What's Mallard raving about today?
I'm not totally sure I understand what this MEANS, but I can't TELL you how creeped out I am by it. And I read Savage Love every week without batting an eye.
"When I take a b**ch out for pizza, she better listen to me berate the kid behind the counter and whine about how greasy it is, and THEN I expect as LEAST a handroll!!""...Liberals don't respect women!"
Honest to god, yesterday I was this close to analogizing, "Ducky, when your girlfriend doesn't want to sleep with you, it's not because she doesn't like sex; it's because you suck at it."But no, I thought, this would be in poor taste.Then Ducky does it for me. Good on you.It's not the womens's fault you're a horrible, uninteresting, repulsive person, Champ.
Should I dig up the other one where Mallard complains about women talking too much?Or is everyone here already on board with the assumption that NOTHING would make the duck happy?But there's the neo-conservative views in a nutshell: "Wimmun, amirite? Sarah Palin!"
Maybe it's just you, Duckie...
Mallard lives in a dark, miserable little world with no happiness or joy or warm feelings of any kind. Heh. Heh heh. Heh heh heh heh heh heh! *sigh*Thanks for making my day, Tin Eye! (Please tell me it's autobiographical.)
Ha ha ha ha!! Stupid fuckin' duck!!! Of course she wants a dinner from you. She sure as hell isn't going to get any charm, charisma or anything resembling intellectual conversation from you!! Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Dumb-ass water fowl!!
"...and, my dates also make my house stink!"
I long for the romantic subtlety of Mel Gibson.
Mallard doesn't like pussy.(Not that there's anything WRONG with that!)
Yes, Bruce, but does a cat try to take your car keys away at the end of the evening?
Maybe if Mallard's legs weren't so stunted that his belly scrapes along the floor when he walks, he'd be in a better mood.
J.D.Hayworth never said anything about women marrying ducks, so I guess Mallard "dating" (UNF UNF UNF) human women isn't obscene in Republican eyes. (I know it's not obscene in neoconservative eyes, because they will f*** anything.) WV: chabacul. "Is that something I can drink? It sounds like a good drink. What are you doing? Are you drinking something? Give me that! Gimme!"
Mature college student response:oh my godEW EW EW EW EWBURN IT WITH FIREOf course, this could be applied to any one of these masterpieces.
Tog is slandering neocons, again! I'm telling!As bill o'reilly, lynne cheney, and scooter libby point out, the only exceptions to God's law of one man, one woman, married in a church, are:Work subordinates, if you use Middle-Eastern food;Two women, if it's out West and kinda hot;OrA bear.Seriously, you can't understand that? Elitests!
ajm wins the internets.
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