What's Mallard raving about today?
You know the ONLY time Twilight ever crosses my mind? When I read Tinsley whining about it! Jesus Christ, it's not as though this is some utterly ubiquitous, unavoidable cultural trend. For being such a rough-and-tumble, anti-PC conservative, your feelings seem to be awfully fucking delicate, Bruce.
Well, I hate to break it to Mallard, but the trends have already been stooped to.It's very trendy right now with a certain crowd of folks to make bizarre conspiracy theories that emphasize their own delusional victimization. Like the president making criticism illegal. At least teenage girls will grow out of their sparkly vampire obsessions, though it begs the question of why MF is so obsessed with them.
(1) "I've been thinking...(.)"HAH! Who says Batshit forgets to tell jokes?(2) "...comic strip." HAW! See (1).(3) "...adolescent trend!"You're a talking duck. Donald, Daffy, and particularly Howard called.(4) "...add some vampires..."Are we going to have to go through this when the next "Twilight" movie comes out? You are a sad man.(5) "we've got Congress"Oh, it's waaaay too late to try to pretend this is still a political commentary, Batshit. Woooooo...(.)(6) "stoop to the level"Granted, attacking your personal enemies list through their wives and children and deliberately spreading blatant lies isn't the SAME level as "Twilight," but no, "stoop" wasn't the word you were looking for, not by a long shot.
I think we should be more forgiving of Tinsley's terrible artwork, now that it's been revealed he has severe congenital defects in his drawing hand. You wouldn't draw well either if you had a second thumb sprouting from your thumb.
I think the giant organic thing that protrudes/dangles into the strip from time to time comes straight out of Tin's childhood nightmares. The fact that a pencil stub seems to emerge, Alien-like, from the fleshy tip of the meat object suggests that the act of drawing is terribly traumatic for him, and this can only be mitigated by drawing in as wretchedly perfunctory a way as possible.And something about vampires. Too bad he's alienated the side that might heed a cry for help and aligned with those who will call it a sign of weakness and write him off.
Immortal.Utterly amoral.Completely charming when it wants to be.Lives by sucking the lifeblood out of ordinary human beings ... who beg to be drained some more.Vampire ... or corporation?
I dunno. I kinda like that Mallard's fear of adolescent girls is represented by some twisted, fanged, Georgia O'Keefe-inspired monstrosity descending on his skull.They will sap and impurify all of your precious bodily fluids, Mallard.
The first layer is his apparently barely subtexted lusting after "poptarts" like Miley Cyrus and teen ingenue characters like Veronica Mars and Bella. But I believe under that is a series of recurring fantasy images of the Tinsh having a 3-way with Edward and Jacob. He's filed that under Top Secret next to "Frodo and Sam" and "Harry and Ron."At least making semi-nude dust angels on the floor with Vietnamese-American boys proves he's not racist, though.
Stay Tuned, next week Mallard Fillmore goes OFF on redundant Republicans complaining about spending when they were busy the first eight years of this decade spending like a drunk Paris Hilton on a shopping spree!Oh, wait, nevermind.
also, "I'm Mallard Fillmore, I'm WAY more upset by fictional stuff in my talking picture box than I am about real life problems like oil spewing into the gulf, or unemployment, or global climate change, or perpetual war, or healthcare, etc."
Isnt' Mallard worrying about his teenager demographic kind of like the owner of Saturdays-Only Porkatorium thinking about opening a chain in Israel?Hey, Ducky finally did a, "Well those clowns in Congress are at it again! What a bunch of clowns!" joke! Something The Simpsons did 16 years ago.On a serious note, I never know how horribly disfigured Bruce's hand was. Just a fleshy lump with tiny little nublets for fingers. What a brave Johny Tremain of our times.
I've always pictured Batshit's god-hand in somewhat more scatological terms, as it seems the pencil is being pooped out of a hideously-deformed butt.Gross, I know, but everything makes much more sense that way.
Post a Comment