What's Mallard raving about today?
Yeah, Mallard, if Americans don't like something, and the entire rest of the world does, they must be WRONG, because we all know those furriners aren't as fully human as us Murkins.(Of course, Americans DO like soccer, so the point is moot, but jeez what an idiot assholes Tinsley is.)
I think football is way more boring then soccer. Sure, they both have fairly slow over-all paces, but at leats soccer doesn't stop after every 15 second play for a 30 second commercial break.
Yeesh.Americans do like soccer. What it would take to elevate to an acceptable level of interest to Mallard is drama or a record-breaking player. I suspect Mallard requires more of the former, and the latter is more what draws in the general sports-apathetic audience (like Michael Phelps managed to make swimming a watched event at the Olympics). But Mallard hates it, so everyone else must. I suspect Nascar is the only thing left on his list as the one true enjoyed American sport, since he hates baseball so much and Obama likes basketball and college football isn't done right.
"Up next we'll be examining persistent myths including 'compassionate conservatives' and 'weapons of mass destruction in Iraq post 1991'
I'm going to take a wild guess that, if you compared the numbers of Americans who like soccer with the number of Americans who like Mallard Fillmore, the Tinsh would find himself with yet another thing to whine about.Go Galaxy.Fuck the Duck.
I think Tinshley subscribes to the school of thought that it's not a real sport unless there's half-naked dancing girls and exploding computer graphics. And beer commercials -- for real beer, not that foreign swill that doesn't taste like pee.
For a minute, I thought that the duck was commenting on something that happened less than three weeks ago, but I realized that the World Cup* actually started back in June. Whew! I'm not going nuts after all.*Unlike the World Series, it actually involves much of the world. Just saying.Tin's limited worldview means he's almost certainly missing out on Lucha Vavoom. (Don't tell him.)
...and, "We only think Mallard Fillmore is a ham-handed amateurish cartoon because we haven't been exposed to it enough."Mallard, I appreciate your desire to be topical, but you do know that the World Cup has ended, right? Maybe you can move on to more relevant sports topics, like conjecturing where LeBron might end up.
It's a sad day for a supposedly political "comic" when Mother Goose manages to be more poignant and topical.http://www.grimmy.com/comics.php(copypasta due to limited html skills)
It is an angry, sad, cheerless world Mallard inhabits.
Of course, 8.8 Million of those watched on Univision, so they don't count.Not to mention that they CAN'T count. Amirite, people?According to my parents, each of whom grew up on a farm, when you had a sick animal, you took it out behind the barn and shot it. Methinks Ducky is way past ready for a trip behind the barn.WV: phous. Elitist European spelling of "foos", as in "phousball", one of Ducky's favorite bar games (when he still has enough motor control, that is).
wavydavy: No, Tinsley's favorite bar game is to sit at his usual spot and complain, to anyone within earshot, that those laughing phousball players shouldn't be having that good a time.Also, the "You can give my keys back now, I'm just giving them to a friend" game on new bartenders.
"24.3 Million Americans watched the World Cup Final."Is anyone surprised Tinshley ignored this fact? He's just doing what all of his right-wing nut job friends do.
You know what soccer needs? VAMPIRES! Then Brucie could combine two weeks worth of "I hate something on TV" into one!Oh, wait--then he'd have to find another thing on TV to whine about. Given how timely he is, it'd probably be the last episode of "The Sopranos."
"You know what soccer needs? VAMPIRES! Then Brucie could combine two weeks worth of "I hate something on TV" into one!..."LIBERAL vampire Pop Tarts selling cookies to cats ...
That's a wee bit dangerous to start that list.The things Mallard hates is quite long, and often includes all possible options.
DharmaPete, I'm not surprised. Tin's got years of experience in ignoring or belittling the views of millions of Americans.
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