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Thursday, February 11, 2010

Those damned Parents

What's Mallard raving about today?

Kids, Parents, Television.

Pretty rich from a duck who spends about 75% of his cartoon glued to the television. A duck who, lacking the capacity for original thought, has replaced it with mindless repetition of what he hears on television. And a duck who is driven to righteous anger whenever a Hollywood Celebrity dares to voice an opinion about child-rearing.

Plus, to quote Bill Cosby: "This is not your child."


Iron Dragon said...

This might be less annoying if he worked out contexts. Since the internet (aside from porn) has a lot of useful databases for school projects and research. IE the 'hours' spent could also be stuff for school. Side note but that's part of why I hate a lot of those studies since they don't offer context for situations where some might be needed.

Playing video games and TV, yeah, that's more entertainment oriented. I still wonder how this 'average' is reached though and how they determine it. And then I wonder what them having parents has to do with anything either.

Either this is meant to be a paternalistic lecture about turning the TV off and spending time with your kids. Or he figures that parents and their children never sit down together and watch TV, or play videogames together or anything like that.

Tog said...

"Using other media?" Jesus, could you vague that up a little, Mallard? Wiping my arse with your strip is "using other media." (Not that I'd ever subject my butt to such a traumatic experience...)

I don't see an asterisk, quack. Is this a real study, or just something Tinsley made up off the point on his skull (while watching television)?

Dumb Duck's only complaining because that's eight hours a day not devoted to FOX News. (And because the little punks didn't shore up "Veronica Mars.")

Is that kid supposed to be watching one of those ultramodern narrowscreen TVs? Or is he watching the door, waiting for one of his parents to come home? That's where the 'rents are, Tinsley: working so the kid can have something besides a bed and a shovel to write study notes on.

"...obviously have no parents..."

Wait, isn't this the exact same Mallard Fillmore who constantly rants about the news spinning and editorializing everything to suit its own agenda? Is there anything about this strip that isn't complete two-faced hypocrisy anymore? Anything at all?

exanonymous said...

The picture confuses me. Is that a mirror door, a television, a portal to Mallard's dimension, or a very thin fish tank? And why is the kid facing away, is Mallard the Blair Witch?

"Using other media" means what? That they're spending time doing research online, calling their parents for rides home on their cell phone, and listening to Mp3 players on school buses? Oh, the horror. It sounds like a lot until you realize that the kids are would then be spending 7 hours not plugged into any media device or watching any digital display, which is significantly less time than the Amish but more than your average American adult.

Tog said...

Heh. Same day, even.

Johaely said...

why is the kid staring at a mirror?

Neo Tuxedo said...

TOGGG! asks:

Is there anything about this strip that isn't complete two-faced hypocrisy anymore? Anything at all?

In the immortal words of Ben Croshaw: "Short answer: no. Long answer: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

deepbeep said...

I thought that "average, hardworking Americans need a break instead of a lecture"?

This kid obviously doesn't have parents; if he did, they'd make sure the TV weren't sitting on its side. He must get taco-neck watching that thing.

Kip W said...

Tog, if you don't see an asterisk, then an arsterisk is implied, meaning he pulled the information out of his arse. Probably while stress-testing the beanbag in front of the TV.

I'm jealous, though, that Tin has one of those 'vertical screen' TVs, and gets "The Back Of The Head Channel." I can't afford to add that to my cable line-up.

dlauthor said...

Kids should be doing what Mallard wants them to do, such as rolling around on the dusty floor with him. And whatever comes after that. Amirite, Anonyrast?

"Other media" includes stuff like books, too, doesn't it? I hate to think what kind of childhood Tinshley's kids have had, if he's limited their access to "media."* Maybe they spend their free time staring at weird upright rectangles, like Jesus wanted them to. "No Sesame Street and Harry Potter for you, kids! It's quadrilateral contemplation time again! But first, go to the fridge and get Daddy some research!"

* Actually, I hate to think what kind of childhood they've had, in general.

Rootbeer said...

If the cartoonist's point is that children spend too much time looking at computer and TV screens, then perhaps he should have drawn one of those things, rather than some sort of mirrored electronic obelisk.

GeoX said...

Whereas Tinsley spends eighty-ninety hours a week on "research." Compared to that, a kid watching seven hours of TV a day is a dynamo of productivity.

Frank Stone said...

Brucie's wrong. It's not racism that's dead; clearly, it's irony.

Kaitlyn said...

My computer died and because of weather and lack of car, I was without for about 2 days.

I did make it, obviously, and have a new toy.

To sound like my mom, the first day I read. But the second day I watched a movie.

My mom was actually talking about this - oh she's so special she knows how to use her touch screen phone and I'm all "use your fingers, not your fingernails ::snicker snicker::" - because they didn't have cell phones, facebook, etc, etc, when she was our age (in college/military training/away from home!!!) and she doesn't know what would have happened if she could have contacted her mom as often as we talk to her.

3x today, by text. And a furious call from my sister across the state because mom ain't answering her phone.

Anyways, Iron Dragon is right - it's all about context.

And if I wasn't online, I'd be watching TV! Possibly a DVD. Alert the media, and my mom.

(Do books count as "media"? If so, 7hrs 38mins sounds pretty paltry if you ask me!)

Ken said...

Interesting that, in addition to there being no citation, the amount is not coupled with "on average" or "x%". So it's completely meaningless.

Kip W said...

The duck's probably getting his fun facts from Ronald Reagan's old index cards, and the Gipper didn't put a lot of context on them. In many cases, he didn't even put which issue of Reader's Digest they came from.

CW in LA said...

dlauthor - The Tinsh has kids? Oh, the unspeakable horror. And here I was feeling sorry for his wife.

vw: elist - The level of celebrity the Tinsh might achieve if he actually worked at it.

Glenn Beck's Bulging Eyes said...

Is Tinsley so drunk that he doesn't even realize that newspaper comics are "other media"? Then again, no one with any sense would want their child to read his terrible comic.

"Read my comic, which lectures you that you're a bad parent if your child reads anything. No wait, it's online media that's bad, so read my comic online and I'll tell you all about it."

Think of the children! If they read too much, they won't grow up to be easily manipulated right-wing sheep.