What's Mallard raving about today?
CATS, AMIRITE?!?(Well, no, of course not. this is Mallard Fillmore--but it's okay; we're used to it.)
It's been obvious for a long time that independence, quietude and dignity offend Mallard and his simpleton creator. And keeping to oneself? Yeah, that's something a neocon professes but never practices.By all means, get a dog, Mallard. They don't make any odors at all! And you'll be constantly aware of its presence, oh my yes...especially since you'd probably get one that isn't likely to be intimidated by a tiny duck.Seriously, it'd be like a normal person getting a lion or crocodile for a pet. Go for it!
The cat isn't the reason your house smells so bad, Tinshley.
Wait, cats are smellier than dogs?And what a nice message!Save dogs from shelters, but not cats because Mallard has contempt for them?The guy has obviously never owned a cat. But like all things Mallard Fillmore, a lack of experience or knowledge has never stopped him from passing judgment as if he was an expert.
So if he gets a dog, he'll chain it out in the yard 24/7, and finally get rid of it when the neighbors complain about it barking for the tenth time. If he gets a cat, it'll run away after he decides that it should clean its own litter box and get a job to buy its own food.Either way, it's a happy ending: The duck dies friendless and alone in front of Fox News (though having his body eaten by a starving pet would be a nice touch).dlauthor: Win.
Today's Mallardtine: "Independents Stink!"Yeah, you go with that buddy!
Batshit looked at Guard Dog (the poor bulldog short-chained day and night in the yard from Mutts) and (like Dick Cheney after reading George Orwell's 1984) said to himself, "That's beautiful."
Ducky is more of a, "slobbery, loud, needy, likes humping your legs/furniture/anything really" pet kind of guy, I guess.Seriously, I've lived with a few cats in my time; if they're ignoring you, you're doing it wrong.
So the week's theme is really "Mallard hates pets." Thanks for that info, Boozey. You hating everything Good is this world is really big news.Cats are not dogs, which are pack animals and thus more likely to be obviously friendly. Cats (I have 3, including a deaf one) are more like people. If you show them no affection and ignore them, then, like people, they learn to expect no affection, and do not waste their time looking for something they've learned they won't receive. Sort of like if Bruce had children.Tomorrow's strip: Hey, babies! They scream all night and contribute nothing to society except poop! They're the ultimate welfare queens! Don't have babies either!
TIMMY: "What's that, Lassie? Bruce's fallen down a well? Wait, he fell off the wagon, and then into a well? Gosh, girl, what did you do? You pee'd on him, and walked away laughing? GOOD GIRL, LASSIE!"
How the hell is it that Batshit Tinshley manages to get a fucking paycheck every week for this steaming pile of dog shit while millions of Americans who actually have leave more talent in the toilet when they take a shit than Tinshley can ever aspire to are out of work and have had unemployment benefits terminated?? What a fuckin' country!!!!
I'm a dog lover, but cats are cool too - cute, funny, and don't need walks or someone watching them so they won't pee inside. *glares*I thought he'd say cats were democrats, somehow.Like this better comic.http://www.strangecosmos.com/content/item/103262.htmlAnyways, one could say he's not advocating for not adopting cats, he's just a character. But he's shown to be Tinsley's voice again and again. So it's disgusting.Also - why does Mallard hate the troops?http://cuteoverload.com/2010/07/08/search-and-resqte/
He doesn't want to get a cat because of the smell? Don't worry, Mallard, cats are adaptable. She'll get used to it.
I love cats.Geez, Mallard Fillmore has now insulted just about everything I like. The only thing he has left to insult is classical music. Unless he's already done so.
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