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Thursday, February 18, 2010

Golden Ellipses: Most Interminable Series or Running Theme

And the winner is...Things That Are Racist II!

The nominees for Most Interminable Series or Running Theme are:
  • Collectibles (Post) - Lacking anything real to complain about in January 2009 didn't stop Mallard. Stupid President Obama and stupid collectibles.
  • Pirates (Post) - After Navy SEALS rescue an American from Pirates, Mallard goes on an extended Straw Man rant against Liberals who he imagined were supporting Pirate rights.
  • Self-Congratulation (Post) - Congratulations to me! Congratulations to me! Congratulations dear Mallard! Congratulations to me!
  • Hulk Not Smash (Post) - Disney's takeover of Marvel pissed Mallard off and led to some quease-inducing moments during an extended rant.
  • Enemies List (Post) - After going through 12 months of Mallard Fillmore, I can tell you that 10-20% of the panels in 2009 involved some mention of the Fox-invented "Enemies List." Although not consecutive, it certainly qualifies. I chose this representative panel because it managed to incorporate last year's winner in this category: Things That Are Racist.
  • Things That Are Racist II (Post) - The first sequel ever nominated for back-to-back Golden Ellipses. In this example, he manages to combine it with the death of Michael Jackson for extra "ick" factor.


CW in LA said...

I had to go with "Congratulations to me". Even beyond the pitiable nature of both the strip and the cartoonist, what the fudge is so special about a FIFTEENTH anniversary? Is the number 15 somehow special in wingnut lore? Is it the average number of times St. Ronnie would walk into a bathroom before he'd finally remember he was doing so because he needed to take a dump, for example?

wv: rebox - Our next senator, now that corporations are people who can finance their own campaigns, thank you Supreme Court Dirtbag Five

HT said...

I want to do the Hulk one because it is so dadaist that I am not sure if it exists even as I read it.

However, I have to go with "Things That Are Racist II", because it is such a perverse theme throughout most of his writing that it really is the most interminable series, because it never, ever stops.

Matthew said...

I actually went with "Collectibles". I remember that. It went on for a fortnight. A FORTNIGHT. It genuinely hurt.

Kip W said...

Racism: the energizer bunny of MF. It's Tin's own Code Orange. Hey, don't look over there! Look at me, playing the 53rd Ace of Spades! (What? You think I meant that? You must be racist!)

GeoX said...

These are all truly awful, and each alone is enough to reveal Tinsley as the worthless hack he is (were any further evidence needed), but I'm voting for "I'm so great!" because you could kind of accept the existence of the man's work if you knew he was completely filled with self-loathing, but to learn that he actually thinks he somehow doesn't suck and that anyone cares about this strip--man, that's the living end. If he left it at one strip it might still be tolerable, but the fact that he won't shut up about it is just stupefying.

WV: "elite." He wishes.

D Koski said...

Does this jerk think he is clever for using the word Racist so often? (That one got my vote). The need to actually use the word as often as he does is so disingenuous that only a drunk would not be bored with its redundancy. Hey, Tinkly, how about the use of a thesaurus? Oh that would alienate the base, by making them look up xenophobe.

In my world, MF stands for something a little more harsh, but very apropos.

rewinn said...

"Racism" vs. "I'm 15 times Great" is a tough pick (although Hulk/pop tart makes any normal adult nauseous) but I'll go for the 15th-year-celebration for the mind-numbing soul-destroying awefulness of thinking anyone really cares about a 15th anniversary of a "comic" strip.

Besides, like Paris, we'll always have racism. But not in a good way.

Iron Dragon said...

The racism one got my vote, just because while some of the others can be annoying the racism one was enough to get me honestly angry. Even if Tinsley doesn't have a huge reader base outside of his detractors trying to claim that racism doesn't exist, or that calling someone out on racist behavior is the more grievous behavior is ultimately more damaging for society as a whole.

I hate chuck asay said...

Everyone knows which one I have chosen, and why, so I will examine the others:

Collectibles: Tinsley is jealous because no one wants to buy anything associated with his work. He has never, and will never produce anything of value, much less something anyone will purchase.

Pirates: Remember that this, specifically, referred to Soamli Pirates, furthering Tinsley's favorite message, "all n---- are hateful, evil demons who live in filth, and smoke crack and are racist towards everyone else, even though racism does not exist, and never existed.

Hulk not Smash: I do not blame Tinsley for using the Hulk as a character. He uses the worst, possible, grammar, sentence structure, vocabulary, and punctuation, and the Hulk is not very coherent.

Enemies List: Tinsley's hero, Richard Nixon loved these lists, and he filled them with everyone his deluded, paranoid mind considered to be a threat. Tinsley does not care, though, because as far as he knows, or cares, those enemies were liberals, communists, and foreigners.

Word Verification: Relipsu. Retsupurae shows that many videos are completely intolerable, retarded, illiterate, and offensive; our equivalent, relipsu, proves that every Mallard Fillmore strip is the same.

Hibryd said...

Yeah, the Hulk series probably deserved it's own category:

"Mallard is bothered about WHAT now?"

Hibryd said...

By the way, DaveyK, you deserve some kind of freakin' medal for sticking with this series day in and day out.

deepbeep said...

After going through all these cartoons again to compile a list for these awards, I'm sure all he wants is a quick death.

Rootbeer said...

There's not a candidate in the bunch that doesn't deserve the award.

Ultimately, the best answer to "what's the most interminable series?" is "Mallard Fillmore itself", and it's for that reason that I cast my vote for the self-congratulating synecdoche, Mallard about Mallard.

Typical of a 15-year-old to furiously masturbate nonstop for a week.