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Friday, February 12, 2010

That damned Mallentine

What's Mallard raving about today?

The Cubs, Pigs, Hell.

Mallard uses the election in Massachusetts to announce to his wife/lover/hen that he no longer loves them.

Stay classy, Mallard.


Tog said...

Ah, Bruce, ever the piece of sh!t. Couldn't resist one more swipe at Ted, could you? Even if you didn't have the courage to say it outright.

When John Murtha passed away, Bruce's equally-classy knuckledragging brethren responded exactly as you'd expect towards an actual war veteran. One poster at SFGate called him a "scumbag" and then added, without a trace of irony: "funny how karma works."

...Just like how Bruce mentions "hell" in this strip, without a trace of irony.

Faldone said...

Wait! Does this mean the Cubs are going to win the World Series this year?!

Yay!!! Go Cubs!!!!

deepbeep said...

Malentines nooooooooooooooo!!

Rootbeer said...

But how could Tinsley have known, three weeks ago, that DaveyK was planning to drop the "Worst Poetry" award due to lack of eligible entries?

"The Cubs win the Senes"? What's that? There's a reason most comic strips today are lettered by computer, or at least somebody with a straightedge, instead of being scrawled freehand.

Kip W said...

Sweet Zombie Jesus, I think the thing is... smiling!

Make it stop!

Please go back to staring expressionlessly. Please!

Kip W said...

(Could you imagine finding, say, a box of "Mallentines" at the department store for kids to give each other at school? Me neither. I'd sooner buy my daughter a box of Mary Worth or Rex Morgan valentines.)

dlauthor said...

Funny. I'd have thought Tinshley's capacity for live would have died when a black Democratic presidential candidate won Indiana.

Probably best that his heart shrivels up, anyway. His liver needs the extra space.

dlauthor said...

Oh, and when I say "funny" in reference to Mallard, I don't mean the ha-ha kind.

exanonymous said...

Kip, I'd buy those because they would be awesome.

Mallard just isn't. Not even in a mean way.

I'll love you until hell freezes over. Oh look, a republican won a Massachusetts election. Well then, hurry up and put out for this box of chocolates and don't call me again.

John Ball said...

Oh, Right-Wingers think that pissing on Teddy's grave is the height of manliness. Chris Muir does it all the time, and sometimes tries to get Bobby and John with the same stream.

Anonymous said...

Damn Right-wingers showing a lack of total adoration for Ted Kennedy! It's not like he left a young woman to die in his car. Oh, sorry, it is exactly like that.

wavydavy said...

Oh, TinzAnon, you are as clever and original as you are brave enough to use an actual name. In case that analogy is too deep for you, it means "not at all".

And Chappaquidick is related to Valentine's Day exactly how?

WV: offsky. What Tinkley yells at the sun when it wakes him from his stupor on the front lawn.

dlauthor said...

The difference, of course, is that Kennedy spent the rest of his life trying to atone for Chappaquiddick -- whereas Anonyrast will continue to ask eight-year-olds if they'd like to ride in his van until one of their parents finally catches him and takes a baseball bat to him.

GeoX said...

Ted Kennedy causes one death in his drunken, irresponsible youth--bad man, terrible man, monstrous-beyond-all-belief man.

Republicans kill tens and hundreds of thousands of people by starting immoral wars and fighting tooth and nail against safety regulations, affordable health care, and on and on and on? GO TEAM RAH RAH RAH!

Clearly, Kennedy's REAL sin is a lack of efficiency. ONE death? And then spending your entire life trying to make up for it? What's that about? Instead, he should have lobbied hard to legalize drunk driving. THAT would have led to the kind of human suffering and death that makes our anonymous idiot hard.

exanonymous said...

I don't see where anyone here demands the right worship Kennedy. The sentiment is more that he's DEAD already, give it a rest?

Or will you without any self-awareness harp on the failures of a dead man to defend a strip written by a guy who avoided the same crime by DUMB LUCK?

Because otherwise you have no respect for the young woman. She wasn't killed because she befriended a liberal, she was killed because he chose to drink and drive, and that crosses all party lines.

dlauthor said...

Too right, ex. It even seems to have gotten through Tinshley's thick skull, since his most recent DUI, that it was a mite hypocritical to hound Kennedy for the very same sin.

Anonyrast, sadly, isn't even as bright as his idol.

I hate chuck asay said...

Speaking of grammar, hey Tinsley, technically, that should be "...the Cubs wins the series." Had you spent a significant period of time in school, you would have discovered that a single group should be described in the singular.

Thanks for using a death as the basis for your love poem. You are the extreme of class, taste and marurity.

rewinn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rewinn said...

"....she was killed because he chose to drink and drive, and that crosses all party lines."

One would think Brewsky Tinshley would be a little sensitive on the subject of drinking and driving.

But for good luck of his potential victim, he'd have killed someone too.