 as an excuse to spew racist garbage, but still--pretty sickening. Let's hope he blows his hands off with illegal fireworks this year (cause the goldurn GOVMINT can't tell him what to do!), ending this relentless, worthless trash once and for all. Though actually, I suppose he could hold a pen in his mouth and his drawings wouldn't look much worse. Foiled again!

Factinista said...

The flag also annoyed plenty of elitists back in the 1860s who were so obsessed with their own ideals that they were willing to destroy the Union just to prevent badly-needed progress.

Hopefully we won't go down that road again, but people like Tinsley who feel the need to politicize everything certainly aren't helping.

Ducky is Right said...

Ducky gets no pass. This strip is an atrocity. It's an outstanding example of bullshit, self-reference, non-sensible patriotic drivel, with a sloppy handful of poor drawing too boot.

Why is King George writing to the "political correctness police"?

"Effete elitists"? Buddy, you ever see a list of just who was at the Constitutional Convention? You're a retard.

Who's flag? Cause that fucking ain't the flag of ANY United States of America.

Random dig at those damn wetbacks.

Disjointed and poorly delivered segue from set-up to pay off, compounded by a lack of fundamental understanding on the topic of his own choosing.

To top it off, Tinsh seems to now be, literally, incapable of drawing a duck without the Downs Syndrome eyes.

Any publisher who payed for this strip should be ashamed.

Factinista, they were willing to destroy the Union, and murder fellow countrymen, to protect their right to enslave other human beings.* As someone who was born and raised in Virginia, while I consider the Confederacy to be a step above Nazis, it's a small step.

*And make no mistake, "States Rights" is bullshit. The Articles of Confederacy required all member states to allow slavery.

Text Wall over.

Tog said...

That's no "random dig at those damned wetbacks." It's a callback to Batshit's own hypocritical mallard-malarky over The Morgan Hill Cinco de Mayo White Rights Massacre of 2010. Will Whitey ever recover from this tragedy?

...Hypocritical, because under any other circumstances, Mallard would be foaming at the bill about anyone wearing the US flag as street clothing. (However, wrapping oneself in the flag is ALWAYS in fashion if you're a wrong-winger, as Mallard himself demonstrates here.)

Still, I'm glad Mallard mentioned King George, because 26% of Americans are so completely slobberingly ignorant that they don't know from which country we declared our independence, in those heady days of uncontrolled liberal activism.

I once again challenge Batshit to do a strip about THAT. This should be easy enough; just blame it on schools, then announce we should slash their budgets.

exanonymous said...

Only Mallard could demonstrate his patriotism by strawman-insulting a large portion of his fellow countrymen.

Or imply the progressives are effete without realizing what a complete oxymoron that is.

But I am thankful to be in America where that sort of stupidity under the administration it is critical of will not see jail time or citizenship revoked.

ajm said...

In 1776 Tinsley would've been an American who supported the Crown. And you know I'm right.

Bill the Splut said...

Duck reads newspaper that says "Is Flag-Waving Anti-Mexican?" then waves flag. Yeah, this is all about celebrating the Fourth.

For Labor Day, expect Duck to read newspaper that says "Is Obama Socialist?" and then burn cross.

WV: aness; what Tinsley is a gaping example of.

NickE said...

Yes, Bruce, we get it. All liberals are gay, Mexicans suck, and only YOU know the true meaning of freedom. Which, between you and today's Fox News, seems to have something to do with fetishizing the flag.

The good news is, Newsday replaced him with Pearls Before Swine again today.

Congratulations, Bruce; you've douchebagged yourself out of the paper again, this time on you FAY-VO-RITE HOLIDAY (which beats Christmas, 'cause on the Fourth of July you can salute Jesus AND blow stuff up).

Bill the Splut said...

Today's Watch Your Head.

Kip W said...

The environment? Pfft. Violence? Pfft. Brotherhood? Pffft. Financial solvency? Pffft. Social responsibility? PFFFFT!

The Prime Directive is, and always will be, "Piss Off the Liberals," and anything else is completely incidental.


Kip W said...

FH,MC: If he held the pen in his mouth, it would be a step up, and the pen would smell better.

Factinista said...

Ducky is Right:

Trust me, I am well aware of the causes of the civil war. (I also live in the former Confederacy.) My point was that then, like now, people were so desperate to have their views be the ONLY ones which are acceptable, which never ends well.

MartyRotten said...

Let's set the record straight about something. Republican Conservatives have been given favors to the rich and powerful at the expense of the working class. They are the ones supporting the effitist elite, not the liberals.

CW in LA said...

It's a sad, sorry, tiny-minded patriotism that regards the national holiday as an occasion to holler "F You" at Mexicans and, less coherently, at one's fellow citizens.

Kaitlyn said...

But the 4th wasn't even the day everyone signed the declaration!

And some have argued that our true revolution was the Civil War, because it changed the country, while the "Revolutionary War" didn't change society at all - just who was in charge.

Also, that wasn't the flag back then.

I'm really bitter about this holiday - dogs don't like fireworks. My Dixie hates them. My family knows this, so what do they do? Set tons of in our damn driveway. If she'd peed from stress, Mom would be mad. Hate the fourth so much.

And besides, today's not flag day, you jackass.

And a conservative family member (lives in Alaska... draw your own conclusions) posted that drivel on facebook about how Jesus and soldiers are the only ones who've offered to die for you. She C&P'd it.. including the "see more" at the end - ha!

Sleeping all day was a good idea.

dlauthor said...

Apparently, Mallard's flag only has about 23 stars on it. I was going to make a comment about him only including states that voted for Grampy and the Moose-slayer in '08 ... but only 21 states did that.

And that didn't include Indiana, did it, Tinshley?

Brucie won't blow his hands off with fireworks, anyway. He'd have to put down his beer to do that. I just hope he doesn't force one of his kids to light the bloody things.

Oh, and a reminder: this is a Sunday strip. You can tell because of the increased narrative complexity, intricate drawing, and attention to detail!

rewinn said...

Today's Mallardtine: "Only mediocrities love America!"

Plus, "Ooops, I forgot a punchline!"

Neo Tuxedo said...

dogs don't like fireworks. My Dixie hates them. My family knows this, so what do they do? Set tons of in our damn driveway.

Kaitlyn, there's no polite way to say this: your family are a bowl of big, gleaming dongs.

Frank Stone said...

Translation: "If you don't wave th' flag all th' time, you hate Amurrica!"

Helpful hint, Braindamage: Jingoism is not patriotism.