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Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Golden Ellipses: Creepiest Unintentional Self-Revelation

And the winner is...Pop Tarts!

The nominees for Creepiest Unintentional Self-Revelation are:
  • Elitism (Post) - Mallard, quite literally, does not believe in the right to vote for people of whom he does not approve.
  • Profound Principle (Post) - Profound Principle, perhaps not. Mental problem, more likely.
  • Profoundly Stupid (Post) - Mallard does not know how to turn off the TV.
  • Pop Tarts (Post) - Mallard watches the Disney Channel a lot, and with a pretty disturbing view of their programming.
  • At the Mall (Post) - Mallard is an expert about what goes on with pre-teen bimbettes at the mall.


I hate chuck asay said...

Elitism: This is an utterly horrible thing to believe, but Tinsley's view was obvious for years.

Profound Principle: Tinsley, completely, misunderstands the concepts of profundity, ideas and simple extrapolation.

Profoundly Stupid: I think the colorist intentionally did this one, and if so, he should switch places with Tinsley, because he is hilarious. Regarding the relevation: I am not sure what it is, but knowing Tinsley, I am certain that it is horribly disgusting, and offensive. A vague relevation, however, should not defeat specifically horrible ones.

Pop Tarts: Tinsley masturbates to the thought of giantgreen male monsters in children's clothing.

Mall: Tinsley spends his time masturbating to the above image, while watching "reality" television, and lurking around malls. I think the winner is obvious.

GeoX said...

Oh goddammit--these are all bad, but I've got to go for the Hulk one, because there is absolutely NOTHING in Mallard Fillmore that creeps me the fuck out more than this salacious condemnation of teenage girls. EW EW EW EW EW.

GeoX said... which I should clarify that I am referring specifically to the term "pop tart." Gah.

CW in LA said...

I went with "Profound (sic) Principle", if only because we have here an allegedly grown person who hasn't the vaguest idea what "profound" means.

But, yeah, the whole pop tart concept is pretty heinous.

Kip W said...

I went with the Pop Tarts. Though to me, the creepiest thing in Mallard is seeing him splay his featureless crotch at us over and over: Duck Uncovered.

deepbeep said...

The "pop tart" obsession was definitely creepy. I was tempted to vote for Mallard watching preteens, but this sealed the deal for Pop Tarts: at first I had read "Disney" as "Tinsley", and the joke still worked.

wv: amerime: A patriotic rhyme about America. e.g., a sonnet that mentions a "boot in the ass".

exanonymous said...

Poptarts- combines large mostly naked muscled green guy with concept of underage girls sexily dressed with the idea that this is all Disney does.

It also reveals an intense interest in Fox News' special reports on celebrities activities, because "pop tart" isn't a word the rest of us really knew about beyond the pastry.